Home
by A Star In My Universe
Summary: "Home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark." For Nicky Nichols, home was a concept that was lost on her. For Galina Reznikov, home was far away from where she stood now. But together, at home was all they felt. Completely AU.
1. Chapter 1

Galina Rezinikov put her head in her hands, her eyes scanning the room of cardboard boxes surrounding her in this old, grimy apartment in a bad part of New York. "Everything we've worked for…gone," she chokes out, her trademark red hair shaking as her body was wracked with sobs. It was close to midnight, and they had finally managed to unload every box and possession that they owned. It now sat all around the desperate woman who suddenly felt very claustrophobic in the one place she was supposed to feel most at ease. Her home was now simply four walls – no scents from cooking infused the walls, no fond memories sprang to mind when she looked at the floor. Her old home was saturated with memories. Her boys' heights marked on the doorframe. The first time she baked the perfect pie. Now…nothingness. An empty shell that she was supposed to love.

Her husband, Dmitri, put his work roughened hand on her shoulder, sighing. "It was for the best, Galina," he says sadly. He lowers his voice to a harsh whisper, though they were alone. "We don't want to get mixed up with those people. _Plokhiye novosti,_ I'm telling you."

"I know, I know," she insists, placing her own hand over his on her shoulder. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have lost my temper…our business, our boys, our home. All lost because of a badly made tit!" The Russian's temper flared as she struggled to contain her emotions whilst recalling that fateful day where her fiery temperament finally got the better of her. Her husband rubs her shoulder absently, attempting to comfort her whilst gathering his own emotions together.

"We'll get new jobs, and make this place our home." He looks around, his face betraying his true feelings toward the dump they now called home. His next words, however hollow they were to her, were sincere. "Galina, all I need is you."

"You won't be saying that when your stomach is growling for food or your clothes are ragged, you old fool." Her words cut the awkwardness of their new surroundings as Dmitri smiles down at his ever-loving wife. Her life may be broken into shards, but her spirit was still strongly intact and her backbone held her up in one piece. "I only know how to run a bakery. I don't know what job you expect me to get," she says flatly.

"You know how to be a mother," he offers, seemingly uselessly, though his compliment was sweet. Galina stares up at him incredulously. He explains further. "We are not that far away from the rich part of the city. There are many children from wealthy families who need a nanny, Galina. It pays well and it's one of the things you know you are good at. You always needed someone to take care of."

Smiling at her husband's words, she considered his theory. Her boys were mostly grown now. The thought of her own children made her eyes water and she shook her head. "I couldn't have been that much of a good mother. My own sons jumped ship like fucking rats."

Dmitri smarted at her tone and language. _"Dorogaya,_ that's not fair. They have their own lives to lead now. You've raised them so that they can venture into the world. Not like rats, like…" he considered for a moment. "Like little ants. Hard working."

"Yes, like ants, they'll only come back when something sweet is offered, and they're a pain to get rid of." Galina shook her head. "They're still my boys, Dmitri. But saints they are not." He laughs at his wife, somehow blunt with her sharp tongue. "Maybe you are right."

"I am always right, my _dorogaya,"_ he laughs. "Tomorrow will be a new day. We'll find jobs. Pay the rent. Make a life here again. No tit punching. No more mixing with those types of people."

Galina nods. "Just me and you," she sighs, finally feeling a little better about their new situation. She sat up straight. There was no time to be weak here. Besides, she reminded herself, Galina Reznikov is never weak.

Falling into bed that night, grasping at her own blankets, which were a homely comfort in this unfamiliar neighborhood and apartment, thoughts swirled around in her head until the darkness of sleep took over her body. The welcome escape did not take long to take hold, and Galina fell asleep in the safe comfort of her husband's arms.

Galina rose before the sun as she was so used to being up and baking for the customers of her bakery, and so she found herself at a loss. After writing a hastily scribbled note to Dmitri, Galina decides to try her luck at finding a job. It takes her forty minutes to walk to the nice part of town, by which time her back ached, throbbing with every step she took, and the sun had finally risen. Her courage wavering with every step she took closer to the first door, Galina knocked on the door with a shaking fist. It was quickly slammed shut in her face with a terse, "We don't want whatever you're selling."

The next house was similar, with the owner not even opening the door. Sighing, Galina walked to the third house. Her head throbbed with hunger and tiredness, but still she knocked. Her hope fell at her feet when a young woman opened the door, clearly busy with a baby. The woman smiled kindly, but Galina still sighed. The woman was clearly the nanny to the little boy she held in her arms, who was much paler than her own olive complexion.

"Good morning," the woman says politely, a Spanish accent colouring her tone with exoticism. "Are you here to see Mrs Evans?" Galina shakes her head, holding her back.

"No," she sighs. "I was looking for a job." The nanny smiles, nodding as if Galina is an old friend.

"Ah," she smiles. "Well, there's a family just down the block – the last house on the left – whose nanny just left. Mrs Nichols is being run ragged, I've heard."

"Can't handle her own kids, no?" Galina asks, shaking her head once again.

"Just the one. A little girl around eleven," the nanny elaborates. "She'll be wanting to go to work soon. Catch her and tell her that you're a friend of Marina's. Or Mrs Evan's nanny – she probably doesn't know my name."

Galina nods gratefully. "Thank you."

The nanny – Marina – smiles back, and closes the door gently, cooing to the baby as she does so. A girl of eleven. Too old to need a nanny, Galina thinks. A tricky age.

Still, with no money and no way to pay the rent, and somewhat intrigued by this neighborhood, Galina knocks on the last house on the left, her fingers crossed hopefully behind her back.

 **This'll be my first multi-chapter OITNB. I hope you like the first chapter and you like where it's headed. All the Russian was translated using Google, so I'm sorry if any of it is wrong!**

 **Plokhiye novosti – bad news**

 **Dorogaya – darling/dear**


	2. Chapter 2

Galina's fist had barely grazed the door before it swung open, revealing a slender blonde woman who instantly demands, "Yes, who are you?" Galina takes a moment to take in the woman before she answers. Her blonde hair tumbled to her shoulders and her forehead creased in confusion as she stares at the Russian lady in front of her.

Galina gulps before reminding herself to stand up straight and to smile. "I'm Mrs Galina Reznikov. I heard that you're looking for a nanny for your daughter, Mrs Nichols. I'm a friend of Mrs Evans' nanny, Marina."

"Mm." Mrs Nichols considered for a moment before stepping aside. "Come on in, then. I don't have time to be wasting. Nicole is still asleep." Galina listened carefully. _Nicole Nichols. What a name to give to a child,_ she thought, attempting to keep her face neutral. Mrs Nichols pointed to the island in the kitchen as she took Galina through. "There is money there for breakfast and lunch. I might be home for dinner, not sure. Paulo might want to take me out." The blonde giggles like a school girl. Galina stares at Mrs Nichols for a moment.

"You want me to start…today?" Galina asks, her tone colored with shock. Mrs Nichols' face drops, and Galina watches her with interest. She nods her head impatiently, her diamond earrings dangling as she does so, glinting in the fresh morning light that streamed in through the spotless windows.

"Oh, can you not start today?" Mrs Nichols asks, faintly irritated. Galina shakes her head, and reaches forward to shake her hand, almost fainting with the relief of actually finding a job. Her face flushes with excitement.

"Oh, I can!" Galina says enthusiastically. Mrs Nichols nods, a small, false smile appearing on her features.

"Good," she says approvingly. "Now, I know Nicole is a little older than most children you're probably used to, and she wouldn't normally need one, but summer has started and well, I'm working a lot of the time. Plus, I'm not entirely comfortable leaving her on her own for all that time. I leave at eight and arrive back by seven, most days. She's always had a nanny but she quit…goodness knows why," she adds quickly. "I just don't want Nicole burning the house down whilst I'm at work. You can use anything in the house," Mrs Nichols adds, "Mi casa es tu casa." After she voices her concerns, she rattles off the money she is willing to pay Galina to look after her child. Galina nods, extremely happy with both the price and the chance to look after someone once again.

"I understand," Galina says, though she's not sure she understands any mother who wants to leave her child that long, or any mother who is willing to let a stranger through the door look after her daughter after ten minutes. Nonetheless, she is grateful. "Is there anything you want to tell me about Nicole?"

Mrs Nichols frowns. "What is there to know? She's a child." She shrugs her shoulders, not trying to be cold but managing to, and continues. "She's eleven. She'll tell you anything else you want to know." She glances at the clock, which reads 7:55. "I really have to go. Tell Nicole that Mommy loves her." The words tumble out of the woman's mouth awkwardly, and the word "mommy" seems foreign to her lips. Galina nods.

"Of course." The words are barely formed by the time Mrs Nichols has opened and closed the door, lost to the morning commuters of New York. Galina takes a moment to process, before quickly grabbing the phone off of the wall and dialling her home number with a shaking hand. On the third ring, Dmitri answers. Briefly, Galina wonders if three will become her lucky number from now on. "Galina?" The voice on the other side of the phone asks sleepily. "Where are you?"

"I got a job," she says. She explains to him what has happened, and he seems pleased for her, though he warns her that it may not be as perfect as she imagined. "How hard can it be?" Galina asks. "She's just an eleven-year-old." Even so, she puts down the phone feeling energetic and like her worries have dissolved by her feet.

That's until she turns around, and is greeted to a face like thunder. "Who the hell are you?" The girl with copper blonde curls demands. _Like mother, like daughter._ She takes a step back as Galina takes a step forward – a defensive action. Galina frowns for a moment and then checks herself, reminding herself that she is a strong woman and after all, she is the grown-up here. The eleven-year-old doesn't even _look_ eleven yet, Galina thinks.

"Good morning, Nicole," Galina says pleasantly. The girl doesn't appreciate this anymore than she appreciated being woken up by a strange woman's voice in her kitchen. "I'm your new nanny." The words sound odd in her Russian accent, but Nicole seems to accept it without question, and Galina takes this as confirming her suspicions that her mother frequently pulled stunts like this, leaving without a word and expecting Nicole to pick up the pieces.

"It's _Nicky._ " Nicky corrects. "A nanny." She pauses for a moment and takes a moment to consider Galina, who forces herself not to squirm under the scrutinising eye of an eleven-year-old. Nicky's brown eyes roll. "So, you've met Marka, eh, Red?"

Galina smiles, and runs her fingers through her hair. "Red. I like that." She nods. "I've met your mother, yes, _Nicky…"_ Her accent makes Nicky's name seem like a spell, rolling off of her tongue easily as she smiles at the child who stares at her in contempt.

"Mother?" Nicky scoffs. "Hardly." The girl rolls her eyes, and Red smiles. She was certainly…fiery, but she liked the girl a lot.

"Well," Galina says softly, Nicky's thoughts confirming her own feelings about Mrs Nichols, "Your mother told me to tell you that she loves you."

"Did she also tell you I was eleven?" Nicky asks, recalling what Red had said on the phone a short while ago. Galina nods. "I'm twelve. Last week, actually."

"Happy belated birthday." Galina responds. Nicky stares blankly at Galina. She's just another face in the sea of help that comes and goes in her house.

"Is it?"

"You don't just sit around waiting for good things to happen. You have to get up and make them happen, my _vozlyublennaya._ If it's not a good day, then we'll make it that way." Galina insists, mulling over what they could possibly do today that would leave a good impression on Nicky.

"What does that mean?" Nicky asks, her mind clearly wandering.

"Hmm?" Galina says, finding herself somewhat pre-occupied with giving the girl a good birthday, even if it wasn't strictly her birthday anymore. "Oh, that just means sweetheart." With Red clearly not paying her much attention, Nicky allows a small smile to creep on her face. It's gone before it really appears, but it was still there nonetheless. The only nickname Marka ever gave her was a sigh that always accompanied the disappointed, " _Nicole."_

"How about inviting a friend over?" Galina suggests. _A good way to break the ice,_ Galina thinks to herself, allowing herself a mental pat on the back as the idea isn't immediately rejected. Nicky pauses for a moment. "Just one, though," Red adds quickly, flashes of a wild party running through her imagination. Nicky shrugs her shoulders, her hair flying around her face.

"I only have one anyways." Nicky replies nonchalantly, though the way her eyes flickered to meet Red's eyes betrayed her true emotions. "I don't like the other kids at school," she reveals, and Red leans closer, resting her head on her hands.

"Oh?" Her tone is light, non-accusatory. Part of her knows that Nicky is opening up to her for reasons that she couldn't fathom, yet she wanted this girl's trust. "Why not?"

Nicky scrunches her nose up, shrugging her shoulders again. "They're all boring. They only focus on their work." She glances up at Galina sheepishly, as if expecting to be chastised. Truthfully, there was a lot of resentment between her and her classmates. She may have been on the same playing field with them financially, but her mother barely gave her a second glance – and when she did it was a look of horror – and she had no other family to speak of, no place to retire to when she just wanted to feel at home. "Private school sucks."

"Well, you want to be smart, no?" Galina asks, absently pushing Nicky's hair out of her eyes. Nicky flinches at this gesture, unused to this impulsive act of kindness. It would take more than a nickname and an interesting accent in exchange for her trust. Galina simply drops her hand, the smile still in place on her face. "Smart girls get the best out of life."

"Are you saying you're not smart?" Nicky counters. Red considers for a moment, wondering if this is a thinly veiled insult. Nicky continues to stare, no trace of a giggle in her features. "Otherwise, why would you want to be a nanny for rich brats?"

"Are you saying you're a brat?" Galina responds without missing a beat. Nicky smirks, and Galina relaxes. Nicky shakes her head.

"Marka thinks so." Nicky bites her lip. "She says I'll never do anything with my life if I keep acting like I do." A sigh follows her sentence and Galina's heartstrings are well and truly tugged.

"Then prove her wrong." Galina waves her hand. "All your life you will be fighting expectations, _vozlyublennaya._ I have been. You will, too." Her Russian accent seems to intensify as she impresses her views onto Nicky. "Prove them wrong, all of them. Stick two fingers up to them and do what you need to do with your own life."

Nicky gives a small smile. "Marka says I'm not allowed to curse," she says, big brown eyes looking at Galina. Galina stands up straight, grasping Nicky by the shoulders.

"Fuck Marka. Fuck them all."

 **Thanks for all your reviews! I hope you like this chapter and that it's showing the bond forming between Nicky and Red already. Again, the Russian is from Google, so is probably wrong. I hope there aren't any mistakes in this. Tell me what you think, what you want to see, and who you think Nicky's one friend is. ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

Galina stood in the kitchen, her mind whirling with a thousand thoughts as she leaned on the island for support. The whole morning still felt very surreal to her; she'd woken up with no hope, no money, and no job. Now she had a little girl to look after, and one who badly needed someone by the looks of it. Pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind, she opened one of the ornate cabinets, her eyes scanning for ingredients. She could vaguely hear Nicky on the phone, talking to her friend, but the words blurred into one long hum as she frowned into the darkness of the almost empty cupboards.

She was aware of footsteps behind her as she closed the door, and turned around to face the smirking blonde who stood in front of her. "No wonder Marka is so skinny," Red says, a frown creasing her features, "She never eats, no?"

Nicky pulls open a drawer on the opposite side of the kitchen, revealing a stack of take-out menus. She holds them up like a fan, and then shoves them back in the drawer with a slam as she shuts it. "Marka eats out at restaurants most nights." She makes a face, pointing to a picture on the wall of her mother and her boyfriend at a work function of some sort. "I eat take-out."

"Not anymore," Red says, her eyebrows raising. To stop herself saying something less than complimentary about Marka, she quickly changes the subject. "What time is your friend arriving?"

"She's coming this afternoon." Nicky replies. "I'm going to take a shower and get dressed." With that, Nicky disappeared into the maze that was the Nichols' residence, and Galina sighed at the state of the cupboards once again. Her stomach growled with hunger, and, despite not wanting Nicky to come out of the shower and find no-one in the house, Galina takes some money that Marka left and heads to the small market near not far from there.

It was a warm morning, and Galina let the sunshine illuminate her face as she navigated through the crowds. Every time she picked up an ingredient, she mentally ticked it off of her list. It took her about twenty minutes before she had completed her shopping, and she hadn't even made a dent in the pile of money that Marka had so carelessly thrown down. Galina shakes her head. _She's burying that little girl and her problems under a mountain of money,_ she thinks. Running her hands through her hair and allowing herself a moment to collect her thoughts, Galina begins the walk back, her thoughts never far from Nicky and her new life here.

As she stepped through the door, she was relieved to hear Nicky upstairs, blow-drying her beautiful blonde locks, and placed all of her bags down on the kitchen island, resting her throbbing back for a moment. After her momentary break, Galina got to work by preparing a tasty, homemade breakfast. She marvelled at the amount of kitchen equipment available to her – if her memory served her correctly, there were more pans and utensils here than she'd ever had in her own restaurant – and noted that hardly any of it had been used before.

When she heard footsteps padding down the stairs, she was almost finished cooking. She had set the table, two places, intricate place mats set down across from each other, knives and forks placed in the correct position. Nicky watched curiously from a safe place. Far enough away that she didn't evoke a reaction from Galina – though she was acutely aware of the girl watching her, and forced herself to continue with her task – but close enough to observe. After what seemed like a lifetime for them both, Galina turned and placed the food onto the plates, offering Nicky a smile and gesturing for her to sit down.

"Blinis!" Galina announced. "Come and sit with me, Nicky." She smiled again at the youngster, an attempt to encourage Nicky to sit with her. "Jam or honey?" Galina offers as Nicky finally slides down at her seat, inspecting the contents of her plate. Nicky glances up at Galina, feeling overwhelmed. Galina simply smiles at her. "My mama used to make these when I was small," she continues, still unsure of whether Nicky was paying any attention. "When I moved here, you couldn't find them anywhere. I learned to make them just like hers." There is a pride in her voice that Nicky appreciates, and her eyes flicker back to Galina. Then she shakes her head and scolds herself for looking like such a moron over the simplest choice.

"Jam."

Galina doesn't complain at her not saying "please" and she doesn't make a comment about her choice of outfit, which is a welcome surprise. In fact, as she sips her tea, Galina smiles at Nicky's short skirt and oversized plaid shirt. "You like?" Galina asks as Nicky finishes the last of her food.

Nicky nods. "What was your mother like?"

 _So she had been listening._ Red raises an eyebrow, considering her question. "Tough, but fair. She wanted the best for me, like all mothers do." She shrugs, a careless action. "Just a mother, you know?" The words tumble out before Galina has a chance to really think about them. Nicky shrugs too, but her shrug is non-committal; she's finished talking about this now.

"Not really." With that, Nicky pushes her plate forward and sits at the dining table, her knees drawn up. Galina watches her, and decides to move the conversation to something less heavy.

"No time for moping." Galina says swiftly, not giving Nicky a chance to argue. "It's your special day and remember – we make good things happen."

After breakfast, Nicky told Galina that she was going to her bedroom, and Galina said nothing. It was a relief to have some time to herself. This girl was an enigma to her, as was her life. Galina had never had privilege like this. Everything she had, she worked so hard for. When she asked for the job, part of her assumed she would resent the family she worked for. But this was no family.

Galina sighs sadly as she walks around the living room, noting all of the pictures of Mrs Nichols and her boyfriend. There were pictures of Nicky, too. Photos taken at school, a toddler with wild curls on her mother's knee. But no joy filled the room. No sense of family clung to the walls. Galina wondered what drove a mother to act like that – to not even remember her only daughter's age was appalling to her.

This only strengthened her resolve for Nicky to have at least one special day. There was nothing she could plan, but a cake, a friend, and someone who cared enough to try would, she hoped, be enough to make Nicky feel special. Whilst Nicky listened to her music, flipping through a magazine that her mother didn't know she had, Galina began her second baking task of the day.

By the time the doorbell rang in the afternoon, Galina was putting the finishing touches to the cake. A "12" written in black buttercream sat atop of a cake decorated to look like the fabric of Nicky's (unbeknownst to Galina) favorite shirt. Galina smiles at her work and after not hearing Nicky's footsteps rushing down, she rolls her eyes and goes to answer the door herself. The door opens to a small brunette, dressed like she's from the 50s in a polka dot vintage halter neck dress, her hair curled and lips the color of Galina's hair.

"Oh!" The girl exclaims, her forehead creasing. "I'm here for Nicky," she explains, attempting to smile at Galina. Galina smiles easily back, used to handling customers and putting people at ease with charisma.

"I know." Galina steps to the side. "Nicky's in her room. I'm Galina, her new nanny." The girl nods knowingly.

"I'm Lorna." Lorna steps inside and immediately sniffs the air, her expression changing into one of wonder. "Ooh, who's been cooking? I tried baking once, it didn't go well – I forgot that I put it in the oven….my god, the smoke, my sister Franny had to get the fire extinguisher…" Galina raises her eyebrows at this story, intrigued and charmed by the girl's fresh air of innocence in the city that seemed so sinful. Lorna simply laughs again.

A familiar voice seems to draw Nicky from her bedroom, and Galina smiles at her as she descends the staircase, waving a hello to Lorna. "Hey, Morello, you made it."

"Of course!" Lorna smiles. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Nichols." Galina conceals a smile at their strange greeting.

"Well, not intentionally, but it's always a welcome surprise when you make it somewhere in one piece…this is New York. There's muggings, attacks, people not appreciating your cute casual racism." Nicky smirks as Lorna's cheeks tinge a deep beetroot, as she looks to Red, trying to offer an explanation.

"I'm not a racist!" She insists. "Nicky, you can't say that,"

"And I told you, you can't base your world views on West Side Story, but we still seem to agree to disagree on this one." Galina watches with a piqued interest at the teasing, as Lorna turns to her to explain.

"I'm not a racist." The comment is said with exasperation, as if they've had this conversation many times before.

"It's alright," Nicky continues, "You're safe around her, Red. She doesn't know enough about Russia to make generalisations."

"Nicky," Galina says, shaking her head, though a smile creeps onto her face. "Don't you think you should be nicer to your friends?"

"Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen." Nicky grins. Lorna shakes her head this time, but leans onto Nicky, lacing their hands together - the only gesture of affection that Galina had seen Nicky openly accept in the hours they had spent together.

"Whatever," Lorna giggles, her face breaking out into a similar grin. "It's time to celebrate your birthday!"

 **Chapter 3! I didn't think I was going to finish. But then I started writing and didn't stop, so here it is. I hope the pace isn't too slow and that you're enjoying it. Of course the friend had to be Lorna…need that Nichorello, right?! ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

Light streams through the window of Nicky's bedroom as the two girls sit on the floor, backs leaned against the bed. Two plates lay discarded on the desk, vanilla cake crumbs scattered over the dainty patterns of the china. It's Lorna who speaks first – it's always Lorna who speaks first.

"Galina seems nice," she says, her voice full of hope and her expression optimistic. Lorna knows how Nicky usually reacts to new people Marka brings into take care of her. "She's different." Her mind cast back to earlier, when Galina had brought out the beautifully decorated cake, twelve candles sparkling in the darkness of the kitchen, and singing happy birthday. Lorna had grinned goofily at Galina's side, her cheeks hurting from the ever present smile. The brunette simply couldn't help it – the sight of Nicky's wonder made her want to squeal. In all the years Lorna had known Nicky, she had never seen that expression on her face.

Nicky's own mind was replaying the same thing as she nodded in reply, softly mumbling, "Mm." She was remembering Galina's words to her.

"Blow out your candles, then, _imeninnitsa!"_ Red had encouraged Nicky, as she stared at the perfect cake in front of her. What made it even better was the imperfections – the little smudge in the frosting, the slight wobble of one of the lines. Knowing Galina had spent time on the cake – spent time on her – made it instantly better than any cake Marka had ever bought from a pretentious, extortionately priced bakery. After a moment or two, she had gently blown at the cake, as if it was illusion that could have been swept away by a simple gust of her breath. Her eyes closed as she made a wish, her face screwing up in concentration.

 _Let this be real when I open my eyes._

Finally, Nicky nods. "Red's nice."

Lorna watches Nicky, carefully considering her next words but smiling at the nickname Nicky had given Galina. "Are you having a nice birthday?" The words seem like a safe bet, but by the way Nicky frowns at her she's not so sure.

"You know it's not my birthday," Nicky sighs. Lorna shrugs, her hand reaching out to brush her fingers over the bracelet Nicky wore on her left wrist. A simple string bracelet, black and red in a chevron pattern.

"I know," she smiles. "That's why I gave you your gift already. I'm glad you like it." Her voice lowers to an embarrassed hush. "I never know what to get you. You have everything already. I tried to borrow money from Franny but-"

Nicky shakes her head at this, catching Lorna's hand in her own, and locking eyes with her. "I don't need you to spend money on me." Her voice is gravelly, sincere and she glances down at the bracelet on her wrist. "This is better than any of the bracelets Marka bought me." Her eyes cast over to the velvet jewelry box with a roll, and she shakes her head again. Lorna just smiles and gives Nicky a hug, letting a comfortable silence fall over the room.

The afternoon wore on, the sky fading to a dusky pink. And even though she didn't want her to leave, eventually Nicky says reluctantly, "You should get going."

Lorna smiles at Nicky. "Are you worried about me walking home when it's late, Nichols? You going soft on me?" Nicky rolls her eyes but pulls Lorna to a stand.

"Just go home, Morello," she laughs. "Take a piece of cake home if you want. There's a lot for just two people."

"Will your mom not try some?" Lorna asks. Nicky pauses for a moment, and Lorna instantly regrets ruining the moment. When she had first met Nicky, she had tried so hard to get her to be this relaxed and friendly, and now she was ruining the open affection she was willing to give away by asking stupid questions. Her cheeks burned and she bit her lip whilst Nicky thought. After a moment or two, Nicky shrugs.

"I don't know what Marka will do." Nicky makes a point of not saying "mom". "I probably won't talk to her until the morning anyway." Her tone is resigned and despite her saying she doesn't care, her demeanour changes.

"Oh." Lorna leans forward and kisses Nicky's cheek before Nicky has a chance to respond. She grins back at Nicky's weirded out face and laughs. "We don't need other people anyway."

Lorna's departure came just in time for a late dinner, and Nicky padded down the stairs to the dining room, where Galina was just dishing up. Nicky can't help the smile that appears on her face when she sees what's being served up. A dish of lasagne sits in the middle of the table. Without thinking, she says, "My favorite." She sits at her place at the table, allowing Galina to take the seat across from her, and looking over the kitchen. "Homemade, too?"

Galina laughs. "Not everything has to come from a packet, _vozlyublennaya._ "

"You like cooking?" Nicky asks through a mouthful of pasta. Galina nods, taking a bite from her own plate. "What, were you a chef before?"

Galina shakes her head, and sighs. "Not a chef. My family owned a small bakery, a bit like a restaurant. I baked for that. Mostly pastries, some cakes." The words are heavy to say and hang in the air.

"What happened?" Nicky puts down her fork, turning her full attention to Galina. Galina puts her hands up and shrugs.

"Bad business." She shakes her head. "Sometimes things happen and it's best just to walk away, Nicky. Remember that. Things will get better. _Budet i na nashey ulitse prazdnik."_

Nicky nods, though she's not sure of the moral of her story nor what she had said in Russian. Still, by the look of fury that had suddenly taken over Galina's once peaceful features, Nicky knew it was best to let it go. Instead, she turns the conversation to something lighter. "How'd you know?" She asks, motioning to her food.

"That it was your favorite?" Galina asks, smiling again. A teasing expression appears on her face. "You can't guess?"

Nicky rolls her eyes, the truth finally clicking in her mind. "Lorna." A smile appears on her face despite the fact that she groaned.

"Sweet girl." Galina says, nodding. "So, _malyshka,_ how has our first day been?" The Russian sounds proud of herself. Nicky isn't surprised. The woman, although clearly not very well off, held herself with such grace and poise. Marka could learn a few things from Galina, even if pearls weren't strung around her neck and she didn't have blonde hair that framed her face.

Nicky smiles. "Surprising."

Galina winks. "I'll take that as a good thing." As she smiled at the girl in front her of, the darkening sky outside caught her eye, and she checked the time. The evening had sneaked up on them both, and Galina frowns, finding it to be after 9PM. "Reliable woman, your mother, no?"

Nicky stares at Galina before setting her fork down and sighing. "She's never home at seven. She tells everyone that. She'll probably be home soon, though. You don't have to stay." Nicky shuffles uncomfortably, and the dark rings under her eyes suddenly became apparent to Galina.

"You look tired."

Nicky shrugs. Truthfully, though she would never admit it to anyone, not even Lorna, her mother rarely came back before 11, and even when she did finally fall through the door, usually with her boyfriend on her arm, Nicky could never fall asleep. Every noise woke her up outside as she lay alone in bed, barely able to breathe as she listened to the hum of traffic and people outside. "Everyone's tired."

If raising three children had taught her anything, it was how to read a face. Galina watches Nicky's eyes flickering, her eyelashes fluttering as she stares ahead tiredly. "Go to bed, _vozlyublennaya."_ Clearly, there was something she wasn't telling her – and wouldn't be willing to tell her – as she trailed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, her brown eyes watching Galina as she left, no argument to be heard.

And Galina couldn't help herself as she wondered if it was too soon to be meddling with the child's life. As always, Galina just went with her gut instinct as she ascended the stairs, knocking on Nicky's door. A small, "Come in." awoke her from her thoughts, and she pushes the door open, not knowing whether she was overstepping boundaries.

Galina could have wept at the sight of Nicky in her pajamas, an oversized t-shirt pulled over her head, her mess of curls covering her pillow, her legs covered by her purple duvet. Her soft eyes stare at Galina, confused and conflicted. "May I come in?"

Nicky nods, and Galina sits down on a chair next to her bed. Nicky watches her, still feeling confused, but intrigued. And then she turns on the lamp on the nightstand, and opens up a book. "I saw this earlier when I was out shopping. I was going to give it to you at dinner but I changed my mind. It's a book that I read when I was a little girl." Galina strokes the pages of the book fondly, a small smile appearing on her features as she recalls her own memories of the book.

Her mother reading to her at night when she couldn't sleep, her mind frayed with stray worries and thoughts that wouldn't leave her. The only thing that helped her switch off was having someone read to her. And so her mother brought down the simple book of fairy-tales from the attic from when she was a very small child, and read until Galina's breathing slowed, her mind filled with fables instead of anxiety bubbling at her surface.

"Just close your eyes, _malyshka."_

Although finding this experience strange, Nicky was too tired to argue and too interested to ignore her. She closes her eyes. Galina lets a small smile appear on her face as Nicky's own face relaxes in the half-light. "Once upon a time in Russia, there lived a princess. Her name was Tanya. She never smiled…"

Half way through the book, Galina noticed Nicky's breathing beginning to even out, her breaths deep and slow. Nicky had surprised even herself. Not known for her trust, Nicky had been able to fall asleep in Galina's presence, and not only that, she had felt totally at ease. Her last thought had been what a strange feeling it was. Quietly, Galina closed the book, and switched off the light, leaving the book of fairy-tales on the nightstand. As she steps down the stairs, feeling weary and tired herself, the front door opens.

Mrs Nichols jumps at Galina's shadowy figure in the hallway. "Oh!" She exclaims, her boyfriend grinning like an idiot beside her. Galina frowns at the pair, minutely shaking her head.

"Shh!" She finds herself yelling in a hushed whisper. "Nicky is asleep." Mrs Nichols frowns but doesn't comment on this, instead ignoring the comment completely.

"You didn't have to stay," she says simply instead. "You can leave at 7PM. Those are your hours." Galina does the same to Mrs Nichols, deciding not to comment on her words. Instead, she leaves wordlessly, shaking her head. Into the darkness of the street, she whispers to no-one in particular.

"She doesn't deserve that child."

The walk to her apartment takes a shorter time now she has some motivation to get home, to get into her own bed. Dmitri is waiting for her at the door, his face creased with worry. Galina falls into his arms, feeling exhausted.

"Galina," he whispers. "How was it, _dorogaya?"_ He guides his wife to a chair, and she sits down gratefully. He bites his thumbnail in anticipation and Galina gives no indication of how her first day went until she is completely ready.

"We can pay the rent," she almost sobs with relief. He laughs, a nervous, almost hysterical howl that sets Galina off. "We're going to be okay, _vozlyublennyy."_

"It won't be for long," he promises her. "You won't have to lift a finger when I get things up and running again."

Galina shakes her head. "She needs me."

"Who?" Dmitri asks. "Nicole?" He recalls her name from the conversation they'd had earlier. God knows it had been running through his mind ever since.

"Nicky." Galina corrects. "Nicky needs me."

Dmitri laughs, sounding unsurprised. "It's you, Galina. You're as precious as diamonds. Everyone needs you, even if they don't know it."

Galina leans against her husband. "Diamonds are useless, Dmitri. I can't do shit with diamonds. Not here."

Dmitri smiles. "And yet everyone seems to covet them."

"People are fickle." Galina concludes, thinking of Marka and her daughter. "They often don't know what they want."

"I know what I want. Only you, Galina." Dmitri takes his wife's hand.

"I want you, too. Not only you. But you're high enough on the list." With that, Galina takes her husband's hand and falls into bed. Sleep would quickly consume her.

 **Okay, so I'll translate:**

 **Imeninnitsa – birthday girl, Budet i na nashey ulitse prazdnik – the sun will shine in our street too (apparently a common Russian phrase, who knew haha), vozlyublennyy – love. The others are also used in other chapters and are just pet names.**

 **I didn't actually proof-read this but I hope you like it and that there aren't many mistakes. The fairy-tale is real and it's a traditional Russian fairy-tale called The Princess Who Never Smiled. Thanks for all your reviews! Tell me what you think please. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Galina stares out of her kitchen window, the morning making a slow appearance before her eyes. It would be another long day, she knew that much, because no matter what Mrs Nichols said, there was no way she would be leaving Nicky before she was ready. She had taken on the responsibility of looking after this little girl, and damn it she was going to look after her as best she could. Still, the dark rings under her eyes and the way her back throbbed reminded her of her own shortcomings, and she sighs. Leaving soon would be a wrench, and even though their home wasn't as expensive or as ornate as their last, Galina did miss the mundane tasks that she used to loathe, such as preheating the ovens and arranging the chairs. Nonetheless, having someone who needed her was a welcome change from her grown up sons who barely called anymore. Her mother's own words came back to haunt her when she looked at the old photographs in the cardboard boxes still stacked on the living room floor. When Galina was a very small child, her mother would smile down at her only daughter as they cooked together and watched her brothers out in the garden. "A son's a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter all her life," her mother would sigh, her thumb gently brushing at Galina's rosy cheeks. Galina hadn't understood it at the time, but she thought she might understand it now.

The sun rising seems to remind Galina that there was hope in the world, no matter where she stood now, and she smiles, draining her cup of coffee and running her fingers through her hair before deciding to take a slow walk to the Nichols' house, hopefully missing Mrs Nichols by a few minutes. The warm summer air greets her with kindness. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad day, after-all.

When Nicky's eyes open in the morning, she wonders if she had imagined yesterday's events. She lays in bed for longer than she usually would, staring at the two plates still sitting on her desk, and when she finally rises, her fingers brush over the hardback cover of the book of Russian fairy-tale that rests, very much real, on her bedside table. She lingers there for a moment before allowing herself a small smile and going downstairs.

The second her eyes land on her mother her smile fades, slipping off of her face instantly. "Good morning to you, too." Marka says, too chirpy for this time of morning. Nicky had hoped she'd already be at work by this time, but she had no such luck. She sighed, and gave her mother a blank look.

"Morning." Nicky walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out a jug of orange juice, pouring it into a small glass as she sits at the kitchen island away from her mother.

"How was yesterday?" Marka asks, almost as a perfunctory measure. "I noticed the cake." Marka comments, her tone cutting into Nicky sharply. "I hope you won't be eating junk food for the entire summer." She shakes her head as Nicky ignores her, her eyes rolling at the irony of Marka's comments.

"Did you also notice the leftovers from dinner?" Nicky asks shortly. "I'll give you a hint: it wasn't in a take-out container."

Marka frowns at this, coming to a stand next to Nicky. "Do you expect me to work all day and then come and cook for you, too?" She shakes her head again. "Really, Nicole." A sigh follows as Marka looks into Nicky's eyes. "I work so I can provide you with the best life I can. I want you to have opportunities, a better start than I had. You've seen the people from the terrible school across from yours. Do you really think any of those people will amount to anything? Not like you, Nicole. With your education and privilege, you could end up doing anything you want." Nicky glares at her mother, her mind drifting to the only source of solace in her school day, which was seeing Lorna at lunch, from "the terrible school" across from hers. Lorna was talented, she was funny, and she was pretty, and so much more than any of that, and Nicky burned with anger at the suggestion that she would never amount to anything. "Do you know where they'll most likely end up?" Marka asks, her eyebrows raising. "Prison. That's where."

When Galina walks through the front door, the first thing she hears is smashing glass. Her heart pounds as she listens for a moment, and then her mind flits to Nicky. The first thing that is remotely weapon like in her line of vision is an umbrella leaning next to the front door. Braced for the worse, Galina seizes the make-shift weapon in her hands and storms into the living room, her expression filled with concern and anguish.

The sight she's met with is almost worse than the imagined burglary, and she immediately drops her umbrella, rushing over to the scene that's unfolding in front of her. Glass shatters by her feet and the crunch of it under her shoes makes her wince. _Broken picture frames can be replaced_ , she thinks angrily, kicking the remains out of the way, _a child certainly cannot be._ She stoops next to Nicky, who is sitting in the middle of the shattered glass, grazes and nicks covering her pale legs, a sharp contrast. White turns to red. Light turns to dark. Innocence turns to sin.

" _Malyshka_ ," Galina says softly, gathering the mess of curls, blood and tears into her arms and onto the couch, "What happened here?" As they stand, Nicky's feet trample her mother's image into the carpet, and her face contorts like the face in the picture does.

"She doesn't understand," Nicky says bitterly, her head shaking. "She never understands." Galina's eyes soften as her disdain for Marka increases. Galina's hand reaches up to Nicky's forehead, but it's batted away with a shove from Nicky. "I don't need _you."_ She spits, the anger evident in her voice. Misdirected anger, but anger nonetheless. Galina lets the girl push her away, but doesn't move any further from her. Instead, she sets her motherly instinct on picking the shards of glass out of Nicky's leg, and wondering what on earth she could do to stop her from hurting, whether it be physically or mentally. The latter would be much more of a challenge.

"I know it hurts, _moy sladkiy,_ but pain is like a knife," she proffers, her voice hopeful. "It cuts you and you'll always bleed, but it's those things that shape you into who you are." Nicky nods through her waning tears, and finally allows Galina to pull her closer. "Now, it's a beautiful day. Let's get you cleaned up and then you can tell me about it, okay?"

Nicky winced as Galina dabbed antiseptic cream onto her leg where the nicks were, her forehead creasing with every little gasp of pain Nicky gave. "I know," Galina murmurs softly, closing the bottle and placing it onto the side with a sigh. "Now tell me – why were you so upset?"

"Just Marka." Nicky whispers, her eyes trained on her legs, that were pulled up to her chest. "It's always the same." Nicky shakes her head. "She doesn't want me to see Lorna anymore." Galina nods slowly, but doesn't really understand Marka's reasoning with this anymore than she understood anything else she had so far encountered with her. "She thinks I should make friends at my own school. That she's a bad influence." Galina smiles at that, her lips quirking up despite her obvious effort to stay neutral. Nicky smiles sheepishly too. "It's probably the other way around."

Galina shrugs, but not in a careless manner. "I think you and Lorna are both influenced by one another. And that's no bad thing. You agree, no?"

"I only have her, Red." Nicky looks up at Galina, her eyes red. She bites her lip, a long sigh escaping from her lips. "I don't have anyone else."

Galina considers this for a moment. "Nicky, _malyshka,_ you have me." She runs her fingers through her red hair, feeling utterly worn out. Her red tresses would be turning gray with the stress that one little girl would bring.

Nicky watches Galina. In her mind, she doesn't know whether she should trust her. Yet her heart yearns to reach out for her, even if she hasn't known her very long. Something about her blue eyes gave Nicky hope, a feeling of ease.

Blue is good. Skies, oceans, and now, ironically…Red.

 **I hope you liked this chapter. Please tell me what you think. :) Again, I didn't proof-read…hope everything is okay though.**

 **Qwerty – Thank you for telling me! I actually went back and changed the errors, because it does matter to me. :)**

 **In the last chapter I translated something wrong so the right version is: "Budet i na nashey ulitse prazdnik" would actually translate to "the celebration will come to our street, too". It sounds much cuter actually, so I'm pleased!**

 **Moy sladkiy – my sweet (hopefully!) Again, translated from Google so I can only hope.**


	6. Chapter 6

"And then…" Red says with a smile, stepping aside to let Nicky get closer. "You punch it!"

Nicky stares at Red like she's suddenly gone insane, and her eyebrows raise. "I…punch it?" Nicky asks, her eyes trailing down to the dough and back to Galina's eyes. Galina nods enthusiastically.

"Yes! That's the best part of making Tula gingerbread. You get to take all your frustrations out onto it." Galina's eyes shine and she's proud of herself for thinking of this. It was a recipe that she had made every New Year's Eve with her own little boys, and she thought it was a safe place to start with building Nicky's trust and confidence in her.

" _Now, boys," Galina said, her voice stern as she stared down at the two little boys standing in front of her, their mother's old aprons far too big for their little frames. "It's going to be a new year. This is where you put all of your anger that you have from the year, and you leave it there. It burns up in the oven and we eat the product. A new year should be happy. A new start. No angry boys starting fights." Galina kissed her fingertips like the Italian chefs she'd seen on the television, and stepped aside for her children to see the dough she'd made. "And it's wonderful. So get punching."_

 _Her sons would always revel in this part, their little fists pounding on the countertops as Galina watched with a smile on her face. Usually, after this part they'd scurry off, probably outside to play ball with Dmitri, and only reappear when the smell of gingerbread began to permeate the walls, begging to have a piece before dinner whilst Galina pretended to consider, before "giving in". It was the same every year. But they would always ask to do it again next year, and it was the thought that they might do this with their own children one day that always brought a smile to Galina's face._

Nicky still looked unsure, but she hesitantly punches the dough, her fists pummelling at the work surface. Galina watches on, a look of concern on her face whilst Nicky concentrated. Baking was a safe, neutral territory for them both. Galina was good at it, and Nicky seemed eager to learn. Or eager to have someone paying attention to her just because. Galina couldn't quite tell as Nicky continued to watch her carefully, almost as if she was waiting for a trick or catch to their quality time spent together. Galina simply offered Nicky a forced smile, pushing the worry out of her mind as she tried to enjoy the time they were spending together.

"Now what?" Nicky asks, her fingers poking suspiciously at the dough that Galina promised would turn into something scrumptious. "It looks…ugh."

Galina picks up the dough and a rolling pin, hitting one of her hands with the rolling pin in the other hand. She may have looked menacing to some, but Nicky burst out in giggles and took the rolling pin from her with a roll of her eyes. "Roll it out, but not too thin," Galina instructs. "It may look "ugh"," Red imitates Nicky, her hands gesturing in the air, "But I promise, _malyshka,_ it will taste good."

By the time the gingerbread was in the oven, Nicky's frayed temper had calmed, and Galina sent a silent thank you to her own mother for teaching her the recipe. She conceals a triumphant smile, knowing that Nicky would ask why she was smirking if she dared to. If baking was what it took to calm Nicky, and to gain her trust, then Galina would teach her a new recipe everyday if she had to. To be truthful, baking had a similar effect on Galina. Her bakery closing had crushed her, and the thought of having no-one appreciate her talents made her want to crawl under a rock, or to throw that rock at the people that caused it. Galina still couldn't see a group of joggers without her fists balling in anger. It was nice to be able to pass on her talents, and to give someone the joy of creating something to enjoy, an experience that Nicky had been robbed of, like so many others.

Whilst Galina was caught up in her own memories and musings, Nicky's eyes were being cast around the living room once again, her eyes flitting from photo to photo on the unblemished walls of her home. There were memories plastered on the walls, but barely any of them were hers, and none of them were happy. The pictures might have been smiling but smiles aren't always a happy thing. Nicky had learned from a young age that smiling could save you from awkward encounters and a glare from Marka. It was just easier to fake a smile than it was to have an argument. Her world was already littered with lies and facades, what was a smile when you really thought about it? No more effort than a wave. As natural as breathing for some.

A tear slid down Nicky's face as she fought the emotions bubbling beneath her surface. The argument from this morning still stung, and her mind was filled with worries like never being able to see Lorna again. As with most things, it did not go unnoticed by Galina, who frowned next to her. In a heartbeat, Galina was next to Nicky, her voice full of reassurance. "Oh, _vozlyublennaya,"_ her voice is soft, but firm, as she pulled Nicky up. "I think it's time we went for a little walk. Get some fresh air. It will do you good."

Galina turns off the oven before dashing back to Nicky, her fingers ghosting over Nicky's forehead in the first display of affection that Nicky allowed. _Weak. Pathetically weak,_ Nicky thinks, as she actually enjoys the feel of Galina's touch. It grounds her somehow, reminds her that not all is bad. And that scares her more than anything. It scares her more than being home alone in the dark, more than the first night of holiday camp when she doesn't know anyone. It hasn't even been a week, she reminds herself, almost as a warning not to get attached.

Out in the warm summer air gives them both space to breathe, even if Nicky's mind still thinks back to all the awful things her mother had said to her, even if Galina's back throbs as she holds up Nicky. She doesn't know the area well, and as they walk, Nicky begins to talk, her hair providing a shield from having to look Galina in the eye.

"You won't stop me from seeing Lorna, will you?" Nicky asks worriedly. Galina smiles. Out of all the things that had happened this morning, that was the one thing still on her mind. She shakes her head.

"Marka has said nothing to me." Galina says simply. Truthfully, she would be put in an awkward position if Marka did instruct her to ban Lorna from seeing Nicky. Whilst she didn't see the harm in their relationship, and it was one of the only things that she'd ever see bring a smile to Nicky's face, she really needed the rent money for this month. She couldn't afford to be caught disobeying her employer and get fired. The thoughts churned around in her mind whilst she tried to fill the silence. There was no need to worry Nicky with her own worries, and as Galina looked up, she saw the perfect distraction for Nicky. "Come on. My apartment isn't far from here. You can meet my husband."

"Why?" Nicky frowns, her nose scrunching up in confusion.

"Because I've been telling him about you, and I'm sure he'd like to meet you." Galina says evenly, putting her arm around Nicky's shoulders as she steers her in the right direction. It doesn't take them long to reach Galina's apartment. Nicky looks concerned at the neighborhood, and Galina stops herself from laughing at Nicky's horrified expression. "I know," Galina says, a sigh crossing her lips, "I wouldn't live here either."

"No," Nicky says unconvincingly. "It's nice."

"It's filthy, my bedroom is too small, and I can hear the people upstairs."

"But your husband is there." Nicky offers. Galina raises her eyebrows.

"Eh." She makes a gesture with her hands as if she's weighing up the pros and cons. "Dmitri is a good man," she finally says. "He is worth staying here."

Nicky smiles sadly. "I'd swap the house for a family."

There was nothing left for Galina to say as she opened up the door to her apartment. "Galina!" Dmitri says, coming to a stand. He puts the phone, which was nestled between his ear and shoulder, down and switches off the television. "That was Yuri on the phone," he explains, before noticing Nicky. "Oh, you must be Nicky," he says with a smile. "Welcome to our home." He looks around, the embarrassment plain on his face though Nicky's expression is simply one of curiosity.

"Yuri?" Galina interrupts. "What did he want?" Dmitri's eyes flicker back to Galina and he sighs. "What is it?"

"They're…getting married." Dmitri finally says, whilst Galina glares at him. Nicky's lips quirk up into a smile as she tries to hide her giggles. "Please, Galina.." Nicky has never seen a man so under his wife's thumb as Dmitri stares at her. "Count to ten."

Galina frowns as she quickly mumbles one through ten before looking up, her emotions more in check. "He's marrying _Sparkle Tits?"_ Galina spits out the name.

With that, Nicky can't help but comment. "You're going to have a daughter-in-law called Sparkle Tits?" Her tone is a mixture of impressed and confused.

"Not if I can help it." Galina frowns, sinking down onto the couch and putting her head in her hands. "Sons!" She shakes her head as Dmitri comforts her.

"She makes him happy," he offers. The words, whilst hollow, do seem to bring Galina comfort as she leans onto her husband. _How nice,_ Nicky thinks. _He really loves her._ He strokes her back lovingly and eventually, after a few moments of silence, Galina nods.

"Fine." Galina says simply, shaking her head. "The grandchildren better be worth it," she laughs, the tension dissipating in the room. It showed how powerful of a force Galina could be. Her influence over a room was paramount as everyone relaxed with her. "Nicky, this is my husband, Dmitri."

Nicky nods her head, forcing herself to smile politely. "Hi."

"Hello, dear," Dmitri says, the relief to have changed subjects evident in his voice. "I've heard a lot about you. Count yourself lucky," he chuckles softly. "As you can see, not many people manage to enthral Galina like you have."

Nicky manages a genuine smile, though it takes some effort. "I don't like many people either, so Red's a good match for me." Dmitri raises his eyebrows at his wife's nickname as Galina blushes on the other side of the room, her cheeks tingeing the color of her hair.

"Red?" He asks. Nicky shrugs, embarrassed.

"Yeah. Like her hair. And her temper, apparently." Nicky smirks, whilst Galina gives her a good-natured glare, wagging her finger.

"You don't want to be on the receiving end of it," Dmitri warns with a laugh. "I'm the voice of experience!" He laughs one more time and then heads for the kitchen. "Sit, ladies. I'll make tea." Nicky nods enthusiastically but Galina shakes her head.

"No, _vozlyublennaya,_ we should get going." Galina kisses Dmitri's cheek and smiles at Nicky. "We'll have tea at home. And a piece of Tula gingerbread, no?"

Dmitri laughs at this, nodding his head. "It doesn't take Galina long to start baking." He smiles at Nicky, and squeezes her shoulder. "But you're in for a treat, Nicky. No-one has perfected Tula gingerbread like Galina."

The normalcy of their life, home and relationship made Nicky feel at ease, even if she had only just met Dmitri and if she hadn't known Galina long. It was easy to trust someone who made you feel so safe. Someone who looked after you. Someone who knew when it was time for a hug, but also knew when it was time to back off. Nicky wonders if that's what a mother is supposed to do, but doesn't dwell on it as she waves goodbye to Dmitri and heads into the open air of New York again with Galina.

The feeling of ease disappeared as they approach the steps up to Nicky's house. It's Nicky who notices first. But the slight nuance in her walk alerted Galina to the change, too. With a glance at each other, Nicky opens the front door. She's greeted by Marka, a wine glass in one hand, a picture frame in another.

"Nicole!" Marka says, stumbling forward. Her face is tearstained and she's clearly had too much to drink already. Nicky catches her mother, but it's an obvious effort for the young girl to save her from falling, both physically and mentally. The disgust is evident on her face. "Mommy came back from work early. Aren't you happy to see me?" Nicky's obvious discomfort is ignored by Marka as she turns to face Galina. "You can go," she says offhandedly. "Come back tomorrow."

"But-" Galina tries, but she's cut off.

"Don't worry," Marka laughs. "You'll still get paid." She rolls her eyes. "Everything's about the money."

"Nicky?" Galina whispers, her attention turning to the demoralized girl under Marka's arm. "Will you-" Before she can finish, and before Nicky can respond, the door is slammed in Galina's face. On the outside of the door, Galina's hand reaches out for the girl she can't seem to save. On the inside, Nicky's own hand grasps at what could have been.

For both of them, it would be a long night.

 **I hope you like this chapter! I actually spent some time watching a tutorial of how to make that gingerbread…it's traditional and you do actually hit it. Please tell me what you think! I also have a new Nichorello fic called From A To Z if you'd like to check that out also. ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

Nicky stares at the floor, vaguely aware of the sounds of her mother vomiting in the downstairs bathroom a few feet away from her. The longer she stared, the more the fury built in her chest. Gingerbread crumbs and glass shards were ground into the carpet, taunting her. All of her hard work, all of her frustrations, all of the hopes she'd put into the gingerbread now lay on the carpet, Marka clearly having taken her own frustrations out on their creation, leaving a trail like Hansel and Gretel had left to find their way home. Only at the end of the trail there would be no home for Nicky, just disappointment and – by the sounds of Marka retching – a big mess to clear up.

Nicky's eyes snap up as she finally hears the toilet flush and Marka emerge, her eyes red and makeup smudged. Nicky didn't have the heart to say anything. If she was sure of anything in this world, in her short twelve years, it was that she wasn't her mother. She wouldn't be cruel as much as she wanted to be. Instead, she steps aside to let Marka through to the kitchen. Marka offers a grateful smile, her high heels crunching on the unfamiliar terrain of her daughter's hard work and the glass that she'd managed to smash. As Marka sits in the kitchen, her head in her hands, she looks up to Nicky.

"It's over," she says, as if Nicky is supposed to understand; as if Nicky is supposed to _empathise._ "Paolo. He left me."

"Oh," Nicky manages, the dumbfounded word escaping from her mouth before she can really think about it. Her hands wring together, her nervous fingers chipping away at the Icing nail polish Lorna had insisted she paint on her nails earlier that week. Blue flakes fell to the floor like tears as the nervous chipping continued, an awkward silence ensuing between what should be the most natural bond there is; mother and daughter. Nicky felt as if all the air in her chest was gone, like a deflated balloon. She always felt this way around Marka. She didn't even have the breath or the gall to make a sarcastic comment.

"Oh?" Marka says mockingly. "I pay thousands of dollars for your education, and the most articulate thing you can manage is _Oh?"_ Nicky's lips press together as she fights the urge to either cry or scream. _Count to ten,_ she tells herself, remembering Dmitri's words to Galina.

 _One two three._

"Nicole," her mother sighs. "I'd get more comfort from the bottom of a wine bottle. Pass me a glass." Her hands reach out, but not for Nicky. Never for Nicky.

 _Four five six._

Nicky reaches up to the cupboard, almost snapping the stem of the glass as her fists ball up beside her. "Is that all?" Nicky asks through gritted teeth. Marka raises her eyebrows at her daughter, yet another sigh escaping from her lips.

 _Seven eight nine._

"Nicole, how can you not understand?" The tears are flowing freely now, and Nicky suspects the wine has had more than a small influence on Marka as the emotions that always remain in check spill all over the counter along with the wine spilling from the knocked over glass. "I _loved_ him." Marka shakes her head, wiping the tears away from her eyes. "I loved him more than anything."

 _Ten._

Nicky fled from the room, the comment cutting into her more than she ever imagined it could; more than she ever wanted it to be able to. She wasn't surprised. But as she flew up the stairs and onto her bed, facedown, she was hurt. A now damp pillow soaked up her tears and cushioned her sobs. It would provide more comfort than Marka ever would.

"Fucking _woman."_ Galina fumes as the front door slams behind her. Her fists ball up at her sides, her crimson lips pressing together as she attempted to control her rage. "That little girl deserves so much more."

"Galina," a warning voice brings Red back down to earth, but her anger still burns in her eyes. "One, two, three.."

"Yes, yes," Galina snaps. "Four five six seven eight nine ten." She inhales quickly as Dmitri patiently waits for her to explain. "Her mother was there." Galina scoffs at her own words, mirroring Nicky on the first day they were together. "She's not a mother, that woman."

"Well, that's a good thing, no?" Dmitri absently rubs Galina's arm, the sensation providing Galina with little comfort as her mind drifts to Nicky's anxious expression when the door was slammed. Galina glares.

"Of course not." Galina shakes her head, then takes another deep breath. "Dmitri…the woman doesn't know how to be a mother. She doesn't know how to comfort her own child."

"There are worse people in this world. She's got a roof over her head, food in her stomach. _Moglo byt' i khuzhe."_ He takes his wife into his strong arms, feeling useful for the first time in a while. "Come, _dragotsennyy._ It's late. Let's go to bed." Galina nods but shrugs off his hands from her back, only now noticing the dull ache that resided near her tailbone. "Things will seem brighter in the morning."

Before retiring to bed, Galina steps into the shower. The hot water that runs over her body gives a good distraction, though her thoughts float around the steamy cubicle, suffocating her. She closes her eyes, the water running over her face. Usually, this relaxes her to no end. Today, though, it only gave her mind a chance to flash images of Nicky's face into her mind, and to see the stumble of Marka Nichols as the slam of the door reverberated in her mind.

It was strange to see how the girl had stolen the remains of Galina's heart. It was more than a job to Galina, and it was clear that Nicky needed someone even if she didn't want to admit it. Raising her boys had been hard work, and she thought that they would be the last children she'd have any big influence over. Still, she had to admit that it was nice to have those big Bambi eyes staring up at her in wonder when she said something. Galina knew it wouldn't be long before Nicky trusted her to open up, to instinctively accept a loving touch or shoulder to cry on. She just had to keep trying.

As she fell into bed, she knew it would be a restless night for her. Wasn't it always, these days?

Nicky was awoken by the sounds of screaming downstairs. Her eyes fluttered open, blinded by the harsh light of her bedroom. She groaned, taking a moment to remember where she was and what had happened. After piecing it together, she listened carefully to the noise downstairs. After a moment, she could decipher the noises into words.

"I knew you were sleeping with her! You always denied it but I knew! Well, fuck you!" Marka's voice seemed to shake the walls. Her normally composed, eloquent way of communicating was clearly left at the bottom of the last bottle she'd downed in her attempts to forget. Nicky wonders if she'd end up like her mother one day, trying anything just to _forget._ It didn't sound like such a bad plan.

An accented voice shouted next, and Nicky instantly recognizes it as Paolo. "I did not sleep with her! Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time? I only love you!" The words are followed by a harsh sound, a slap. Nicky winces as though it's her face that's been struck, and pushes her hair back in a nervous habit. There's smashing glass again – _would there even be a glass for breakfast_? Nicky wonders – and more shoving. Yelling. Screaming. It's not unfamiliar. It had happened at least twice in the last six months. The last time it happened, Nicky fled to Lorna's house.

 _The streets were cold, but Nicky's determination drove her on. She wasn't even sure she knew where she was going. Anywhere was better than home, if it even warranted that name. She shook her head, and though she was reluctant to bother Lorna, she really had nowhere else to go. Her only hope was that Lorna wasn't too mad at her._

 _Finally, after what seemed like forever, an apartment that looked like Lorna's came into view, and Nicky sighed with relief. She bit her lip. But she knew that Lorna's bedroom was the only one with a window facing the street, and the dumpsters next to the building would provide her with the footing she needed to knock on the window. With a final glance behind her, she began to scale the side of the building, spitting on her hands and then taking a running jump._

 _After falling to the ground with a thud, she realized that it was portrayed as much easier in the movies – and, although she wouldn't admit to watching them anymore, the cartoons. She stepped back for a moment, considering. She closed her eyes, and then ran toward the building. All of her strength and determination went into grabbing onto the side, and keeping her grip. The window wasn't too high up and certainly wasn't on the top floor and for that, Nicky sent up a silent thank you. Her hands stung and her ankle was twisted but she'd reached the window and she heaved a sigh of relief. She gently tapped on the window. When there was no answer, her impatience grew, and she rapped on the glass so hard that it rattled in the frame._

 _Inside, Lorna jumped. In an instant, she was up, peering out of the window curiously. Her heart pounded as she wondered what it could have possibly have been. When she saw Nicky, her heart almost stopped. She yanked the window open, her mouth working hard to find the right words. When none came, she pulled Nicky through, enveloping her into a tight hug as her heartbeat returned to a normal rate. "What are you doing?" Lorna demanded, her eyes full of concern. "You could have fallen!"_

 _Nicky shrugs. "I…" She struggled for the right words, not wanting to admit what her home life was really like just yet. "I wanted to see you." It wasn't a lie. Not outright, anyway. Nicky did want to see Lorna. She wanted to see her most of the time. Lorna had a way of making her feel secure. She never poked fun at her hair, instead raking her fingers through it enviously as the watched television or Lorna flicked through one of her magazines. She never asked for anything, just friendship. The way Lorna's eyes softened made it clear that she didn't quite believe what Nicky was saying, but she stepped aside anyway._

" _You're freezing," Lorna remarks. "Sit down." Nicky does as she's told, kicking off her shoes, and Lorna sits down beside her on the bed. She plays with Nicky's fingers, the silence between them impossibly loud. "Are you alright?" The words are raspy, and Lorna isn't sure she wants to hear the answer. Nicky, who's always smiling and cracking jokes. Nicky, who won't let you be sad for more than a minute without attempting to make you feel better. Nicky…the only person she's ever felt so comfortable with._

 _Nicky swiftly nods. "I'm fine, kid." Her own words are shaky, but neither questions it. They simply sit together until the sun rises. Until Nicky is warm again. Until the unfallen tears dry, and until Lorna is ready to let go of Nicky's hands._

This time, Nicky was reluctant to worry Lorna. There was only one place she was willing to go to. Without really thinking, Nicky was out the door, her little book of fairy-tales shoved under her jacket. The walk seemed slower in the night time, shadows casting doubt over otherwise innocuous landmarks in the street. Buildings turned into a threat. Cats turned into tigers. The odd homeless person turned into a mass murderer. Nicky shakes her head. _Save it for the fairy-tales, Nicky,_ she tells herself.

The sound of New York at night gave Nicky a distraction. Even the traffic sounds were a welcome change from Marka's yelling, and Paolo's stupid accent. Before she really knew it, Galina's apartment stood in front of her. The fire escape gave Nicky an easy entry into their home, and she hesitated before knocking on the glass. She was beginning to feel like a stray cat, forever tapping on the glass of homes that might want to take her in for a while. It hurt her ego, and her pride was stung, not to mention her hands and feet from climbing.

Inside, Galina lay awake. The sound of tapping on glass pulled her from her thoughts. Cautiously, she climbed out of her bed, careful not to wake Dmitri. Her forehead creased in concern and her eyes narrowed as she attempted to locate the sound. When it happened again, she crept over to the window next to the fire escape, and twitched open the dusty curtains. _"Nicky?!"_

 **Here's the next chapter then! I hope you liked it. I know Lorna didn't really make an appearance, but I know there's been a few people wanting to see her, so I tried to put her in there somewhere. Please tell me what you think.**

 **The Russian is "could be worse" and "precious". :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Galina cups Nicky's face in her hands, her palms attempting to warm her as they caress her features. A look of wonder swims in her blue eyes as the older woman looks at the young girl like she hung the moon that shone so brightly in the sky tonight. Nicky is close to tears at the realization that she's not in trouble; that she's _wanted._ Galina forces the girl's chin up so she's looking her in the eyes. "You stupid girl," she says, her voice breathy and harsh. "Anything could have happened out there at night." She pushes the blonde mane out of Nicky's eyes and tuts, her head shaking in the fear of what could have been. The unspoken end to that lecture hangs in the air awkwardly; _what would you mother think?_

"Paolo came back." Nicky whispers into the darkness, wriggling out of Galina's grasp. Now the amazement from the warm welcome she'd received had worn off, she was feeling pangs of awkwardness at their sudden closeness. It was nice, but unfamiliar – Nicky was unsure if her arms ached from the climb, or if they ached to wrap themselves around Galina, but resisted the urge to wonder about either. "They were arguing…" she shudders, remembering. "There was broken glass everywhere, screaming.."

"Oh, my malyshka," Galina breathes, her breath hitching in her throat as she attempts to contain her own emotions that were quickly resurfacing from earlier. Her own boys had never caused her this much worry – she'd always made sure they were busy with activities. They'd never had any time for trouble. And even when the business wasn't doing well, even when Galina felt as if she could shove Dmitri's head through the glass window at the front of the bakery, she never argued in front of her children, never made them feel unsafe in their own home.

Nicky's bottom lip pushes out, forming a childish pout that made her look years younger as she thought back. "She broke our Tula gingerbread." Her tone was resigned, but there was still that fiery anger in her words that made Galina smile. She waves her hand, though the anger burned in her, too. There were more important matters than gingerbread right now. "It was all over the carpet." _Much like my expectations,_ Nicky adds silently.

"It doesn't matter," Galina tells her, tucking a stray piece of hair from Nicky's forehead behind her ear. Nicky reluctantly lets her. "We'll make more," she says optimistically.

Both knew that the words meant much more than just a confirmation that they'd bake more. For Nicky, it meant that Galina wouldn't give up on her. Her words resonated with Nicky more than she'd ever be able to articulate, feeling tongue tied at the very thought. For Galina, it was an unspoken promise that she had no intention of breaking, no intention of ever giving up on. "She'll just break it again," Nicky says hopelessly, her head minutely shaking. Her voice is quieter than usual, and Galina isn't sure it's simply out of politeness to the sleeping Dmitri. "There isn't any point."

"Come on," Galina pushes on, ignoring the girl's last remark though she disagreed. _Now is not the time,_ Galina thinks, her hands reaching out for Nicky. "Let's get you settled." Nicky frowns, wondering what Galina meant. She didn't ask and Galina didn't explain, instead choosing to pat the couch cushions. "Lay down, _milaya_ ," Red instructs.

Nicky awkwardly obeys the tired woman, laying down on the couch rigidly like a patient in a psychiatrist's office, her book still firmly clutched at her chest. Galina smiles softly at Nicky, her curls overwhelming the sagging cushions. She stares for a moment longer before settling down next to Nicky on a chair. Her dressing gown made her look softer than she usually looked, her hair falling loosely around her shoulders. The dim light from an antique lamp softly illuminates the room. Unlike the outside world, the shadows create curiosity instead of terror. Galina gently tugs the book from Nicky's hands, sliding her glasses onto her face as she mumbled to herself. "Right…where were we?"

The older woman flicks through the book as Nicky watches her carefully. The very presence of Galina allowed Nicky to relax, and the sounds of the book pages flipping already made her feel sleepy and safe. Before beginning to read, Galina sighs and looks down at Nicky. "You know you are always welcome here, don't you, _malyshka_ ," she states, her tone indicating that it's a rhetorical question. Nicky nods silently anyway. "Good."

Galina's legs cross as she rests the book on her lap. In a hesitant movement, Galina's fingers ghost along the back of Nicky's neck. Her first reaction is to flinch, and Galina cringes. But after a few more seconds, she relaxes, her eyes closing. Touch. The most natural thing in the world. It made Galina's heart break that to Nicky, a gentle touch of comfort, reassurance, was so alien to her. But also it made her feel so privileged. To show her that not everything was a test, to show her that sometimes, a hand coming toward you is not just reaching behind you would be a remarkable thing. A smile skimps Galina's features for a moment as she considers, before she turns her attention back to the book, her finger following the line she was reading in concentration.

Nicky's eyelids fluttered in the half light of the night as Galina finishes the last line, " _From that day on, the castle was full of smiles and friends. They all lived happily ever after…"_

With a sigh, Galina closes the book and smooths Nicky's forehead, her fingers trailing against her temple. In sleep, her face is serene and she is relaxed enough to not move away from Galina, instead her breathing beginning to even out further. Galina drapes a crocheted blanket she'd received from her own mother over Nicky's sleeping form lovingly. She tip-toes out of the room, wondering how on earth she would explain this in the morning to Mrs Nichols, provided she even noticed what had happened.

Dmitri is sitting up in bed when she enters her bedroom. She flashes him an apologetic smile as she closes the door behind her. He smiles back, his expression sincere. He reaches out for his wife and she pulls back the covers, once again attempting to ignore her aching back as she settled down. "I heard you reading," Dmitri says, his voice rises at the end of his sentence in a rising inflection as if he's asking a question. Galina nods.

"Nicky is here." Four words that take them both by surprise to say aloud. "Try to get some sleep," Galina says, turning onto her side as she tries to find the peace needed to fall into a hopefully dreamless slumber.

Nicky wakes up earlier than she usually does. At first she's alarmed not to find her usual bedroom around her, to not have her own duvet covering her like a shroud. But the blanket draped over her is warm, and though her arm tingles with pins and needles from sleeping on it, she feels secure. Her eyes wander around the room curiously. The light coming in through the windows made it much easier to see everything than the dimly lit lamp from last night.

Last night.

Nicky shivers at the memory. She _hated_ feeling weak. It was pathetic. She couldn't come running to Galina every time something went wrong because God knows it was more unusual when something was going right. Besides, Galina's motivation was purely based on survival. Nicky squirms at the thought of the affection Galina had shown her. It was all fake. It was all for the money. Nicky shakes her head. She needed to remember that. Don't start caring about people on the payroll – it will only end in tears. So why had Red seemed to relieved to see her when she stood on the fire escape? Why had her first instinct been to pull her in and brush her warm hands over her features? It didn't make sense to Nicky.

Before she's really woken up, Nicky is out of the door. Too many conflicting feelings were overwhelming her, and she needed air – and to see the person who always managed to calm her down. Nicky walked determinedly down the street, watching as the City That Never Sleeps prepared for another busy day. Lorna would be up by now – her family liked breakfast together before her mom headed out for work, and Lorna never really liked sleeping in anyway.

Nicky had barely moved her hand away from the door when it opened, revealing Ms Morello, smiling in her work uniform. "Nicky! Come in. Lorna's just finishing breakfast," she said with a smile. "I'll be leaving soon, but you can stay as long as you want. I'm sure Franny will make you something to eat if you wanted."

"No thanks, Mrs Morello." Nicky says politely, though it's a strain. She just wants to see Lorna. "I can't stay long anyways." Ms Morello steps aside to let her past, closing the door behind her.

"Is that so?" Ms Morello asks, coming into the kitchen where Lorna sat just behind Nicky. "Well, you're always welcome here. Then she adds stiffly, "But I understand why you don't come over more often. I know what your mother thinks. It's bound to make an impression."

Nicky tinges pink at her words, knowing full well that Marka didn't mince her words when it came to things she felt were below her. She shrugs her shoulders at Ms Morello, and Lorna interrupts, giggling. "I never take any notice of you when you tell me to clean up." She smiles again and turns to face Nicky. Her giggles cease when she sees her, her expression changing to a frown and the worry easily evident on her usually pretty features. "Isn't Red coming today? Won't she be wondering where you are?"

"Marka's head is so far up her ass she doesn't know night from day," Nicky says dismissively with a wave of her hand to illustrate her point further. "I rarely listen. I would encourage you to do the same." Nicky then turns her attention to Lorna. "Probably."

Lorna's mother stares for a moment before bursting out in laughter. "You're a funny kid." Nicky offers a tight smile, but doesn't pass comment. Lorna stands, and quickly kisses her mother's cheek.

"I'll see you later. Have a good day," Lorna says distractedly. "Come on, Nicky. Let's go to my room." Lorna's hand catches Nicky's and she leads her to her bedroom whilst Nicky blindly follows as if she hasn't been there a thousand times before. They sit on the bed, facing each other but clearly in two very different places mentally. Lorna speaks first, clearing her throat needlessly to enter into a conversation. "I didn't expect to see you this morning."

"No," Nicky agrees. "I didn't plan on coming. I wasn't that far away this morning."

"That was my next question," Lorna replies. "Where did you stay? And what happened?" Lorna's own mind cast back to when Nicky climbed in through her window. Her mother still didn't know about that. Her voice quietens, and her tone is softer, "Hey, are you alright?"

Nicky shrugs. "Just my mom and Paolo arguing again. No big deal."

"It's more than that." Lorna presses on. "Come on. You can trust me; you know that, right? You can always trust me." Lorna takes Nicky's hand. Hands were safe. You could yank them away without too much hassle and yet it could be so reassuring when someone grasped your fingers in theirs. Lorna did what she always did around Nicky; she waited until she was ready, tracing small intricate patterns into her palm whilst she did so.

"I know." Nicky says finally. She doesn't know why she said it. Mostly to fill the silence that haunted her. She bites her lip. "What about Red?"

"What about her?" Lorna asks, looking up from their hands. Her red nails paused mid-air, a sharp contrast to Nicky's stubby bitten fingernails covered in chipped electric blue polish. "I've only met her once, you know that."

"Yeah, well. First impressions are everything, right?" Nicky retorts. "Do I trust her?" Lorna holds Nicky's hand tighter, knowing how much it took for Nicky to ask that question, and stares at her for a moment before biting her lip.

"I don't know," she answers truthfully. "But that's the thing about trust, isn't it? You never do." She raises her eyebrows. "Why?"

Nicky exhales like it's painful to do so. "She makes me feel like I can." Nicky thinks back, and frowns. "I forgot my book."

Lorna's brow creases in confusion. "Your book?" Nicky's mouth always worked at a million miles an hour. When you weren't in the loop, it was increasingly difficult to follow what she was saying all of the time. Still, she was pleased she was focussed on something.

Nicky looks up guiltily, wondering if it was right to be questioning Galina's intentions when she had never given her a reason to, quite the opposite. "Galina bought it for me."

"Well, where is it?" Lorna asks. "We can go get it. I'm not doing anything." Nicky glances up.

"It's at Red's house."

"Oh." Lorna replies. She considers for a moment. "Where is Red?"

"At my house." She pauses. "I think."

"Do you think we should go there?" Lorna asks. It's like she's talking to a child smaller than her, coaxing the right responses out of her with careful words. Nicky nods reluctantly. "Let's go then," she says, offering Nicky a small smile. Nicky smiles back, shaking her head. If anyone could get her to do something, it was Lorna.

She stands and brushes off her hands before reaching out for Lorna's hand. "Let's go."

 **Please tell me what you think by leaving a review. I hope you liked the chapter, and tell me what you'd like to see next. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Nicky rubs her eyes tiredly as Lorna drags her through the street to her house, her hair billowing gently. As they get to her door, Nicky pauses. "You don't have to come with me." Nicky says, her voice wavering despite her attempts to sound sure. "I'll be fine on my own."

Lorna raises her eyebrows, offering Nicky a small knowing smile. "I'm not walking all the way back to my house in this heat," Lorna says, humoring Nicky. She nods encouragingly at the door. "Go on." Nicky grumbles, her eyes flickering back to Lorna's nervously as she twists the door handle. As she does so, she's greeted by Marka, her hand on the handle on the other side. Marka jumps back guiltily as she's face to face with her daughter.

"Nicole," she says evenly, grappling for the right words to say. When none come to mind, she shakes her head in a fluster and flushes. "Mrs Reznikov told me you weren't in bed." Nicky's eyes scan the room as she meets Red's eyes behind Marka. Unlike her mother's, Galina's eyes are full of concern as she perches on the kitchen stool. "I was going to be late for work," she tries to explain her nonchalance about her daughter being missing, but trails off as she notes the emptiness of her words, the lack of sincerity in her tone. "I was worried."

Nicky nods, not quite meeting Marka's eye. She knew by now the only thing Marka was worried about was the threat of being late to work, and she was used to being brushed off. It stung, but it was a muted pain now, like a dull toothache that resurfaced every now and again. "Don't let me stop you," Nicky remarks. She says nothing else as she pushes past Marka. Lorna frowns as she watches Marka step out of the door, not bothering to bridge the gap between her and her daughter. Marka is so focussed on getting to work that she doesn't even comment on Lorna's existence. Nicky blows her hair out of her eyes and closes the door behind Marka, a symbol for much more than simply a door between them. She glances at Lorna, who watches her with a mixture of concern and disdain. Nicky raises her eyebrows. "There you go, kid." Nicky sighs. "That's what I didn't want you to see."

For the first time since Nicky stepped through the door, Galina stands. "Nicky," she breathes. "I was so worried." Unlike Marka's words, which fell flat and unfeeling by Nicky's feet, Galina's words bit at her core and she cringes. Nicky shakes her head and groans, a guttural sound escaping from her lips.

"Eh, you don't have to worry about me." Nicky waves her hand, her eyes boring into Galina's, "It's not your job." And then she laughs at the irony, realizing that actually, that was exactly her job. Because her mother couldn't be bothered. Galina doesn't laugh, her eyes still filled with pity and her emotions feeling frayed. Lorna watches her.

" _Malyshka,"_ Red says, sounding upset, but resigned. She reaches for her bag, and for a moment, Nicky wonders if she's about to walk out of the front door. She pulls something from her bag and holds it out for Nicky. "I brought your book." Nicky reaches for it, pulling the book to her chest like a comfort blanket that she never had as a little girl. Lorna smiles. She knew that Nicky wasn't used to people thinking of her. Small gestures like this meant a lot to her. "I care" comes in many forms, and Galina bringing the book Nicky had clearly been thinking about was a significant way of proving this; one Marka had never managed to achieve.

"Yes," Lorna says suddenly, interrupting the conversation. Galina glances at Lorna, her face a picture of confusion. Lorna beams at Galina, laughing like she's completely lost it, and then grins at Nicky. Her happiness is out of place in the somber kitchen, and Nicky's eyebrows knit together. " _Yes._ " Lorna repeats, widening her eyes and expecting Nicky to understand. "To your question from earlier."

Nicky thinks back, their conversation far from her mind as she stands in her kitchen. And then she remembers. "Oh." Nicky glances at Lorna, her slouching shoulders rising slightly as she smiles. "You think so?" Galina feels as if she's intruding on a private moment. But then Nicky turns to her, and quickly and shyly kisses her cheek. Her cheeks turn pink as she does so, and she mumbles a thank you. "I was looking for that book earlier."

"Oh, _malyshka_." Red smiles at Lorna as she wonders what just happened, squeezing Nicky's shoulder reassuringly. "You don't have to thank me." She shakes her head at herself, feeling the tears welling in her eyes. Her eyes sparkle with both tears and happiness. She smiles at Nicky. "Just you…that's enough." She adds this for good measure, not knowing what impact Marka's words and quick departure had had on the young girl. She pushes Nicky's hair back out of her eyes. "Now…what do you want to do today? The world is your oyster…"

Lorna wrinkles her nose. "God, I hate seafood. Can't the world be our pop-tart?" Nicky barks out a laugh at this, raising an eyebrow at Lorna.

"What, disappointing and filled with crap?" Nicky chuckles again and hits Lorna's arm gently as she frowns. "I guess you're right, kid."

"No," Lorna shakes her head, her curls bouncing around her shoulders. "Sweet and colorful." Galina rolls her eyes at Nicky's cynicism, wise (or pessimistic) beyond her years, and puts an arm around Lorna.

"The world can be whatever you want it to be, no?" Galina smiles sweetly at Lorna, who sticks her tongue out at Nicky. "But only if you make it that way," Galina warns, glancing out of the window. "Look at the sun shining."

Nicky shrugs her shoulders. "I've never been a fan of the sun." She wrinkles her nose, staring out of the window. "It's too hot."

Galina's eyes sparkle as she thinks up what they could do for the day. It was too hot to bake, and she felt as if everyone needed to get some frustration out, so she had the perfect plan. "Wait here," she tells the girls as they eye her up suspiciously. "I'll be back very soon."

As Galina leaves, Lorna turns to face Nicky with a big, goofy smile on her face. She smacks her hand against Nicky's leg, giggling. "I'm proud of you." Lorna says as Nicky blushes. "Really," Lorna insists, "I know your mom must have-"

With that, Nicky prickled with irritation. " _Marka."_ Nicky corrects. Lorna smiles apologetically, nodding her head emphatically.

"I know that couldn't have been easy," Lorna laments. "But Red? She's nice. Really nice," Lorna gushes, her eyes widening. "I really think she's good for you." Lorna pulls a face, remembering Nicky's previous nanny. "Unlike Paloma."

Nicky shrugs her shoulders. "She was just used to little kids." She waves a hand on the air, smirking. "I got a raised allowance because of her."

"Why?" Lorna gasps. Nicky had been nothing but trouble for Paloma, resulting in many heated conversations between her and Ms Nichols, who pleaded with her to stay "just one more week" every week.

"Marka was bribing me to be good," Nicky rolls her eyes. "It didn't work but she's forgotten that she raised it."

"I don't even get an allowance." Lorna pouts. "My mom says my allowance is her patience." Nicky giggles at that, knowing how exasperated Mrs Morello could get because of her youngest, who chattered incessantly and could be a bit overbearing. But Nicky didn't mind it.

Their conversation lulls to an end when the door opens, revealing a grinning Galina, clutching a paper grocery bag. Immediately, Nicky and Lorna are on their feet, badgering Galina to see what she's got like moths to a flame. Galina pulls out a bag of balloons, and the two girls frown in confusion.

"Balloons?" Nicky questioned. She grasps the packet in her hand, turning it over and over as if like Cinderella's pumpkin it was going to transform into something new.

"A water fight!" Galina says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "It's a lovely day for a water fight. And Lorna," Red says, her accent making the name roll off her tongue easily, "You can get Nicky back for making fun of you," she offers, her voice rising with an inflection that was an attempt to pique their interests. "Come on, girls." She takes a balloon, fills it up from the faucet carefully and ties it. And then she aims. "Whose curls are going to turn frizzy first?" She moves her hand between her two targets, teasing them both.

Nicky scoffs, and grabs the balloon. "Hers! My hair is natural." Nicky quickly aims and chucks the balloon so that it bursts just below Lorna's face, which turns into a glower as soon as the cold water hits her.

"Nicky!" Galina says, trying not to laugh. "Not in the kitchen! Outside," she says, filling up a bowl with the other balloons she filled. She hands Lorna a balloon, and the two girls run outside. With her charges occupied, and her back aching, Galina takes a seat, her expression smug as she sits down with her coffee to watch the girls from the window. Galina glances at the puddle on the floor, but decides to leave it for now.

It's an hour before the two girls reappear inside the house, drenched from head to toe and giggling through their shivers. Galina hands them both a towel, smiling at them both. "Have fun?" She says smugly as the girls stare at her, nodding enthusiastically. Lorna smiles at Galina as she dries her hair.

"Thanks for today, Mrs Reznikov!" Lorna says. She gives Nicky a quick hug. "I've gotta go home – my mom will be back from work soon. But thanks again." She grins at them both and then leaves, leaving Nicky and Red alone once again. Red laughs softly at Nicky's hair, which drips to the floor. Galina rises to a stand and starts towards Nicky, but loses her footing on the wet tiles from the first water balloon. Nicky's eyes widen as she watches the scene unfold, unable to do anything to stop it. Galina hits the floor with a heavy thud, her back making an awful cracking sound. A strangled noise escapes from her throat, and she yells Russian words that Nicky doesn't understand, but thinks she might know what they are.

"Red!" Nicky gasps, falling to her knees next to Galina. She puts her hand on Galina's shoulder, a feeble attempt at comfort. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Nicky puts her hand under Galina's back and helps heave her up. Galina's face is screwed up in pain, her walk more of a hobble as Nicky guides her to the couch in the lounge, setting her down gently.

"I'm alright, _malyshka,"_ Red says through gritted teeth. "It wasn't your fault." She exhales heavily through her nose, the pain in her back immense. Instead of the pain, Red focusses on Nicky, whose eyes are frantic and hands shaking. "I'm okay," she repeats. "Come, sit with me."

Nicky perches on the end of the couch gently, trying not to disturb Galina at all. Nicky throws a blanket over Galina, who smiles at the gesture. Nicky's idea of comfort mainly derives from Galina's actions, and so her first thought is to grab the book of fairy tales that sits next to Galina. "Close your eyes," Nicky murmurs as she opens the page. " _There was once a prince who married a most beautiful princess…"_

Galina smiles as Nicky reads. For the first time she's seeing the impact of her gesture this morning by bringing the book. Galina listens carefully as Nicky reads the full story, her words clear and enunciated. Once she was finished, Nicky looks up with a small smile. "Finished."

"Thank you, _malyshka,"_ Galina says, patting Nicky's hand. She smiles at the girl and pushes her hair back from her eyes. "That was very nice."

Nicky looks at Galina with a worried expression. "Are you sure you're okay? I really thought you'd hurt yourself…I mean, your back is already bad…you aren't leaving, are you?" Nicky rambles, aware of how desperate she sounded but not caring enough to stem her words that flowed like water from a faucet. Galina smiles and shakes her head.

"No, Nicky." She strokes Nicky's hand with her thumb, looking at her sincerely. "I won't be leaving you. I don't think there's anything on this earth that could make me want to leave you."

Nicky smiles shyly. "You promise?"

"I promise."

 **Promises are made to be broken, right..? ;)  
I hope you enjoyed the chapter…I wrote it whilst looking out over some mountains…very pretty. :) Please tell me what you think in a review, I really appreciate them. :) Also tell me what you'd like to see of course.**


	10. Chapter 10

Galina leans against the shopping cart as she strolls through the store, her eyes flickering up to Nicky every so often. She holds up a navy sweater with an anchor on the front, her eyebrows raising hopefully. "This one's nice," she offers. She resists the urge to look at the price tag before holding it up, a reflex that she's learnt to suppress. In this part of town, Galina was sure even the thrift stores would be out of her price range.

Nicky shrugs noncommittally, not even bothering to glance up. "It's fine," she repeats once again, running her hands through the racks of clothes. Galina sighs at her, placing the sweater back on the rack whilst the sales assistant dithers nearby, anxious to ring up their items. Ms Nichols had told Galina firmly that she expected Nicky to have a whole new fall wardrobe by the time she finished work, and had told her the brands she expected these items to come from. "Really," she says unconvincingly as Galina stares, her eyes cutting through Nicky like a knife.

Galina smiles charmingly at the sales assistant, pushing the cart towards her. "Can you hold these items for us? We'll be back." Without waiting for a response, Galina takes Nicky's arm and pulls her out into the open mall, her eyes full of concern. Though it's early for lunch, she sits down at a small diner in the food court, sliding them both into a small, brightly colored booth that shielded them from others around them. Red smiles at the waitress who stands over them donned in a bright blue uniform and an obligatory smile plastered on her face as she flips to a blank page in her notebook.

"What can I get for you ladies today?" The waitress asks. Nicky doesn't look up, instead choosing to trace small patterns in the sugar she spilled out onto the sticky table with her pinky finger. Galina smiles apologetically.

"We'll take two strawberry milkshakes, please." she says, closing the menu and handing it to the waitress. She waits a moment for the waitress to leave before turning her full attention to Nicky, her eyes creasing in confusion. "Nicky," she says softly.

Nicky finally looks up, her expression a blank canvas. "Hmm?" Nicky asks, brushing the sugar from her hands and sweeping it off of the table.

"Nicky, you've been off with me all day." Galina combs through her memory to see what she could have possibly done to offend the young girl, but finding nothing. It stumped her, but also left her feeling vulnerable. People shouldn't be able to make her feel this way, she reminds herself, shaking her head minutely. "Tell me what's the matter. You're so lucky to be able to go shopping for all of these lovely clothes for back to school…" As she says the words, it clicks in her mind. "School," Galina says finally with a sigh.

She _had_ noticed over the past few weeks that school was a sore subject for the preteen, but had brushed it off every time. Now she had a sulking Nicky sat in front of her, her shoulders slumping dejectedly. Even her hair looked droopy, Galina notices, as she twirls a strand in her fingers. The summer had passed in a blur, and the blissful vacation was coming to an end, the last few days slipping through their fingers like sand in an hourglass.

Nicky heaves a sigh. Their conversation comes to a pause as the waitress places down their milkshakes. Nicky immediately takes a sip, her lips placated now they've been excused from talking for a moment. Galina watches with a piqued interest. Usually, Nicky never stops talking. This break in her usual routine told Galina all she needed to know. "Nicky, you need clothes for school. Marka has made that _perfectly_ clear," she finishes bitterly. Nicky bites back a sarcastic response.

"I know," she whispers, staring intensely into a strawberry abyss inside her glass instead of Galina's eyes. "I just…I don't like thinking about going back to school." Nicky rubs the back of her neck uncomfortably as Galina listens patiently, her brow knitting together. "We…I had a good summer, you know?"

Galina smiles at Nicky. Her summer had been hectic and shitty and a completely messed up scenario. Moving from her home to an awful town, leaving her business and boys behind, and having to get a job without any previous experience wouldn't usually be classed as "good" but somehow the two had made it work. Three months of intense bonding had ensured their bond was strong enough for Nicky to trust her now, and Galina thanked God for that fact, if he had given her nothing else in this world aside from that. "The end of summer doesn't mean the end of this," Galina confirms, gesturing between the two of them. Nicky nods, seemingly happy enough at that answer, but the frown doesn't disappear from her face.

"The kids don't like me," Nicky says quietly. "And Marka doesn't, either, not really…it's been nice having you and Lorna all summer. Now I don't have you and I don't have Lorna. I have a stupid name brand sweater for a friend, and one that could pay a month's rent for someone."

 _Someone like me._ Galina laughs despite the pity she felt. So Nicky had noticed her mother's ludicrously pretentious standards and had similar thoughts about them. How could she have not? _The girl doesn't miss anything,_ Galina thinks. " _Malyshka,_ " Galina sighs, patting Nicky's hand comfortingly, "I'll always be there at the end of the day. And Lorna will see you at lunch," she offers, trying to sweeten the deal a little. "But cheer up. Not everything is as bad as you think." Nicky sighs, still moping, and puts her chin on her hands, raising her eyebrows in doubt. "Well," Galina relents. "Things could always be worse."

Nicky throws the plastic bags filled with clothes, accessories and shoes down by the front door, kicks off her shoes, and flops down onto the sofa heavily. The shopping trip had taken much longer than either of them had anticipated and the day outside had turned into a cool dusky evening. The last Saturday before school started again was almost over, and Nicky yawns as Galina fixes a snack for her.

Galina places the grilled cheese sandwich in front of Nicky, sliding the plate on the coffee table. Nicky watches but doesn't make an attempt to move, her legs tired from walking and her arms tired from swinging them by her side when she was bored. Galina's eyebrows raise. "I'm used to boys who devour everything in sight," she explains, taking half of the sandwich and eating a bite herself. "At least eat half."

Nicky half-heartedly picks at the sandwich but eventually Galina gives in and offers Nicky a small smile. "Marka will be home soon," she notes. Nicky nods, coming to a stand, her hand once again reaching up to cover her yawning mouth. "And you look beat."

Nicky shrugs. "I'm okay," she says, stifling a yawn. Galina laughs. Nicky grins and finally concedes. "I'm a little tired."

"Come on," Galina smiles, putting her arm around Nicky and leading her to her room. "Get changed and I'll read you another chapter." As Nicky changes into her pajamas, Galina flicks through the book. When Nicky re-emerges from the bathroom, she pats the bed. Nicky climbs in, her hair fanning out on the pillow. Galina can't help her hand reaching up to smooth her forehead. It's almost a reflex, and she wonders if Marka's fingers had ever trailed along her daughter's forehead in such a gesture. She doubted it. Nicky's eyes close as she relaxed and Galina smiled down at her in the soft half-light.

She opens the book to the first page, the pages new and crisp. _"Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!"_

Nicky opens her eyes and laughs. "That's not a fairy-tale," she insists, squinting down at the title. "That's for little kids. They read that to us on our first day of school."

"Well, it's your first day soon, isn't it?" Galina smiles. Nicky doesn't argue, instead choosing to close her eyes once again, so Galina continues. _"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose…"_

In the morning, Galina busied herself with preparing breakfast for Nicky. It was just her luck that the morning she decided to come by early was the morning Marka decided to take off from work. She sighed as she whisked the pancake batter, hearing Marka waking up Nicky from her much needed slumber. Galina would usually leave her until breakfast was almost ready, when she'd call her and let her wake herself up in peace.

Now, a frazzled, heckled Nicky stomped downstairs, trying to ignore her mother behind her. Galina turned to the frying pan in an attempt to hide her smirk, ladling some batter in and letting the routine of baking calm her nerves. "Mrs Nichols, would you like some breakfast?" Galina offers, though it hurts to even smile at the wretched woman.

As soon as Galina put the plate down, Nicky dug into her own pancakes, smearing velvety maple syrup over her plate. Marka wrinkles her nose, her head shaking. "No, thank you. I don't want to get fat." Nicky raises her eyebrows at Marka, slightly offended at the remark, but not enough to stop eating. Galina offers her a small, sly smile as if telling her she has an ally in the room. Nicky rolls her eyes back, though Galina isn't sure if she believes the whole "I don't care" act. "I'll take some chopped up fruit, though."

"Of course." Galina slams down the knife a little too hard on the chopping board and Nicky stifles a giggle. "Here," Galina says, placing the bowl down in front of Ms Nichols. Mother and daughter couldn't be less similar as Nicky wolfs down her pancakes whilst Marka simply picks at her blueberries and apple.

Once Ms Nichols had decided that her morning off was better used at the gym, Nicky and Galina relaxed a little. "So, Red," Nicky starts, hopping off from the kitchen stool. "What's the plan for today?"

"Getting ready for school," Galina replies. Nicky groans. "Ah ah, you haven't even heard it yet! You think the kids don't like you?" Nicky nods, her cheeks pink, and wonders why Galina asked. "Well, when my boys were in school, they were always popular."

"They were?" Nicky asks. Galina nods.

"Not for their personalities or looks – they took after their father in that regard," she sighs, rolling her eyes and laughing. "But kids loved the treats they'd bring in. Cookies, cakes, even Tula gingerbread." She winks at Nicky. "People don't often care about who you are. When they do, like Lorna, you keep hold of them. But to make your life more bearable, there's nothing wrong with a little bribery."

Nicky grins. "You know everything."

Galina shrugs, a smile plastered on her own face. "You could say so."

Hours later, Nicky's backpack is filled with boxes of cakes, cookies and brownies. Galina smiles as she helps her pack in the rest of her books, pencil case and notepads. It's rather heavy when they've finished, but Nicky's face looks brighter and Galina can't help but smile at the newfound hopefulness on her girl's face. "I told you I would make things better," Galina says smugly.

"Yeah, well," Nicky says, her shoulders shrugging, "Not everyone keeps to their word." Galina smiles at Nicky.

" _Malyshka,_ I am not everyone." Galina says, putting her arms around Nicky. "Now, I don't know what Marka wants to do now summer is over," she admits, wondering herself what her work status now was. "But whatever she decides, I'll be there on Monday to walk you to school. And I'll be there waiting for you when you're finished, ready to hear about your day." Galina only hoped Nicky would believe her.

To her relief, Nicky smiles. "I know you will."

 **Okay, I hope you liked the chapter! I'm planning on skipping ahead with this story, because I do actually have a plan for it, but would you like to see Nicky's first day? I'm not sure yet. I think it could be cool with Lorna and then some fluff with Red…not sure. Tell me what you think in a review. Thanks for all your reviews last chapter, they're very appreciated. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

"No." Nicky stood firm in her place across the room from Marka. "You aren't doing this." Her stance was defensive, her eyes narrowed and mouth in a hard line. "If you do this, I swear to God, Marka-"

"I am your mother," Marka says irritably. "Don't call me Marka. And I'll do whatever I like with the money I make. You never even wanted Paloma around, what makes this one any different?" _Well, she actually cares about me,_ Nicky thinks bitterly. "As much as you don't believe me, I only want the best for you." Marka frowns for a moment before sighing. Suddenly, she seems much more vulnerable and Nicky watches silently. "I'm trying, Nicole," she whispers, her voice breaking. "I just don't know what to do." She bites her lip and absently runs her hand down her arm in thought. Nicky doesn't know if she's talking about Red, or being a mother in general. She suspects the latter. Finally, Ms Nichols relents. "Fine. If Mrs Reznikov means this much to you…if she makes you happy, then she can stay."

Nicky doesn't know what to say, so she doesn't say anything at all. Without saying anything else, Marka leaves her daughter alone, leaving for work just to get out of the house. Nicky sighs. She would never be enough for Marka and as much as Nicky didn't want to sound anything like her mother, Marka could never be enough for her. She sits down heavily on the sofa, her foot tapping against the carpet. Her first day of school would start in a few hours, and her stomach was churning as she thought about it.

The door opens without Nicky realizing it, and Galina is calling out her name. Nicky jumps at the sudden sound, and looks up. Galina looks puzzled and sits down next to Nicky. "I saw Marka outside." Nicky doesn't react to this news. She's past caring and her mind is on other matters. Galina frowns and continues, "She gave me a pay rise."

Nicky rolls her eyes. _Typical Marka._ Her eyes are narrowed but she nods. "Good," Nicky says. She would have been annoyed, but how could she be? It was only Galina benefitting from her mother's awful habit of throwing money at things. If it made Red's life easier, then who was she to complain?

Galina smiles and shakes her head. "But today isn't about her, _malyshka,"_ she says brightly, her eyes sparkling. She adjusts Nicky's collar and smooths a stray hair. "You look so cute." Her navy sweater gave a contrast to her light hair and stormy but curious eyes. The white anchor on the sweater made it appear more childlike and made Nicky look more at ease than she actually was. "It'll be okay, I promise."

"You should stop promising things that you can't guarantee." Nicky snaps. Galina doesn't let it bother her, instead of reacting choosing to hand Nicky her backpack.

"I know everything, remember?" Galina teases. Even her snappiness couldn't deter Galina. Nicky manages a small smile. It's enough for Red. Anything Nicky can offer is always enough for Red.

Galina watches anxiously as Nicky forges a path through the crowds of schoolchildren like a mother bird watching her baby fall from the nest. She waves a cheery goodbye to the girl as she heads into class, lagging behind the teacher. Galina stands, one hand on the back of her neck, one hand on her back, for longer than she ever would admit, just staring into the empty windows. If there was anything she hated to be, it was useless. With a sigh, Galina decides to find something to comfort Nicky if her day wasn't as she hoped.

On the inside of the building, Nicky scratched at her fingernails as a nervous habit. She wished she had Lorna with her to hold her hand and comfort her, as much as she pretended not to like that kind of thing. Or, shamefully enough, she wished she had Galina there just to ease her discomfort. Her very presence was calming.

She answered her name clearly during the roll call, making sure not to stumble over her words. During class, she took notes but didn't say much to the other kids, who squinted at the board with a careful consideration. It was at recess that Nicky smiled for the first time that day.

"Lorna!" Nicky called across the school yard as she saw the brunette walking aimlessly. She pressed her face against the metal fence, her fingers gripping the chain-link desperately.

"Hey, Nicky!"

The girls watched each other from either side of the street. There had been a lot of controversy when the state decided to build the now crumbling building of the "rough" school for the poorer kids in town across from the highly sought after very expensive school Nicky attended, but Nicky silently thanked whoever had decided to make it happen. Seeing Lorna was the only thing that had made her not want to throw up so far this day. Lorna waves maniacally at Nicky, who hangs slightly back against the fence.

"Meet me here at lunch?" Nicky asks. Her feet kick in the dirt, scuffing the top of her brand new boots carelessly.

Lorna nods quickly, her curls bouncing at her shoulders. She grins. "Of course! Alex will come, too." The girl next to Lorna, standing awkwardly and staring at Nicky, waves. Nicky raises her eyebrows and gives a little wave back though she's a little off put by Lorna's new friend while she stands alone. She doesn't have any time to dwell on it as the bell rings and she has to go back inside, but Lorna's encouraging smile as she glances back gives her something to hang onto.

The day passes slowly but lunch gives Nicky something to look forward to. Before going outside, she dawdles to the front of the lunch line, where she mumbles her order to the lunch lady. "I'll have the chicken, please," she says, though it looks questionable. The lunch lady nods quickly, loading her tray with food. She places a drink down on the tray with a smile. "Thanks…" Nicky squints at her nametag. "Thanks, Norma."

Norma smiles at Nicky, a beaming smile. She pats Nicky's hand comfortingly and stares into her eyes. Nicky squirms under her gaze uncomfortably but smiles back. At least someone in the school had time for her. Even her teacher had brushed her off earlier in the day, insisting that "silence was golden" and instructing Nicky to take her seat. The lunch lady takes a deep breath as she stares at Nicky. "I-I-I-" Norma stutters, the worry on her face growing with every syllable. Nicky frowns for a moment, concerned, before Norma finishes. "I-it gets better."

After poking at her chicken for a few minutes, Nicky gives Norma a small wave as she exits the cafeteria. On the outside, she pushes the gate that lets her exit the school and is surprised to see it open without a fight. Before anyone can stop her, her nose is pressed against the chain link fence of Lorna's school. Her eyes scan for Lorna's face but she sees nothing. Her stomach drops and her brow knits together in confusion as Lorna is nowhere to be found. With a final glance outside, she heads back inside, her mind whirling in confusion. Lorna had promised. Anger begins to bubble up inside of Nicky as she storms back into the cafeteria, but her main focus is on the betrayal she feels.

As she slams down at a table, ignoring glares from the other kids, she's joined once again by Norma, who gives her a knowing look and sits across from her. Norma shrugs and smiles, and Nicky takes this as a cue to explain. She glances over at the other kids. "My friend bailed on me." Nicky says, the anger prickling at her again.

Norma again shrugs, but Nicky can sense that it's not through carelessness. She makes a scale with her hands and weighs up the scenario, as if to tell Nicky that it's not the end of the world. As if there's a million reasons why this could have happened. Nicky nods absently. "I guess so." She shakes her head to stop herself from feeling so upset. "It sucks being alone."

Norma gives Nicky a wry smile. Nicky backtracks, her mouth running a mile a minute. "I didn't mean it that way." She sighs and then remembers what Galina told her, her mouth pursing. From her backpack she pulls out a picnic of cookies and cakes. "Here," Nicky says generously. "I'm supposed to share them with a new friend. "I'm Nicky." Norma takes a cookie and smiles. Her finger points to her nametag. Nicky smiles back. "I know."

At the end of the day, just like she said she would be, Galina is waiting at the front doors. Her face is chewed up with worry and she watches anxiously, her neck straining to see past the hordes of children. When she sees Nicky stomping down the steps, her face relaxes and she waits for her girl with a smile on her face. As soon as they're in touching distance, Galina squeezes Nicky's shoulder. "How'd your first day go, _malyshka?"_ Red asks excitedly.

"Lorna ditched me." The words tumble out of Nicky's mouth before she can stop them and she frowns. "The other kids still don't like me." Nicky thinks back and sighs again. "I made one friend." At this, Galina lights up. She smiles broadly and gestures for Nicky to go on. "Her name is Norma. She's the lunch lady and she's mute. Well, almost."

Galina bursts out laughing as they start to walk back. "I'm sorry," she chuckles, "It's just the thought of you with your motor mouth talking the ears off of a mute person…" Galina laughs again, then smiles at Nicky. "A friend is a friend, _milaya."_

Nicky tinges pink but giggles too. "She's a very good listener."

"I'll bet." Galina pauses for a moment. "What happened with Lorna?" Unlike any talk she'd ever had with Marka, Red sounded genuinely interested. Her tone indicated that she was serious and she listened carefully as Nicky explained. "Well," she says, logical as always, and shrugging, "Maybe something came up." Nicky considers for a moment before shrugging herself.

"Maybe," she says doubtfully.

In the time it took them to walk back to Nicky's house, after an ice-cream stop (which Galina had planned for if her day didn't go so well), Lorna was sitting on the front steps, her head in her hands. When she sees Nicky, she instantly jumps up with a smile. "Nicky! How'd your first day go?"

Nicky frowns and hangs back. "It was good until I was ditched," she says coldly, not hugging Lorna back as she wraps her arms around Nicky. Lorna sighs.

"I'm so sorry about that," she says honestly, her brow creasing. "I got detention!"

Galina opens up the door and ushers the girls inside as they talk. "You two go upstairs," she says, "I'll call you when dinner is ready." She gives Nicky a supportive smile but also raises her eyebrows. The message is clear – _be nice._

Nicky slams her bedroom door behind her. "Did you have fun with your new friend?" At first, Lorna is confused, her eyes crinkling. " _Alex?"_

"Oh," Lorna says. She giggles. "Alex is fun."

"I'm sure she is," Nicky says bitterly. "If she's so fun, then why are you here? Go be with Alex."

"Nicky, don't be like this.." Lorna reaches out for Nicky's hand but she yanks it back, her eyes hardening. "I wasn't with Alex. I was in detention."

"For what?" Nicky finally relents a little and Lorna explains, close to giggling.

"For talking in class," she explains with a roll of her eyes. "The teacher doesn't like me. But Nicky, you should know that. I'm not ever going to ditch you, I promise. Even when I'm mad at you, like now, for thinking I would, honestly, I would never! We're gonna be best friends forever, I promise…. Maybe when we're older we can be roommates and-"

Before either one of them knows what's going on, Nicky's lips touch Lorna's and her words cease. Half of Nicky is pleased that Lorna has finally stopped talking, but the other half is screaming at her to stop. Lorna's own thoughts are conflicting and she pushes Nicky back gently, her eyes staring into Nicky's brown irises. Both of their hearts pound and Nicky's hands shake as she plays with her fingers. Her fingers reach up to touch her own lips and her brow creases.

"I'm sorry," Nicky whispers, though she's not and she doesn't know why she's saying that instead of what she's really thinking. Lorna scrambles to her feet, her head shaking as she finally realizes what's really happened.

"It's fine," she says quickly. She shakes her head again and scrapes her hair back. "I'll – I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" The door opens and she's flying down the stairs with Nicky at her heels.

"Lorna, wait-" Before Nicky can finish, the door is slammed in her face, just like always, and she stumbles, confused, into the kitchen.

Galina smiles pitifully. "You didn't make up?" She comes to a stand and gathers Nicky's hair into her hands. "I'm sure you'll be fine by the morning."

"No," Nicky says tearfully, her eyes blinking hard. "I think I really upset her." She pauses. "I did something bad," Nicky whispers as Red plays with her hair. Her mind whirls as she searches for the right words, because "bad" doesn't sound right for something that felt so right. "Something I'm not supposed to do. I'm sorry," she repeats.

"What is it?" Galina turns Nicky's face so they're facing each other and her eyes search Nicky's for any sign of something wrong. Nicky frowns at Galina.

"I kissed her," Nicky says, her face confused. Galina nods, but doesn't say anything. Nicky was fragile and anything she said would have a huge impact. As she stares down at her, she wonders if silence is the worst thing she can offer. As she struggles with her words, she twists little strands of hair around her fingers. Finally, she smiles.

"You kissed her." Galina nods. "You don't have to apologise for that. For being you. You kissed a pretty girl. You are you and there's no-one else you should want to be." Galina thumbs away a tear on Nicky's face, giving Nicky another smile. "Just be you, Nicky. It's enough." This time, Nicky manages a teary smile back.

It's enough for Galina. It's always enough.

 **Hey! I'm back again. I spent quite a long time on this one and I know it's a bit jumpy but I hope you like it nonetheless. Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

"Friday was always my favorite day of the week when I was a girl," Galina admits as she walks with Nicky back home after school. "My mother would always have something delicious waiting for me. I suppose she stuck to what she knew. Like I do. ' _V techeniye drugoy nedeli moy sladkiy',_ that's what she'd say _."_ Nicky glances up at Galina, not understanding the Russian but curious to know the meaning. Galina smiles back. "For another week, my sweet," Galina clarifies.

"And do you have something delicious waiting at home?" Nicky grins cheekily, mostly knowing what Red was going to say already. Red knew she was good at baking and cooking and she wasn't above using it as a bribe or a reward, just as she had when her children were young.

"I might," Galina laughs. As they continue their journey, Red watches Nicky closely. Her heart ached for Nicky, desperately wanting to know what to do for the best. After their conversation that Monday about the kiss, Nicky had ignored it – and Lorna – completely. Every time Galina brought up either subject, Nicky would bat away any interest with a well-timed joke and swift change of subject. Half of the time, by the time Galina had realised what Nicky had done, it was too late to switch back. She only wanted the best for Nicky, and her only friend was being pushed out for something that in Galina's eyes was a little bump in their road.

Galina decides to tempt her luck while Nicky is in a good mood. Her tone is light as she says, sounding uninterested, "Did you see Lorna today?"

Even so, Nicky freezes, her foot hovering over the cracks in the sidewalk she had been skipping over. She shakes her head vehemently, her hair covering her eyes. "No," she says quietly. "I don't think she wants to see me."

Galina rolls her eyes at this, despite empathising with Nicky. "That's bullshit and you know it." She hooks a finger on Nicky's backpack and pulls her back gently. She stops in the street despite the streams of other children filtering past them and faces Nicky. "She's come by six times this week. _Six fucking times!"_ Galina takes a deep breath and heeds Dmitri's warning. She often lost her temper with the ones she loved most and, staring into Nicky's eyes that suddenly widened with worry, she knew she was at danger of doing that now. "I know you're confused," Galina says, shaking her head, "But Lorna misses you, and you miss her. Just let her in and be her friend again. I'm sure Norma's very nice but she's not going to be the one at your birthday party, now is she, _malyshka?"_

Nicky chuckles and shrugs. "I suppose not." Her brow furrows as she stares at Galina. "I do miss her," she admits. "Maybe I'll invite her for next Friday to share whatever you make."

Galina smirks. "You don't need to wait until Friday. I had a feeling you'd change your mind about inviting her round. There is plenty for everyone." Nicky rolls her own eyes but gives Galina a smile that could light up the city at night.

"I love you, you know that?" Nicky laughs. It's only after she says it that she realizes what she's said, and her facial expression drops. Galina's does the opposite and her usually hard eyes soften immediately.

"Oh, Nicky," she says, enveloping Nicky into a hug and planting a kiss on her temple. "I love you, too." She fights the urge to squirm away from Galina's grasp, but without ever wanting to admit it, Nicky thought it was nice to feel safe for once.

Nicky stands in her bedroom, staring out of her window. As she places her backpack on her bedroom floor and removes her coat, she mulls over what she had said outside. Did she love Red? She considered for a moment, her mind drifting to all of the times when the only thing she had wanted was Galina. Downstairs she could hear her bustling about, usually in the kitchen. Nicky lets herself smile as she listens. _Yep,_ Nicky thinks. _I really do love her._

When Nicky descends the stairs, Lorna is sitting in the living room. Nicky raises her eyebrows at Lorna, who stares fixatedly at the TV. Some trashy reality show filled the screen. "Why are you watching that garbage?" Nicky asks. Lorna's head snaps up from the television and she grins. Nicky was finally speaking to her again.

"We don't get this channel," Lorna says, allowing her eyes to quickly flicker back to the TV screen. Nicky clicks off the screen with a tap of a button on the remote. It was nice to see Nicky acting normal again, so Lorna doesn't complain. Nicky was probably right about the show.

"There's a reason for that," Nicky frowns. "Your mom doesn't want your head filled with any other fantasies." Lorna grins, coming to a stand.

"Christopher isn't a fantasy."

Nicky smarts at this, her mouth turning into a snarl as she barks, "Who the hell is Christopher?"

Lorna's eyes widen at Nicky's sudden harsh tone, and Galina enters the room with a weary expression. "Nicky," she says, her own tone harsher than usual. They'd established that they loved each other, and sometimes, tough love was the best kind of love. Nicky's eyes flash to Red and she presses her lips together, exhaling.

"Christopher is a boy in my class," Lorna explains tentatively, hooking her little finger with Nicky's in a gesture of peace. Nicky relaxes slightly, but her palms are too sweaty to want to hold hands and her mind is all over the place. "He's so cute."

Nicky smiles though she feels like she's been punched in the stomach. Faking a smile was easier; it meant nothing to Nicky but everything to Lorna. "I bet he is," Nicky says quietly. She turns to Galina. "So, Red, what's this special Friday treat?"

Galina gives Nicky a sad smile and leads them to the kitchen. "It's Peach Melba," Galina says. "Perfect for the end of summer evenings." Nicky smiles and eats the dessert across from Lorna, who picks at the peaches but doesn't eat the ice-cream. It's clear from her face that she's still bothered by Nicky's outburst and neither Nicky nor Galina knows how to break the tension. When, after five minutes, neither girl says a word to the other, Red stands, her head shaking. "You two need to sort this out."

She quickly exits the room and before Nicky can stop her, though her fingers scrabble for the doorknob, the door locks. "Red!" Nicky pounds on the door. "This is low, even for you!"

Galina supresses a laugh on the other side of the door. Her girl always was prone to dramatics. Lorna frowns at Nicky from the table. "There are worse places you could be, you know." The hurt is evident in her voice and Nicky squeezes her eyes shut. Her mouth opens but she is cut off. "No," Lorna says forcefully. "No sarcastic comment." Lorna makes Nicky face her. "I know you care about me, Nicky. And I know maybe you like me…more than a friend."

"Just don't, okay? Please don't." Nicky shakes her head and pushes Lorna away from her. "I don't need your pity."

"Good," Lorna says snappily. "Because you're sure as hell not getting any. You're acting like a bitch." She takes a deep breath. "I don't care, Nicky. You could like boys or girls, you could want to streak through New York, you could literally do anything you wanted to, but it wouldn't change the fact that I love you." Nicky's eyes soften but she still doesn't give in, doesn't let Lorna wrap her arms around her. "It might be a bit different…to what you want," Lorna says delicately. Truthfully, Nicky doesn't know what she wants. "But I still love you and a kiss won't change that. Okay?"

Lorna had spent a long time that night thinking about their kiss. She went over what had happened over and over. It had felt weird, yes, but the resounding thing in her head was that Nicky's lip balm tasted like strawberries and her shampoo was different than usual.

Nicky takes a deep breath, a fluttery smile appearing on her face. "Okay," she says. Nicky giggles.

"What?" Lorna says, her brow creasing in confusion. Nicky was an enigma a lot of the time.

"You wanna go finish that TV show?" Nicky asks as a peace offering. Lorna laughs back and nods her head enthusiastically.

"I really do."

Later that evening, Nicky and Red watched TV. Red sat on the sofa, her back supported by fluffy pillows propped up at her back, and Nicky leaned against her legs, sitting on the floor. Galina's fingers raked through Nicky's mess of hair and Nicky's glassy eyes stared at the screen, but she wasn't really watching.

"I'm proud of you," Red says absently. "For making up with Lorna." Nicky nods, but still doesn't really pay attention. Her head jolts violently as she fights sleep, every time she comes close to sleep her own reactions waking her up. Galina laughs softly. "Come on, _sonya._ Rest up for the weekend."

As Nicky brushes her teeth and washes her face, Red watches proudly. She had come so far from just the four short months they had spent together. It was difficult to resent a situation that had given her Nicky. Fate had never been on her side, karma didn't ever seem to want to repay her any favors, and so when Nicky had come into her life, it was like all of her previous misgivings would be forgotten.

It was surprising even to Red how quickly they had both taken to each other. Like a duck to water, her grandmother would say. She smiles at Nicky tiredly brushing her teeth. The poor girl needed a break from bad things. First Marka, then Paolo, and now this. To top it all off, she didn't know what she wanted from anyone thanks to her shitty start in life. All the belongings in the world couldn't make up for a little girl who had never known what a mother's love felt like. Galina thanked her lucky stars that Marka hadn't fucked up the girl more. Nicky was the sweetest, sharpest and most endearing child she had ever met. Something in her made Galina sure that they were supposed to be together, that she was supposed to protect her.

Nicky made her way to her bedroom with Galina trailing behind her. She pulls the covers off of her bed and climbs in, too tired to even bother switching her light off and the lamp on. Galina laughs softly and sits beside Nicky on the bed, switching the light off and the lamp on. Nicky smiles sleepily at Galina. "Red?" Nicky asks. She sounds so small and vulnerable that Galina instantly takes her hand and brushes her fingers over Nicky's forehead.

"Yes, _malyshka?"_

"Will you read to me again?" Something about hearing Galina's voice, soft and reassuring, floating through her bedroom as she drifted off to sleep made her feel safe and secure. It was usually a fleeting feeling and the fact that Galina always managed to achieve it always amazed Nicky. Galina laughs softly.

"You never have to ask, Nicky." Galina picked up the book. It was now becoming worn with use and Galina smiled at the thumbed pages. It was almost like when her boys were small. " _Once upon a time there was an old man and his wife, who had no children, no grandchildren at all…"_

When the book was finished, and Nicky's breathing had slowed to a steady, sleepy pace, Galina crept out of the room. She smiles as she wonders how she could possibly live without the girl in there with the wild hair and equally wild ways.

If Red would pray for anything that night, it would be that she would never have to.

 **I hope you enjoy the chapter…everything seems to be going very well, doesn't it? :P  
Tell me anything you'd like to see (though I do have a plan) and also please tell me what you thought of the chapter. Thank you so much for all the reviews, I so appreciate every one of them.**


	13. Chapter 13

"I don't like girls," Lorna insists, her eyelashes fluttering in confusion. "I like _Nicky."_ Alex - sitting across from Lorna in the lunch hall - frowns.

"Nicky _is_ a girl," Alex says, her brow furrowing. "I thought you liked Christopher." Lorna sighs as if Alex is the one being awkward, and shakes her head.

"You don't understand," Lorna's brow furrows and Alex wonders if even Lorna understood what was going on inside her mind; she doubted it very much. "I'm gonna _marry_ Christopher. Then we can have babies and I can make the house beautiful…"

"And where does Nicky fit into this?" Alex interrupts with a smirk. Lorna glances up, her fantasy shattered by Alex's questions. Flustered, she shrugs, and Alex can almost see the cogs in her mind working. _Nicky has to fit in there somewhere,_ Lorna thinks.

"Well," she says finally, smiling, "Christopher will be at work all day. I can spend time with Nicky then. She's my favorite person to be around, anyways." She sounds proud of her solution, though if Alex knew anything true about Nicky from what Lorna had told her, she knew that Nicky would scoff at this plan herself.

"So, you'll spend all day with Nicky, and then you'll kick her out when your husband gets home?" Alex asks. She bites back a laugh and raises her eyebrow at Lorna, who pouts like a little girl with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Don't say it like that." Lorna frowns. She thinks for a moment before starting again. "I mean; Nicky can stay if she wants. I'm sure Christopher won't mind." Lorna beams a smile at Alex. "Nicky is so fun at sleepovers. Sometimes she even lets me paint her nails. Won't let me touch her hair, though.."

Alex's nose wrinkles in amusement and her lips quirk up. "You might as well marry Nicky," she comments casually, taking a sip of her drink.

Lorna gasps, her forehead creasing. She hisses in a stage whisper, her cheeks flushing a bright pink, "I can't marry a _girl!"_

Lorna's over the top reaction almost makes Alex spit out in her drink through laughing, but she holds it back. Lorna's genuinely distressed facial expression makes her rethink for a moment, and she sighs, backtracking. Alex forces a smile for the seemingly ignorant girl.

"I'm sure Christopher won't mind having sleepovers." Alex says. Lorna smiles again, her attention back on her lunch as she pokes at it. Alex watches with a smile on her face, shaking her head. The girl was completely crazy, but there was always something endearing in the craziness that made you crave her company.

Nicky sighs as she watches the clock on the wall of her math classroom, the seconds ticking away oh so slowly. As soon as the bell rings, she packs away her things quickly, throws her backpack on her shoulders and is out of the door ahead of the other kids. Spotting Red leaning against a wall waiting for her, a goofy smile is instantly on her face and she runs over to her.

"Have a good day at school?" Red chuckles. Nicky shrugs nonchalantly, her gaze wandering to the Halloween decorations that have been put up. Red smiles. "My boys always liked Halloween. Are you going Trick or Treating this year, or is that not what the cool kids do these days?"

Nicky shrugs, those brown eyes rolling. "The cool kids aren't as cool as they think." She pauses for a moment. "I've never been Trick or Treating, so I doubt it." The fact that Nicky's tone was so resigned made Galina's heart ache, and she was determined to change that.

"Never doubt me, little girl." Red says, her eyebrows raising. "After this Halloween you're never going to want to see a pumpkin or a bat ever again."

Nicky laughs as she opens the front door. "I don't doubt it."

Galina gets home early that night. When Marka came storming in through the door much earlier than usual, complaining about something at work that wouldn't matter in a month whilst she ignored her daughter's needs, Galina made herself scarce. She was afraid that her whole counting to ten routine couldn't hold back the harsh words she wanted to throw at Marka, and she really needed the job. It hurt to leave Nicky as she was watched her leave with a small frown, but she kissed her cheek and told her she'd be there extra early in the morning. And so when Galina gets home that night, she is checking off a mental list in her head of what they could do before this weekend, when Halloween would fall. _Trick or Treating, a costume – oh, she'd look so cute – candy apples, Jack-o'-lanterns, pumpkin pies…_

Dmitri greets her as she opens the door, her mind pre-occupied with thoughts of other things. As he takes her hand and leads her to the table, she lets him distract her. "Galina," he says imploringly, "I feel like we never see each other anymore."

"I know," Galina says, but she's not particularly upset over it like he is. She's never been someone who needs someone else to be complete. "But I'm here now. Don't waste your breath on complaints." He chuckles at his wife and places a plate of food down in front of her.

" _Prelest' moya,_ " Dmitri starts. Galina offers him a small smile. "Do you ever miss home?" Galina hadn't expected that question, but considered her answer carefully. Truthfully, home was a concept she never quite understood. Was home a place? A person? A town, or four walls?

"This _is_ home." Galina says finally. She puts her fork down and stares at her husband, their eyes meeting. "Home moves with you. And right now, I think we're exactly where we need to be." She pauses for a moment. "We've got each other, Dmitri. What more do you want?" Her husband always had a way of frustrating her, but she attempted to stay calm.

Dmitri nods half-heartedly, accepting but not understanding. "What's on your mind?" He changes the subject and Galina lights up, her eyes sparkling excitedly.

"Oh," Galina says. "There's a whole lot on my mind." That finally said, and with their conversation coming to a natural end, Galina stands. The rest of the evening would be taken up with pulling recipes out of books and looking at the old photo albums for costume inspiration.

Nicky's own evening was spent in her bedroom. One ear was listening to music blaring out from her earphones, the other was listening to Marka and Paolo eating dinner. She rolled her eyes at the hum of their mundane conversation, and though she wanted to get a drink from the kitchen, her distain at them both kept her thirst at bay.

She climbs into bed, forgetting about the English homework that lay unfinished on her desk. It would be difficult and lonely to fall asleep without Red's voice lulling her into a sense of security, and she probably wouldn't sleep a whole lot, but there was no around that. Nicky had learnt from a very young age that crying about things often only gave you a headache, red eyes and a damp pillow. She rolls onto her side, her nose buried deep into her blanket, and attempts to let sleep take hold.

In the morning, Galina is, as promised, at Nicky's house bright and early. She eats breakfast with Nicky as they talk over their ideas for Halloween. Red doesn't let Nicky know the full extent of her plans, and instead plans to surprise her when she gets home from school with a pumpkin to carve. Nicky is bubbling with hidden excitement when as Galina asks her about what she wants her costume to be.

"I think Lorna's going this year. She was asking me if I wanted to go," Nicky admits. She laughs and continues, "She wants to do a joint costume. You know, like paired up."

Galina smiles. "What were you thinking, then?" Nicky pulls a face and shrugs.

"I'm not really sure. It's more Lorna's thing. She's walking to school with us though. She can tell you then."

As Nicky said, before they set off for school, Lorna knocks on the door, her own excitement clear to see. "Hi, Nicky! Good morning, Red!" Lorna gabbles as she grins.

"Morning, Lorna," Red smiles, gently pushing her down the street so that they started walking. "So, tell me – what were you thinking about costumes…?"

Later that day, Red worked busily at a sewing machine in Nicky's house, her temper raging as the machine wouldn't follow her specific orders and her frustration grew. "Fucking costumes," Red hisses, her fist slamming down onto the table. Beads of sweat form on her brow as she hunches over the sewing machine, her back aching horrendously. "Why do I talk myself into these things…?" She runs the material under the needle and catches it once again. "Shit," she curses.

As she fiddles with the needle, attempting to rethread the machine, Marka stands over her. She glances at the pictures that lay next to Galina on the table. A small smile forms on her face, colored by sadness and regret. "Is that for Nicole?"

Galina jumps at the sudden noise, not having heard Ms Nichols come through the door. Flustered and hot, she nods quickly. Marka nods once again and turns to the cabinet beside her, rifling through a drawer. After a moment or two, she pulls out a photo album and flicks to a seemingly random page. Galina squints at the page that's been thrust in front of her, and smiles once she realizes that it's Nicky, around two years old, in a little cat costume. She looks adorable and it melts even Red's heart though she's still angry at many things in the room, including Marka and that damn machine.

Marka leans against the side, putting the album away again. Galina begins to press down on the sewing machine pedal again, running stitches through the material. Once again it fails to do what she wants, and she bites back another curse. Marka frowns behind her. "That thing is decades old," she admits. "You'll be there for weeks. I was never one for sewing."

Galina sighs and takes her glasses off to look at Ms Nichols properly. She wonders what she is "one for", thinking it certainly wasn't mothering either. "It's not the best, but it's all I have to work with." Marka steps forward and takes hold of the photos.

"Huh, cute." Her mask of coldness slips for a moment as she just enjoys being a part of her daughter's life for a moment. "I'm guessing her little friend chose these." She doesn't sound impressed, and Galina understands why Nicky finds it so difficult to be in the same room as her as she was having similar struggles.

"Yes," Galina says. She smiles at the photos and then sighs at the mess in front of her. Ms Nichols puts the photos down and shakes her head. She rifles in her purse for a moment before pulling out a bunch of dollar bills and placing them next to Red.

"Just get the costumes made professionally. Halloween is this weekend. You won't have time." Her voice is still cold, as usual, but she's trying. Throwing money at problems won't make them go away, Galina thinks, but if Nicky and Lorna's costumes can be finished then that's something.

Galina nods. "Thank you. I'm going to pick Nicky up now." There was still a little time, but Galina guessed that Ms Nichols didn't know what time her daughter got out of school. When Marka nods vaguely, her suspicions are confirmed, and she breathes a sigh of relief that she can finally leave her company.

"That's a good idea. That new school they've built across from Nicole's is full of rough kids." Marka's eyebrows crease in concern. "Nicole might not be okay walking out alone. Be safe."

Galina nods, humoring Ms Nichols. "I will," she says, whilst knowing fully that one of those "rough" kids would be walking through that font door, linked arm in arm with Nicky, with a giggle and sitting exactly where the both of them stood now.

As she leaves, she shakes her head. It was alien to her that Ms Nichols could be so clueless. But enough about her, Galina thinks, a smile appearing on her face. Nicky's first proper Halloween was about to begin, and it was going to be in full swing.

 **Okay, so this chapter is what I'm going to call a patchwork. Because it's so jumpy and all over the place. However, I hope you liked it. Next chapter will be Halloween and Nicky and Lorna will be Trick or Treating in their costumes…all cute fluffy stuff. Please review and tell me what you think. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

The early bird catches the worm, that's what they say. Galina doesn't know who "they" are, but she would trade any worms for getting rid of the headache and backache that plagued her as she hauled two pumpkins to Nicky's house at 7AM. As she struggles with the door, she can't help cursing. When she finally gets it open, almost breathless from the exertion, she drops the bag by the floor and heads to the kitchen.

Marka and Nicky sit across from each other, both preoccupied with trying to appear busy to one another. For Marka, that's texting someone from work whilst a pinched look taints her usually attractive features. For Nicky, it's eating cereal and staring at the floor. It's like coming in from the rain when Nicky's face lights up upon seeing her, and Galina instantly forgets about her various aches and pains.

"Red!" Nicky smiles. Her outburst is enough to make Marka's fingers stop whizzing across her screen, and she finally looks up.

"Good morning, Mrs Reznikov. How are you?" The words are strained and Ms Nichols doesn't seem to want to know the answer. Regardless, Galina forces out a smile. She didn't know what had gotten into Nicky's mother, but it was a little too late to have the right to be jealous of the first person to take care of Nicky.

"All the better now I've seen that smile," Red replies tersely. "Nicky and I have a lovely day planned. I don't know what time you'll be back, but we will probably be late tonight."

Marka nods but she doesn't really take in the information. It doesn't affect her or what she planned for the day. Nicky watches with curiosity at Marka finally taking some kind of interest in her. "That's fine," she says. As Nicky opens her mouth to add to the conversation, Marka puts her phone to her ear and says, "Darling! How are you?"

Nicky wilts like a sad little flower. Marka had never said those words to her. Red watches, her mouth pressing into a line, judgemental and irritated. She rubs Nicky's back comfortingly. She puts her mouth close to Nicky's ear. "Have you ever carved a pumpkin?"

Marka leaves in a hurry an hour or so later while Red and Nicky are sizing up their pumpkins. "The fun part is getting to do whatever you'd like with it…let your imagination run wild. Spooky or pretty."

Nicky glances at hers, her face unconvinced. "I'm not sure that'll ever be pretty." She pokes it with her finger and Red shakes her head. The girl grew up in New York and yet the idea of celebrating Halloween seemed to escape her. Red laughs and drums her fingers on the pumpkin whilst Nicky remains unconvinced. "Lorna's the creative one, anyway." She rolls her eyes but a smile creeps on her face. "You should see her wedding boards."

"Well," Red says dismissively, always ready to quell any complaints, "Draw a face on it and take your frustrations out. After all, when else will you get the chance to stab someone you don't like?" Galina laughs almost maniacally, winking at Nicky. "Hopefully not in real life, though I make no promises."

Nicky smirks at Galina. "Why not? Promises are made to be broken." The words come out sadder than she intends and she offers a small smile afterwards, but Galina still squeezes her shoulder.

"Not all promises," Galina says firmly. "Not _my_ promises." Nicky stabs her pumpkin as she watches Galina. Her eyebrows raise, almost like a challenge, but her stance remains relaxed.

"Is that a promise?"

After an hour and a half, Nicky steps back from her pumpkin. Her hair sticks to her face and she pushes it away with her arms, her hands sticky from pumpkin seeds. It's messy and carved wonkily but Galina beams at it like Picasso made it. "We'll buy a tea light and put it inside, and it'll look beautiful regardless."

"Beautiful isn't the right word." Nicky pauses and grins goofily. "But it's Halloween, and it'll do." She looks at Galina's beautifully carved pumpkin. Galina shrugs as Nicky raises her eyebrows. "How's yours so pretty?"

Galina laughs easily and leans against the countertop. "Everything is easier with time," she says. "And trust me - Halloween with two boys every year gets very boring if all you carve is two eyes and a mouth."

Nicky smiles lopsidedly and looks at her own pumpkin again. "Next year," Nicky says, and Galina's heart soars at the possibility of a next year, "Well, next year at least the eyes will be straight." She laughs and gives Galina a sheepish smile.

"As long as you have fun," Galina reminds her. "That's all that matters, _malyshka."_

Night had fallen and the candles were lit inside the Jack-o'-lanterns. Galina leans against the bathroom door. "Come on, Nicky," Galina coaxes, putting her head close to the door. There was a camera poised in one hand, ready to snap a picture before Nicky could protest. "We're waiting to see what you like look." Lorna glances at Galina, her eyebrows raising quizzically. "She's been in there for a while," Galina admits, her voice lowered, "I'm not sure if she's even coming out."

Lorna frowns at Galina and bangs on the door herself. "Nicky! Please come out." Lorna's voice is pleading as she tries the doorknob, letting it rattle as she twists it. "I bet you look so _cuuuut_ e…" Lorna teases.

Nicky frowns from the other side of the bathroom door, sitting on the edge of the bath. Her elbows were on her knees and she sighs. "This costume comes from tainted money," Nicky yells. From the other side of the door Lorna looks down on herself (her own costume fitting perfectly) in alarm. Her eyebrows knit together as she bit her lower lip.

"What does that even mean?" Lorna asks. She tugs at the dress nervously before Galina rolls her eyes, patting Lorna's arm comfortingly.

"Marka paid for the costumes." She explains before turning her attention back to the closed door. "Nicky, I love you with all my heart, but that my dear is _bullshit."_ Galina sighs once again as Lorna giggles at her bluntness. "You don't need to be embarrassed, everyone looks silly on Halloween."

"Oh yeah?" Nicky retorts. Before Galina can answer, Nicky quickly continues, "I don't see you dressed up." _God,_ Galina thinks, _you would think I was torturing the girl._ But nonetheless, the door slowly creaks open and Nicky creeps out.

Instantly, Galina's face breaks out into a smile and she snaps with her camera. "Oh, Lorna was right – you are too adorable, _malyshka."_ She snaps again before gently pushing Lorna towards her. Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion stand side-by-side. Dorothy beams up at the camera whilst the lion stands, looking bewildered. "Stand together and smile – Nicky, do I have to tell a joke?"

Nicky raises her eyebrows presumptuously, her mane of hair tilting to one side as she considered. "Is it in Russian?" Lorna tugs on her arm and rolls her eyes, as if pleading with her to just smile so they could finally leave.

"No," Red admits. "But it's pretty funny. A penguin and a farmer walk into a bar…" Galina trails off, her gaze falling on Lorna's pout. She looks at her watch and concedes with Lorna with a nod of her head. "It's kind of long. I'll tell it to you when we have more time," she promises, silently adding _and when you're older,_ her mind drifting to the less than appropriate themes of the joke. "Are you ready to Trick or Treat?"

Nicky grins and nods enthusiastically, all of her inhibitions suddenly lost. The Cowardly Lion had gained some confidence as she bounced out of the door with Dorothy by her side. Galina followed behind, a smile fixed on her face. It didn't take long for Nicky to gain the courage to knock on the first door with Lorna squealing behind her. A woman in her late twenties opens the door with a smile.

"Trick or treat!" They chorus, holding out their canvas bags for candy. Nicky grins at Lorna as the woman dishes out candy into their bags.

"The Wizard of Oz!" The woman cries out. "I used to love that movie as a little girl." The Lion and Dorothy grin at the woman, Nicky's (now literal) mane of hair bouncing as she nodded in agreement with the woman at the doorstop. Lorna smiles easily back at the woman, pleased to see Nicky enjoying herself without having many inhibitions.

Then Nicky and Lorna smile back at Red, who is watching proudly from the sidewalk. It warmed her heart to see Nicky finally getting to experience these things that she should have already been an expert at, that she should have been getting "too cool" for at twelve years old.

At the end of the night, Lorna giggles as she inspects her now very full bag, twirling along the road in her dress. "Can you believe all these people just give out candy?" Lorna exclaims, unwrapping one of her chocolates before proffering one to Red, who quickly takes the offering and unwraps it herself. "I'd just buy it and keep it for myself," Lorna says, her words muffled through her mouthful of chocolate. Nicky giggles at her and shakes her head. "They do great deals at the grocery store at Halloween."

"You're cheap." Nicky laughs. "What about your kids? Aren't you going to take them trick or treating?"

Lorna smiles at Nicky passively. "Oh yes, my children will be the best dressed kids in town." Her eyes glaze over as she thinks about it. "I'm going to have a boy, named after his father, and then a little girl…"

Galina chuckles as she ushers the girls down the street. "I don't think that's how it works." Lorna frowns but concedes that she may be right with a nod of her head. "What about you, Nicky?"

Nicky shrugs, suddenly shy. "I don't think I'm going to have any kids." Galina slows her pace to match Nicky's and raises her eyebrows.

"Oh? Why not?" Galina asks. Lorna watches Nicky too, her face a picture of intrigue. Nicky looks to the ground, her feet grinding the dirt into the sidewalk. Nicky shrugs once again, and the trio fall into a deafening silence as they reach Nicky's house. Lorna's sister waits at the doorstep to collect her, a smile fixed on her face.

"Hey, Franny!" Lorna says. Nicky nods in acknowledgement of Franny but doesn't say much. Franny simply smiles.

"Have fun, kiddo?" Franny asks. Lorna nods emphatically, her curls bouncing around her face. Franny smiles at the dress nostalgically. "You look adorable, the both of you." She smiles at Red. "Thanks for looking after Lorna. I wanted to take her out but I had late classes at college…plus, I think she had more fun with Nicky." Franny adds with a tinkly laugh.

"Don't they always have more fun together?" Galina laughs back. She waves a goodbye to Lorna, who quickly wraps her arms around Nicky in a hug goodbye. Nicky squeezes her hand and then turns to go back inside with Galina.

Galina yawns in the half light of the kitchen as they make their way inside, whilst Nicky smirks. "Too old for late nights?" Galina swats at her with a tea towel as she pretends to be mad and Nicky darts out of the way.

"I'll remember that next time you're falling asleep on the couch." Galina quips. And then she walks over to Nicky, a sweet smile on her face. She pushes Nicky's hair back and tucks it behind her ears in the most natural form of affection. "You're tired, too." Red gently underlines the black circles underneath Nicky's eyes.

Whilst Nicky washes her face, brushes her teeth and changes into her pajamas, Galina waits inside her bedroom. She stares out of the window into the darkness, her mind casting back to Nicky's face as she skipped along the street with Lorna. It brought a smile to her face almost instantly. When Nicky returns from the bathroom, she's smiling too.

"Did you have fun, hmm?" Red asks. She guides Nicky into her bed and pulls the covers up around her shoulders, tucking her in. She smooths her hair down and plants a small, tender kiss on Nicky's forehead.

Nicky nods wordlessly, feeling slightly overwhelmed by how much she felt towards Galina. She was never quite sure what love felt like, and it made her feel unsure of her own emotions. Was it the person she looked for in a crowded room? Was it the way a smile crept onto her face when she saw Red arrive in the morning? Maybe it was the name she called out at night when bad thoughts fought their way into her dreams, or maybe it was the fingers that ghosted over her forehead as Galina read to her at night.

No, maybe Nicky didn't know what love was – but with Red, she was constantly finding out.

 **So there's Halloween…I hope you liked the chapter. Please tell me what you think and what you'd like to see as always. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

"So...what did you think?" Nicky asks as she hops off of the coffee table. It shakes precariously under her weight and Galina cringes. She wasn't unaware to the fact that the table probably cost more than her rent and she was sure that Nicky wasn't either. Even so, Red forces a smile as she waves her hand to try and articulate her feelings.

"It was certainly...enthusiastic." Galina says tactfully, her eyebrows raising. Nicky scrunches up her nose and falls into giggles.

It was Friday afternoon and Nicky had bolted out of school, a script clenched in her fist. As soon as she reached Galina, she grinned, her words spilling out breathlessly, "I got a part in the school play!" Galina had smiled back, embraced Nicky into a tight hug, and asked her all about it. When Nicky was finished talking, she still wasn't entirely sure she understood the plot - or that Nicky had - but she did know that it was a Thanksgiving play and that Nicky was very excited to have a speaking part. All the way home, Galina had absently wondered if Marka had ever asked her about anything that happened in school. She doubted it, for when she asked questions relevant to the point Nicky had just made, Nicky's eyes lit up as she explained further.

Nicky composes herself from her laughter and frowns. "My teacher said something similar." She flops down onto the couch, blowing her hair off of her face as she throws the script down to the coffee table. "Maybe I'm not supposed to be an actor." Nicky sighs again. She had never auditioned for a role before, there had been no point. Marka would never have taken the time off of work to see it, and being the only kid in the play with no mom there to cheer you on wasn't how Nicky wanted to spend her evenings. But now, with Galina, there was something in Nicky that so badly wanted to be on that stage, to be able to look out into the crowd and see the only face she ever wanted to see in a crowded room.

"Even Angelina Jolie had to start somewhere," Galina replies. "And I'll be proud of you even if you stumble over yours lines, even if you burst into giggles...even if you fall off the stage." Red joins Nicky on the couch, turning her head to face Nicky, who lays staring at the ceiling. "I'm proud of you even when you sulk," she says, tickling her neck softly.

Nicky grins and sits up, taking Galina's hand in her own hand. "Really?"

Galina winks at Nicky. "There are far worse things to be in the world than a bad actor. Besides, the only person you need to be is you, _malyshka."_

* * *

"But what about me?" Lorna reads out unconvincingly, her voice monotone and flat. Nicky bites back giggles as she watches Lorna, lying on her bed with her feet in the air, a script balancing shakily on the soles of her feet. Even by Nicky's standards, Lorna was a terrible actress.

"Come on, Morello - take this seriously." Nicky says before finally succumbing to the fit of laughter she had held back. She joins Lorna on the bed, jumping down next to her. She stares up at the glow in the dark stars that had been stuck on the ceiling, probably when Lorna was a lot younger. Most of the room's decor was dated but Lorna seemed to love it nonetheless. She wonders if Lorna stares up at the same stars when she can't sleep at night. Lorna traces patterns on Nicky's hands and flips over to face her.

"Why do you even care?" Lorna says finally. She raises her eyebrows quizzically. "You said the spring production was stupid." Nicky rolls her eyes and nods.

"Any play which revolves around an anthropomorphic rabbit tends to be." Nicky quips. She then sighs, pushing her hair back behind her ears to see Lorna more clearly. "Besides," she says softly, her eyes falling to her fingers, which play with the bed sheets, "Red says she's proud of me. I think she'll come and watch when we perform."

"Of course," Lorna smiles passively. Even when her mom was working, she always found time to watch Lorna's school productions and it was almost unthinkable that Nicky had never had anyone watch her on stage before. Lorna's brow creases as she continues to think about it as Nicky goes over her script once more. "Who wouldn't?"

The question hangs in the air as Nicky stares at Lorna. Nicky shrugs. "Marka, obviously," she says softly. Her vulnerability shines through her tough exterior as she sighs, placing her script down on the floor. Lorna smile sadly, taking Nicky's hand and playing with her fingers.

"She's not worth the effort." Lorna tries to sound positive, but it falls flat. "She's never been a proper mom to you. Not even close to how Galina's like with you."

The words make Nicky remember a time when she was much younger, when she had just started school and her third nanny that year had been the one dropping her off at the gates.

 _Five years old, Nicky sits in a circle with her classmates. Her uniform was too constricting from the little dresses she was used to wearing, and she shuffled uncomfortably, glancing around at everyone else._

 _"Okay!" Her teacher said cheerily. Nicky immediately watched her, enchanted by how she was able to captivate everyone's attention with a single word. Her big brown eyes widened as she sat still, gazing at the teacher. "Does anyone know what very special day is coming up this weekend?"_ _The class of five-year-olds piped up various wrong ideas that the teacher calmly corrected, with a "No, but good try!" After a few moments, the teacher chuckled and silenced everyone. "This Sunday is Mother's Day. That's when you all do something really nice for your mommies, like maybe making her a card or helping your daddy make her breakfast. We're going to go round in our circle and say what a mother means to us or something she does for you. I'll start. My mom always phones to ask how I am and she listens to what I have to say. What about you?"_

 _One by one, the class all said what their mother meant to them. Twenty or so children said things like, "My mommy puts band-aids on my knee when I fall over and then kisses it better." Or "My mama kisses me goodnight after reading me a bedtime story every night."_

 _As the circle came closer to Nicky, her forehead creased in concern. She was listening carefully to all of the responses. "My mommy hugs me when I get home from school and says she missed me," came after the last answer, and the little boy who sat next to Nicky proudly announced that his mom "made his favorite dinner on Fridays"._

 _All eyes were on Nicky as it was her turn to answer. She blinked up at the teacher as she stared at Nicky, waiting for a response. "What about you, Nicole?" The teacher asked with a smile. Nicky was overwhelmed with the answers that everyone else had given. No-one read her a bedtime story or tucked her in at night. No-one made (or even knew) her favorite dinner. No-one hugged her when she got home from school. She never knew who would even be waiting for her at the school gates. When she fell over, she limped sadly over to whatever nanny she had that week who would say, "Oh dear." There was no kissing it better._

 _Nicky's face crumpled as she considered her answer. She blinked up at her teacher, tears falling down her pale cheeks. "Miss Adams," Nicky said tearfully, her voice cracking, "I don't think I have a mommy."_

Nicky smiles sadly at Lorna, who now comfortingly rakes her fingers through Nicky's hair. "I guess not."

* * *

The next morning, Nicky woke up to a spinning room. Her wallpaper blurs as she opens her heavy eyes, turning the room into a kaleidoscope. Her whole body feels heavy as she hauls herself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water makes her feel marginally better but the strong smell of the raspberry soap Galina had given her and that she usually loved made her want to throw up.

She sat on her bed, shivering though the heating was on and she was wearing a jumper. Even when she heard the door open and Galina arrive, she couldn't bring herself to get up. Instead, Galina comes up to her. She hears the pleasantries of Red talking to Marka and rolls her eyes. Only Marka could make " _good morning, how are you?"_ sound so patronizing. Nicky wishes that now Galina was here in the mornings, that Marka would make herself scarce. The only thing that seemed to have happened was Marka making her presence more felt than ever before, which Nicky found irritating to say the least.

Galina knocks on Nicky's door as a perfunctory measure and opens it without waiting for a response. As soon as she sees Nicky, she rushes over and places the back of her hand on her forehead. "Oh, my poor _milaya_ ," Red says. She gently sits on the bed next to her, and though she tries not to rock the bed, the slightest movement makes Nicky's head spin again. "You're burning up. You must feel awful."

Nicky shakes her head though it pounds in protest to the slightest movement. "I feel okay," she croaks insistently. Nicky comes to a shaky stand, wincing at every movement. Galina stares at Nicky, her head shaking and concerned face turning into a deeper frown. "If we don't leave soon I'll be late for school."

"You look like death!" Galina exclaims, putting her hand on Nicky's arm to steady her. "You can't go to school like this. You need to stay home and to be looked after." Galina strokes her forehead, trying to tempt her to stay in bed.

Nicky smiles sadly at Galina. She'd never heard those words before, and she was sure that in theory it was nice, but the reality was that Marka would be hanging around the house and Nicky wouldn't relax. Besides, she'd never been looked after like this before, and she didn't know how to react. "I'll be fine. I have to rehearse for the play." She holds up her script weakly and the smile she offers is equally weak.

As makes her way to the front door, Galina protests further. "Please, Nicky - you can't even walk down the stairs properly." She reaches out to her and strokes the back of her neck softly. For a moment, Nicky resists the temptation to continue walking and sighs in content. It seemed to take away the pain in her head, even if just for a second.

"Stop worrying." Nicky murmurs. She continues into the kitchen, grabbing her backpack from the back of a chair. Marka looks up briefly from her laptop, offers a small wave to Nicky as she grabs an apple from the fruit bowl, and then goes back to her work. Galina's eyes follow Nicky around the room. Finally, after Nicky stops for the fifth time in ten minutes to take a deep breath, Galina snaps.

"Aren't you going to ask your daughter if she's okay?" Galina rubs Nicky's back as she sighs. "There are rings under her eyes blacker than the night and she's sweating in October." Galina pauses and waits for a response that doesn't arrive. "Yet she still thinks she should go to school. Look at her, she's far too ill."

Marka glances at Galina, her eyes narrowing as she takes in Nicky's shivering form. She closes the laptop lid calmly and places her palms on the worktop. "I'm glad Nicole appreciates that every day at school costs money for me. I think she's old enough to decide for herself if she should go in." Nicky glances triumphantly at Galina, who inwardly fumes at Marka's lack of common sense, maternal instinct and basic human decency.

"Fine," she says. She takes Nicky by the shoulder and steers her out of the door. She doesn't say anything the whole journey to school, and Nicky is too tired to even muster up an excuse as to why she doesn't want to stay home. It makes her cringe to hear the effort it's taking Nicky to simply walk to school like she does five days a week usually. When they reach the school gates, Nicky croaks a goodbye to Galina. Galina sighs. "Are you sure?" Nicky nods.

"I'll be fine," she repeats. When Nicky gets into school, she fails to feel any better. She drags herself to math where she sits with her head in her hands and her hands resting on the desk. She attempts to ignore the chatter of the students all around her and the teacher droning on about algebra in front of her. She's granted an hour of solitude, minus the few minutes it took to reassure her teacher that she was okay, "Just tired, sir," when he asked if she was alright before continuing with his teaching.

For the first time, Nicky wants math to last forever and groans when the bell rings. It makes her head ache once again and she dreads the thought of having to stand up on stage and look into the spotlight. Just the thought of it made her knees weak and head feel dizzy. Regardless of her feelings, she hauls herself up and walks slowly and painfully to the auditorium. When she pushes open the now extremely heavy doors, her teacher smiles at her, seemingly ignoring the fact that her star performer looked like death warmed up. Nicky attempted a smile back but expected that it came out more like a grimace. She wasn't awake enough to even be embarrassed as she stumbles up the stage steps.

As expected, the stage lights made her feel even hotter and more unvomfortable. Her head span and she tried to remember her lines, tried to remember Galina's face as she reminded herself that she needed to be perfect for the showcase night. She clenches her script in her left hand as she vaguely hears the other performers around her, their voices sounding shadowy and echoed to her ears. As her line approaches, the auditorium begins to spin around her even more acutely than before. Nicky's knees buckle and she can hear her name being called out. The last thing she hears is, "I think she's going to faint.." as her body hits the stage with a heavy thud.

A web of darkness ebbed at the corner's of Nicky's eyes as she hit the floor. Relief washed over her as she no longer had to stand, and as darkness encapsulated her, she let the black abyss pull her in.

 **A/N:**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was inspired by _Johanna-002_ who sent me some very nice ideas which I tried to incorporate and will be continuing to as the next few chapters progress. **

**Please tell me what you think and thank you for all the reviews.**

 **:)**


	16. Chapter 16

Galina walks hurriedly through the doors of Nicky's school. Her heart thudded in her chest as she attempted to control her emotions. The phone had rung earlier that morning, and a pleasant but naive woman had asked to speak to Nicky's mother. After Galina explained that she wasn't Nicky's mother, but would be acting as her guardian, the woman reluctantly informed her that Nicky had fainted on stage earlier that morning, and was now being looked after by the school nurse, but would need to be collected as soon as possible. Galina had let the phone fall, hanging by the wire from the wall. The receptionist's voice had been left swinging upside down, calling out, "Hello?" into the empty house.

Now, Galina presses the buzzer at the front desk, anxiously peering round into various different doors to see if she could spot Nicky anywhere. When she couldn't, she presses the buzzer once more. A woman strides out confidently and raises her eyebrows at Galina's hand, once again hovering over the button for the buzzer. "Yes?" She asks, her tone faintly irritated. Galina presses her lips together to stop herself making an unkind remark and nods in acknowledgement of the woman.

"I'm here to collect Nicky Nichols." Galina says, her concern growing with every passing minute. "Nicole Nichols." Galina corrects herself. "Is she here?"

The woman nods, her face softening at the mention of Nicky's name. "Of course. She's through here. I'm pleased you managed to get here so quickly. Nicole gave us quite the scare this morning, Mrs..?" She tapers off, the end a question.

"Reznikov. I''m Nicky's nanny." Galina informs her. The woman nods. "Me, too," Galina says softly. "I told her to stay home...I should have made her stay home." Red shakes her head angrily, unsure of if she's more upset with herself or Marka. She doesn't dwell on it as she's led to the nurse's office where Nicky is lying on a bed in the corner. Galina immediately loses all of her inhibitions as she sees Nicky looking so small, vulnerable and pale, and rushes over to her. She places her hand on her forehead, just like she had earlier that morning, and rubs her back comfortingly. "Oh, moya milaya sumasshedshaya devushka," Galina says. Nicky smiles weakly even though she doesn't understand what Galina has said. "Let's get you home. Marka isn't home, so it'll just be me looking after you."

The office staff smile sadly at Nicky, as if this is bad news for her, clearly not knowing how much of a relief this was for the girl. Nicky simply nods swiftly, and reaches out for Galina to help her stand up. Her head still feels dizzy and her vision is still blurry. The words "I need help" daren't cross her lips because of her pride, but the way Nicky's fingers scrabble at Galina's hands make it clear to her that she is in need of support. Galina takes Nicky's hands and helps her out of the bed, then signs the form that says she has collected her. "Right," Galina says, as they walk (though Nicky almost stumbles) out of the school gates, "Once we're home, you're going straight to bed."

Nicky doesn't even have the energy to protest. Galina guides her to a car across the street, and Nicky frowns, wondering why they weren't walking. Galina helps her into the car and then explains. "I didn't want to leave you any longer than I had to. Marka always leaves too much money anyway. You are not walking home when there are perfectly good taxis." Nicky doesn't say anything but leans against Galina as the driver drives home. She can't help the small smile that appears on her face as Galina wraps her arm around her, keeping her warm and feeling safe.

Galina stares down at Nicky as they drive. She wonders how Marka ever coped when Nicky was a baby. Didn't she worry incessantly? Didn't she check over the crib that the baby was breathing? Did she somewhere along the way lose that instinct to protect Nicky at all costs, or did she never have it? It was inconceivable to Galina that the rush of maternal love had just never come for Nicky, who was so lovable in her eyes. It almost made Galina feel sympathy for Marka. If it had never happened, _why?_ Was there something inherently wrong with Marka, or was she brought up the same way? But then she looked down at the little girl leaning against her and remembered all of the times she'd cried because of her, all the times she'd been made to feel worthless for no reason, and the sympathy quickly evaporated. She would just have to accept that she would probably never understand, and if she couldn't understand, she hated to think what Nicky was feeling.

The car journey comes to an end just as Galina's thoughts are winding down and just as Nicky is falling asleep. Galina pays the driver and helps Nicky out. "Come on, sleepy head," she says, opening up the front door and closing it behind herself after she guides Nicky through. Once in the house, Galina settles Nicky down on the couch. That way, she could keep an eye on her. She slips a pillow underneath her head, smoothing out her messy hair, and drapes a blanket over her curled up frame. Nicky doesn't say anything nor does she resist being mollycoddled. Then Galina perches on the edge and runs her fingers across Nicky's forehead gently, smiling as Nicky relaxes. "You silly girl," Galina says softly. "Red's always right - you should have just stayed at home today."

Nicky giggles and then coughs, her eyes still half closed as she fights sleep. "I needed to practice for the school play."

Galina raises her eyebrows. "Hmm. Well I needed to practice breathing this morning when I got that phone call. I was so worried, _malyshka."_ Red tucks the blanket under Nicky's chin and smooths her hair again. "You know, you're more trouble than three boys put together. So stubborn. Such a strong will." _So much like me,_ Galina adds silently, suppressing a small chuckle.

"Sorry," Nicky says. She's not sure if she means it but it feels right and it makes Red smile, so she's glad she did. Red shakes her head.

"Don't be sorry. A mother can't help but worry," Galina says. It was alien to her that this little girl had found her way into her heart alongside her boys. It was always said, wasn't it, that blood is thicker than water. That you love your children more than anything. So why did she find herself thinking that she had four children to look after now? Nicky stares up at Red, considering what Galina had just said too. She had found herself questioning why Galina wanted to stay when no-one else had ever wanted to. She had reasoned with herself that money was the main aim - but she would get paid whether or not she made Nicky feel loved, whether or not she was there to tuck her in and read to her and cheer her on from the sidelines.

"But you're not my mother." Nicky says, her voice wobbly. She plays with the blanket, her eyes focused on the patterns instead of Galina's face. "I wish you were, but you're not."

Galina sighs sadly, and takes Nicky's hand. "What does it mean to be a mother, Nicky?" Nicky thinks back to the conversation she'd had with Lorna the other day, when she'd been taken back all those years to when she was five. What was a mother?

 _My mama kisses me goodnight._

 _My mommy makes my favorite dinner._

 _My mommy puts band-aids on my knees when I hurt myself._

Nicky glances up at Galina. It had been her face she'd seen in all of those goodnight kisses, it had been her recipe that made her a lasagna on her birthday, it had been her cool and steady hands that had placed band-aids on her knees when she had gotten hurt. If that's what a mother was, then maybe she did have a mom, after all. Daring to think about it, and feeling some hope for the first time in a long time, Nicky feels tears pricking at the corners of her eyes so shakes her head. "I wouldn't know," she says, her tone flat and voice husky with emotion.

Galina stares down at Nicky, and she can't help but fight the disappointment that bubbled in her chest. "You get some rest, okay? I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." She plants a kiss on Nicky's forehead, and comes to a stand. Galina glances at Nicky one final time before stepping into the kitchen. Usually, Galina found that she was able to control her emotions quite easily. She knew that the second you are perceived as weak, you already are, and she was not okay with people thinking that she could be pushed around. All her life she had fought for dominance, and showing emotion was not conducive in proving that you're right for the job.

But maybe now it was, because she fought tears as she stood in the kitchen, leaning on the island for support. She didn't even know quite why she was crying, because Nicky was fine, and she would still get to take care of her - but it was just so unfair that she never got to have a real mother for twelve years of her life. She was determined to show Nicky that she could find a mother in her.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Nicky longed for Galina to be comforting her again. Most of the time, she didn't know what she wanted and now what she did want was gone. With a sigh, Nicky curls up with her blanket and closes her eyes. If Red wasn't there, she might as well try and get some rest. She was used to waiting, to not getting what she wanted. At least this time she knew Red would be back before too long, and she was sure that she would be willing to do whatever she wanted her to.

In the kitchen, Galina wipes her eyes and rummages through the cupboards. If there was anything she remembered from being sick as a child, it was the comforting taste of her mother's chicken noodle soup. It worked wonders for soothing sore throats and banishing aches and pains, and she hoped that it would help Nicky as much as it used to help her. She throws the ingredients into the pan and turns on the heat, letting the chicken stock and vegetables simmer. Once she finished that, Galina had only been sitting down for a moment before she heard a timid knock on the front door. Her back throbbing and heart heavy, Galina made her way to the front door.

When she opens it, Lorna is standing on the doorstep. The first words out of her mouth betray her concern if her facial expression hadn't already. "Hi, Red - is Nicky okay?" Galina steps aside to let Lorna in and she walks through, continuing, "I didn't see her at lunch today."

"She's sleeping on the couch," Galina informs Lorna. "She's sick, but she'll be fine soon enough. You can go through if you want. She might be grumpy if you wake her up but she'll be pissed if I don't tell her you're here." Galina laughs and stirs the pot of soup that bubbles on the stove top as Lorna pushes open the door to the living room.

Nicky glances over as the door creaks open, and smiles as she sees Lorna. She sits up and pats the couch. "I might be contagious." Nicky warns as Lorna immediately snuggles down next to her. "And contagious and clingy don't mix very well."

"Hey," Lorna says defensively. "I am not clingy."

"And yet you're still holding my hand." Nicky smirks. Her voice is still raw because of her throat and she looks pale and tired, but clearly Lorna has brought her spirits up. When Lorna goes to pull her hand away in protest, Nicky pouts. "You can't be mean to me. I'm sick."

"You're probably faking," Lorna laughs, although she can see that she's clearly not. She pushes Nicky's hair back and gently underlines the circles under her eyes.

"Am not." Nicky says. "I fainted on stage. And I've been told by a very reliable source that I'm not a very good actress so that would be quite the challenge to pull off."

"You fainted?" Lorna says incredulously. "Are you alright?" She looks over Nicky like there would be some indication of her fall on her body that she hadn't spotted previously, despite knowing Nicky like the back of her hand.

"I'm tired," Nicky admits. "And my head hurts."

Lorna frowns and gives Nicky a hug, careful not to knock her. "I hope you start to feel better soon," she says worriedly. Nicky smiles, nodding.

"I'm sure I will." Nicky reassures her. "In the meantime, I'm sure you and Galina can look after me." She giggles as Lorna rolls her eyes, coming to a stand.

"I wish I could stay longer," Lorna says with a sigh, "But my mom has to work tonight and wants to know I got home okay. But I'll visit you tomorrow, okay? And I can stay longer. I can do your hair for you if you want."

Nicky rolls her eyes. "I suspect that's what you want. But fine," Nicky says. A smile appears on her face and she finds that she's looking forward to it already. Lorna leans over and kisses her cheek softly. Butterflies form in Nicky's stomach and she blushes.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest and feel better." Lorna smiles. "Bye, Red!" She calls to Galina, who comes out from the kitchen, waving a goodbye, and walks with her to the front door.

"Goodbye, Lorna." Red smiles. "Have a safe walk home." She watches as Lorna walks the street and then closes the door. She was glad Lorna had at least managed to cheer Nicky up a little.

As she walks into the living room, Galina calls out to Nicky. "Are you hungry?"

Nicky pauses from her channel surfing and calls back to Galina. "A little." Galina leans on the door frame and beckons Nicky with her finger.

"Come on then. Everyone's favorite when they're not feeling well. Chicken soup. Just like my Mama made." Nicky smiles as she throws her blanket back down onto the couch and shuffles into the kitchen. Her head still ached but she had to admit that the soup smelled good. As she sat at the table, Red placed a bowl of steaming chicken noodle soup in front of her.

"Mm," Nicky says, immediately taking a spoonful. "This is nice."

Galina smiles. "It always makes you feel better. My Mama used to say that it was the love stirred into it. I know that's bullshit, but it's still a nice thought." Nicky snorts a laugh.

The rest of the meal is enjoyed in a relative silence whilst Nicky concentrates on her dinner and Galina concentrates on thinking of ways to make Nicky feel better. By the time she's finished her bowl, her eyes are almost closing again in tiredness. Galina smiles down at her. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired," Nicky says again. "I feel heavy."

"That's what happens when you're sick." Galina says, her tone full of pity.

She helps Nicky up to bed, and after she's brushed her teeth and washed, tucks the blankets around her so she's cozy and warm. She sits next to Nicky's bed and ignores her throbbing back. It's nice, in the quiet moments, to just enjoy what life is giving you. And Nicky, so open to affection whilst she was ill, wasn't something Galina was going to ignore. She opens up a book and begins to read, one hand on the book and the other delegated to running through Nicky's hair. Though her eyes are closed, it's clear to see that Nicky is fighting sleep. Galina smiles once more.

"Go to sleep, _malyshka."_ Red chuckles. "I'll still be here when you're sleeping, and I'll be around when you wake up - I promise."

As Nicky gives into sleep, she wonders what makes this promise - and all of her others - different from the countless broken promises she's received in the course of her lifetime. She doesn't know, but the one thing she did know was that something in Galina, and something in herself made her believe every single one of them.

 **Thanks for all of your reviews on the last chapter! I really appreciate it and love that you liked it. I hope you liked this chapter just as much even if it is rambling and a bit of a nonevent. Have a lovely day, stay safe (especially those affected by the hurricane) and please tell me what you think in a review. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

Nicky's knee bounced up and down nervously. Galina glanced up from her cooking, her glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose as she looked over them to watch Nicky. In one hand, Nicky held a well worn, tatty script. In the other, she gripped the chair arm tightly. It was the afternoon of her play, and she was feeling the nerves bubble inside of her.

"I don't think I want to go to the play." Nicky says, her eyes trained to the floor. Galina stops stirring the pot of food, places the wooden spoon down onto the counter, and turns to face Nicky.

"Why not?" Red asks. Her tone remains interested but sympathetic as she sits down next to Nicky, ignoring the pain in her back in favor of paying full attention to Nicky.

"Everyone will be looking at me." Nicky says quietly. "The lights make me feel too hot and I don't know if I can remember my lines," she says, her words rushing out all at once.

Galina rolls her eyes good naturedly, and places her hand over Nicky's clenching fist. " _Volkóv boyát'sya - v les ne khodít'._ "

"Volkóv boy...what?" Nicky asks. Her mind is off of her play, which is what Galina was aiming for, but she's confused and intrigued. Of course she was used to Galina saying the odd thing in Russian, but she usually brushed it off if Nicky asked what she had said, or it was easy to work out from the context.

Galina smiles. " _Volkóv boyát'sya - v les ne khodít_ ," she repeats patiently. "If you're afraid of wolves, don't go to the woods."

" _Volkóv boyát'sya - v les ne khodít_ '." Nicky tries again. Her accent is off and she's pronouncing the words oddly, but anyone could guess the gist of what she was saying, and Galina was impressed by her wanting to learn. "Like if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen?"

Galina nods, another smiling appearing. "That one seems more fitting for me, doesn't it? But my point is - stop complaining. You know your lines. God knows I've heard them enough times I could be your understudy. The lights are too bright? Well, _malen'kaya bogataya devochka,_ don't be a brat. Quit with these bullshit excuses." Nicky doesn't ask this time, instead raising her eyebrows. She knows it'll be an insult but can't find it in her to be upset or mad about it. Galina's eyes and voice soften. "And I'll be right there in the audience if you need me. I don't care if you mess up your lines or look sweaty under the lights. I'm proud of you always, _malyshka."_

Nicky nods but doesn't say anything. "Do you feel better now?" Galina asks, to which Nicky nods again. "Good. Now let me finish making dinner. Recite your lines or wash your hair, I don't care. Just let me finish."

Nicky nods again, a grin appearing on her face. "Fine," she says, cheekily taking a spoonful of food from the pot Galina stood over. Red batted her hand away with a frown. "Mm," Nicky says. "What is this?"

"Filled with questions today." Galina says, her eyebrows raising. "It's filling for a pirog - if there's any left over after you picking at it like a little bird." When she sees Nicky is none the wiser, she shakes her head. "A pie, _dorogaya._ Now go on, shoo."

* * *

The lights are bright on stage but Nicky's eyes are brighter as she peeks out of the curtain at the crowd. Many times she had done this as a very young child, to be met with dire disappointment each and every time. She half expected to have that same disappointment now, with her heart sinking down to her feet, but to her surprise (and delight, she found, as a smile grew on her face) Galina sat in the front row, her eyes wandering around the auditorium.

Galina kept herself to herself, briefly wondering as she stared at the stage where Nicky had fainted. It still hurt that she didn't know how to be looked after, but nothing could interrupt the bubbling excitement she felt in her chest when she thought of watching Nicky perform. It wasn't lost on her that she was probably one of the only people who cared enough to sit through one of these boring shows, when the only interesting bit was when your child lit up the stage with their acting prowess and clearly them being the cutest child up there. Whilst it made her sad for Nicky, Galina couldn't deny that she was full of pride and privilege at being able to hold that title - the parent there for Nicky Nichols, the one with wild hair, do you see her up there?

Nicky gives Galina a small wave through the curtain, her shyness obvious on her face from the red blush that swept her cheeks. Galina's eyes lit up as she gave a wave back, completely uninhibited from the stares she was getting from the other parents. She had never been one to take notice of what others thought of her, and the last time she had, the one time she had let other people get under her skin, was a horrific experience. But with a smile to Nicky, Galina wondered if those women had done her a favor. Her and Dmitri were as close as ever, even with her long hours as a nanny and his long hours as a furniture removal man, and she felt lucky to have been given the opportunity to love this little girl in front of her.

She settles down in her seat as the curtains open, revealing the Thanksgiving scene unfolding in front of the audience. Nicky stood at the front of the stage, looking confidently out into the crowd. Her eyes flicker to Galina and a small smile quirks up her lips. And though she usually hates these school plays, and usually found herself thinking of anything and everything else, she found herself captivated by Nicky's on screen presence. Her acting hadn't dramatically improved and she stumbled over a few of her lines but somehow Galina found herself rooting for her character. Her voice boomed over the whole auditorium, clear as a bell, and Galina didn't know how the other parents weren't as close to the edge of her seat as she was.

When it was over, Galina stood and clapped proudly, beaming up a smile to Nicky, who took her bows with everyone else on stage. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were wide, a smile curling her lips up. It made Galina even prouder to see how delighted Nicky looked, which was a contrast to how she looked shortly before the play. Galina gave herself a mental pat on the back. Sometimes tough love really was the best option, she though as she smiled up at Nicky. As the cast made their way backstage, Galina found herself mingling with the other parents who made small talk easily.

When asked who she was there to watch, she proudly replied, "Nicky Nichols. The curly haired blonde in the lead role." She simply couldn't help herself even if she did find herself sounding somewhat like a stage mother. And of course she got asked the awkward question of who she actually was, to which she replied smoothly, "Her nanny. Her very proud nanny." With a smile and a charming extension of her hand to shake.

Nicky quickly says goodbye to her classmates, finally finding that they were talking to her, and rushes out to find Galina. The gaggle of parents surrounding her doesn't phase Nicky as she navigates her way through the small crowd to Galina's side, where she slips her hand into Galina's. "You watched," Nicky says breathlessly.

Galina faces her, surprised, though trying not to act hurt by Nicky's exclaimation. "Of course," Red says easily, "I told you I would. You were so good, _malyshka._ All of that rehearsal paid off!"

"Really?" Nicky says, pushing her hair out of her eyes as she leads Galina out of the school. The auditorium was hot under the lights and the noise, and Nicky was ready to leave. Galina nods emphatically, her hand grazing Nicky's back as she followed.

"Really," she continues, pushing the doors open and following Nicky though into the cool air of the calm November night. Around six o'clock, the darkness had fallen and the chilly air had bitten through any warmth that the day had provided, but the pair still felt awake and full of adrenaline. Nicky looks up to the sky as she spins around on the sidewalk, with Galina watching her closely. She suddenly hugs herself tightly as a gust of wind sends shivers down her spine. Red smiles and wraps an arm around her, letting Nicky lean on her.

"I don't want to go home yet." Nicky admits in a small voice. Galina laughs softly.

"Why not?" She asks. She rubs Nicky's cold arm with her hand and pulls her closer as they walk along the sidewalk. "Not tired yet, no?"

Nicky shakes her head. "No, it's not that," she says, biting her lip. "It's just nice, this..." she pauses, grappling for the right words, and eventually waves her hand. "It's silly."

"No," Galina says. "If it's bothering you, then it's not silly. This is your night, we can go anywhere you want. Then we'll go home and eat dinner, but for now...the night is yours."

Nicky manages a small smile. "It's just that it's been really fun tonight. Sometimes, I don't think of home as a place where I'm happy...especially if Marka is back. I know the night has to end...eventually, I mean, but for now, I just want to be with you."

Galina fights the urge to cry at this sad admission. "Oh, Nicky," Galina says, her accent coloring her tone with disapproval that Nicky instantly senses. "Whatever you want tonight." Nicky smiles, her childlike innocence allowing her not to fully understand the gravity of what she just said. "So...what is it that you want to do?"

Nicky laughs. "I don't know." She thinks for a moment before smiling. "Take me somewhere you like to go," she says finally. Nicky wanted more than anything to understand Galina in the small details, the specifics.

"Okay," Galina says, her mind whirring as she wondered where to take Nicky.

* * *

"You used to take your sons here?" Nicky asks excitedly as she pushes open the door, the little bell that hung from it jangling and cutting into the silence of the diner.

Red nods tiredly behind Nicky, the walk more exhausting on her than it was for the eleven year old who was existing on adrenaline and, Galina suspected, the sugar from the soda from backstage. "Oh yes," she says. "They always liked it here when they were young." A faint smile crosses Galina's lips as she recalls the memories. "Of course I was a lot younger then, too. We always ordered the same thing," she says nostalgically. "I wonder if it's still on the menu."

Nicky slides down into a booth and plucks a menu from the box. "What was it?"

"A strawberry sundae with extra whipped cream," Galina says, smiling as she spots it on the menu. "There it is. I'll have one of those," she says in good timing as the waitress asks what they're having.

Nicky nods enthusiastically. "I'll have that too."

Galina smiles as she watches Nicky from across the booth. Her mind parallels Nicky with her boys and she wonders if she'll ever sit here with them again. She thinks about her family as Nicky looks around. She wonders how she'd describe her family to a passerby if they asked.

 _"Well, there's my husband - Dmitri...he tries and he loves me, he'd do anything to make me smile. What more can I ask for? There's my oldest boy, Yuri. So strong and determined. Then there's Vasily, loyal and trusting. He is my sweet, and his girlfriend, soon to be his wife. My youngest son is Maxsim," she would smile, "No-one can resist his charms. And then there's little Nicky...Where to start?"_

It doesn't take long for the waitress to bring over their order. The diner wasn't busy, the influx of high-school students long gone by nightfall. "Celebrating something?" The waitress asks kindly, a smile on her face at the excited young girl and woman who sat across from each other.

Galina smiles, her sudden realization that Nicky was just as much a child to her than any of her boys making her feel suddenly vulnerable to the girl who could bring her to her knees by deciding that she didn't feel the same way. "You could say so."

As the waitress walks away, Nicky smiles. "What are we celebrating?"

"Happy times. Family. How sometimes life decides not to fuck you over," Galina says with a raise of her eyebrows.

Nicky shrugs, taking a spoonful of her sundae. Her mouth full, she laughs. "Sounds good to me."

 **Hey :) Please tell me what you think of the chapter in a review. Thank you for all of your nice words about the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one just as much. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

Nicky stares at Marka, her mouth opening and closing as she searches for the right words. Her face contorts into a confused expression, her brow creasing. "You're going to Cancun for Christmas with Paolo?" Nicky finally asks, rubbing her temples. She sighs but she's not surprised as Marka continues to look at her, wide eyed and excited. Like a little kid on Christmas morning, ironically enough.

Marka smiles brightly, holding up two plane tickets. "Yes! Paolo surprised me this morning. Isn't that exciting?" Nicky finds the focus to nod absently, her eyes still trained on the pair of tickets in Marka's hand.

"Yeah," she says, her voice raspy. "I guess so." Nicky's tone makes Marka look up from her passport and make a sympathetic face. Her features contort into some form of sympathy, probably learned from the dramas she insisted watching on TV.

"Oh, honey. I know you'll miss me but it's just not a vacation for children." Marka rubs Nicky's arm but she shrugs her off. Her blatant disregard for her stung and the arrogance of assuming that she'd miss her made her hold back a sarcastic laugh. How could you miss what you never had? "Come on, Nicole. We've never really done Christmas anyway, have we?"

Nicky shrugs again. No, they hadn't ever "done Christmas" properly before, but whose fault was that? Though there were always piles of presents under the tree, it was always generic things that a girl would like. All the presents did was reconfirm what Nicky already knew - that her mother didn't really know her at all. "Where will I go?" Nicky asks. December was well and truly underway and school had finished. Everyone else already had plans - including Marka. Nickly mentally scrabbles for a resolution. "Will I...will I go to Grandma's?"

Marka laughs dryly. "God, no. You know Grandma doesn't like children, and I would never hear the end of it. She considers for a moment, finally placing the tickets in a drawer and shutting it with a slam. "Hmm. I don't suppose Mrs Reznikov will look after you for Christmas, will she?"

Red. Nicky looks up at Marka hopefully, for once liking the words that come out of her mouth. "I don't know," Nicky says truthfully. "But I don't think she'd mind."

"Good," Marka says with a false smile. She covers her mouth with her hands, suppressing an excited squeal. "I've always wanted to go to Cancun. Everything's worked out so well!"

Nicky allows herself a small smile. Maybe, for once, Marka was right about something.

* * *

Nicky rubs her hands together in a futile attempt to warm them as she walks to Lorna's house. Galina had taken the morning off, saying she had a few errands to run, so Nicky had decided to tie up a few of her own loose ends. Loose end number one happened to be Lorna. A gift bag was looped around her arm, resting at her elbow, and annoyingly kept hitting against her leg, but she kept walking until she finally reached Lorna's house.

As Nicky knocks, she watches the people rushing past. Everything was so busy at this time of year, and she often found herself wondering if she would be one of those last minute shoppers when she was older. Presently, she had barely anyone to buy a gift for. She only bought a gift for Lorna, Alex, Marka, Red and Norma, to whom she had shyly presented a luxury (or, at least that's what the store assistant told her, as she looked up at her wide eyed) box of chocolates to.

It had been wonderful for Nicky to see the smile that lit up her features. Norma had reached over the lunch bar and squeezed Nicky's shoulder. She hadn't said anything but it was clear that it meant a lot to her, and it had made Nicky feel warm inside. When Nicky had told Galina later that day, she'd received a small laugh and a, "Good for you!" That had also made Nicky smile and she wondered what on earth she was going to give to Galina for a gift that could possibly show her feelings. She didn't know, but she was going to spend a long time thinking about it before she bought anything, unlike the make-up she had bought for Marka, which she had seen in a store and bought after about thirty seconds deliberation.

She's pulled out of her thoughts by Lorna's shrill voice cutting through the rest of the background noise. "Nicky!" Lorna exclaims as she opens the door. She moves out of the way and peers out into the street. "It's freezing out there," Lorna frowns, enveloping Nicky into hug to warm her. "Come inside and warm up. Do you want a hot chocolate?" Lorna smiles. "My mom says Christmas tastes like hot chocolate," she says with a laugh, her eyes sparkling. The happiness is evident on her features and Nicky thinks it's beautiful. Thinks _she's_ beautiful.

Nicky smiles back. What did Christmas taste like to her? Bitter thank yous and dry turkey were the first things that sprang to mind. She pushes the pleasantries and birds out of her mind in favor of stepping inside and passing Lorna the bright pink gift bag that was making her arm ache.

"Ooh, for me?" Lorna giggles, taking the bag with a shy glance at Nicky. She reaches over to give Nicky another hug as a thank you, and her lips graze Nicky's cheek. "Thank you," she says. A blush sweeps over Nicky's cheeks that are already rosy from the bitterly cold wind outside.

"Who else?" Nicky says with a laugh of her own, rolling her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Lorna." Lorna places the present under the tree and, with a quick grin to Nicky, runs into her bedroom. When she emerges, she has a present in her hands again. This one is sloppily wrapped - and you can tell that a lot of love went into picking out the gold and silver paper - and is offered to Nicky proudly. Nicky smiles again, holding her hands out for the present to be placed into. "For me?" She teases.

Lorna nods excitedly as Nicky turns the present over in her hands self-consciously. She didn't get many presents from friends, due to the fact that she'd never really had that many. It felt special that Lorna had taken the time to wrap the gift herself as well as picking it out. She imagines Lorna browsing through the stores, dragging her mom to store after store. It brought a smile to her face and she hugs the present to her chest. "Thanks, Lorna."

The words sound so sincere and grateful that Lorna stops. Her hands, previously busy with looking for a Christmas CD to put on in the background, pause and she looks up. "You're welcome," she says, disbelief creeping into her voice. Standing in front of her was a girl who had every material thing a twelve year old could possibly want, and Lorna's gift, which didn't cost a fraction of even Nicky's new sweater, ordered from some fancy French store she probably couldn't even pronounce the name of, meant more to her than any of it.

Nicky looks up with a smile. "I think I'm going to Red's for Christmas," she blurts out. Lorna comes to a stand, completely ignoring the now abandoned CD collection.

"Really?" Lorna asks, and she really sounds shocked. Nicky nods, biting her lip with a sigh. "Why? What about your mom? I mean Marka," she adds hurriedly, glancing up at Nicky.

Nicky shrugs but it's obviously something that bothers her. "She's..." Nicky looks to the floor. She stares at the pattern of the carpet until it blurs from the tears pricking at her eyes. "Paolo's taking her to Cancun."

"What, he couldn't spring for Bora Bora?" Lorna asks, acid seeping into her tone. She shakes her head, suddenly finding the Christmas cheer all around her too much when Nicky was clearly hurting. Nicky shrugs again.

"I think it might be nice to stay with Red," she says. She looks up at Lorna worriedly. "Do you think she'll want me?"

Lorna laughs easily, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I can't think of a single reason why anyone wouldn't."

* * *

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" Galina asks, her eyes narrowing. Nicky's excited expression turns into one of puzzlement and she nods quickly, unsure of what she's done wrong. Galina has almost forgotten that Nicky is even in the room, despite being two feet away from her. She's fuming at Marka's disregard for her daughter. She shakes her head angrily, her nostrils and temper both flaring. "I can't believe that woman."

"It's okay," Nicky says without looking up. "I could just stay here." She shrugs sadly, her shoulders rolling. "We never really do Christmas anyways." This empty echo of Marka's words snap Galina back into the room.

"Malyshka." Red puts her hands on Nicky's shoulders and shakes her head. "I would be honored to have you for Christmas. I'm just upset, that's all." The words are heavy, too heavy for the lightness that the holidays usually bring.

Nicky frowns. "Upset? Why are you upset?" Her brow creases further as she shakes her head, and she doesn't give Red the chance to answer. "I shouldn't have asked you."

"No, no." Red says quickly. "I'm upset for Marka. As a mother, Nicky," she sighs. "You wouldn't understand, not yet. You're not a mother."

Nicky finally looks up, her eyebrows raising. "Neither is she."

Galina smiles sadly. "I guess not." Then, she wraps her arms around Nicky, resting her chin on her shoulder. Their cheeks brush. "I hope you're ready for a Reznikov Christmas," she says with a small laugh.

"I think I am," Nicky says, a little laugh escaping from her own lips. Excitement bubbles beneath her surface and she fights the urge to ask a million questions. She finally settles on one. "Will your sons be coming?"

"Oh, yes." Galina smiles. All of her precious ones all in the same room, what a joyous occasion it would be! "I'm sure they'll be looking forward to meeting you." Galina smiles down at Nicky. "And I've got everyone's presents now...all wrapped and under the tree. Including yours," she says to Nicky.

"Really?" Nicky asks. It made her smile to think that her present was under the tree next to the presents for Galina's sons. Like she was family. Like she was finally supposed to be there.

"Of course," Galina says, _"deystvitel'no ochen."_ She was mentally going through a list in her mind - traditional Christmas food, games, special treats and things to do...It had been a long time since Galina had a child to make Christmas special for, and she was determined to make this Christmas one Nicky would remember for a long time.

She had already picked what she thought was the perfect gift, she had already bought the turkey. Everything was in place for a perfect Christmas, and Nicky's presence only confirmed this in Galina's mind. Meanwhile, Nicky watches Galina with a smile. For her whole life, whenever something made her happy, it was snatched away just as she got comfortable with it.

Nicky didn't pray often. But tonight - tonight Nicky knew she'd be praying to whoever was up there to just give her that one day, to just give her one Christmas with a mother that loved her, with a family that cared. One day was all she asked for.

There was a pit in Nicky's stomach that she'd grown accustomed to. Galina smiles at her, her thumb brushing over Nicky's cheek. "Christmas will be just perfect," Galina sighs happily.

Nicky smiles weakly. "That's the hope."

 **A/N:**

 **Thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter. I love reading them all and I appreciate them so much. I hope you like this chapter, and I hope Nicky gets her perfect Christmas...though some of you guys have been asking for drama, so be careful what you wish for... ;)**

 **Please review and tell me what you think!**


	19. Chapter 19

The sound of chatter from the living room distracts Nicky from her menial task of brushing her teeth. A smile comes to her face as she listens, hearing Galina's sons and the rest of the family enjoying their evening. Since she had arrived that afternoon, she'd been welcomed into the chaos of Christmas Eve, and she was loving every moment of it. It hadn't been difficult at all to say goodbye to Marka, and she was looking forward to the morning. She bounces on her feet, unable to stay still for even the two minutes it took to brush teeth.

" _Say goodbye to Marka, Nicky," Galina had murmured quietly from the kitchen. Marka was busy checking her luggage and checking it twice, like Santa with his list. Nicky rolled her eyes. "You'll miss her," Galina offered, though the words were hollow to the both of them. "I know she's useless, but you've spent every Christmas of your life with her, I presume."_

" _Yes," Nicky said, throwing Galina a look of contempt as she finished her breakfast. "More's the pity." She brightened a little as she turned to face Galina. "I'm looking forward to Christmas with you. Will your family mind?" Nicky's expression turned to one of angst as she considered for the first time that Red's family may be not as accommodating as her._

 _Galina waved her hand and shrugged. "They'll do what I say and they'll do it with a smile if they know what's best for them." Her accent made the words sound more serious than Galina intended, and she laughed despite herself._

 _Nicky laughed too, but chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "I hope they don't mind. I've...I've never really liked Christmas all that much. But I think this year will be the exception," she adds brightly._

" _I hope so." Galina said.. And then, returning to her original instruction, she pushed Nicky gently. "Go say goodbye to Marka." Nicky rolled her eyes._

" _Bye, Marka! Enjoy your vacation," she yelled from the kitchen. "And good riddance," she muttered as an afterthought. Galina concealed a knowing smile and instead threw Nicky a look of warning. "Fine," she sighed, throwing up her hands dramatically and standing. "But this is the last time I think of her!"_

 _Galina finally smiled as Nicky left the room. That was absolutely fine by her._

"Come on, sleepyhead," Galina chuckles from the doorway, coming over and placing her hands on Nicky's shoulders. She squeezes her shoulders gently and raises her eyebrows. She looks her in the eye through the mirror and smiles. "One more sleep to go," she sings teasingly.

Nicky gives a half-hearted smile. As much as she hated to admit it, she felt nervous. Everyone was so nice; so welcoming. She knew she'd somehow manage to mess it up, like she always managed to at home. "Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?" Galina asks. Nicky shakes her head, placing her toothbrush on the side of the sink.

"Not really," she admits. She wonders what Christmas was like in Galina's family when her boys were young. Full of laughter and happiness, probably. Twinkly lights and full tummies. Discarded wrapping paper because even when they had no money, they had presents that meant something. Nicky smiles sadly. "Did you? Do you?" She adds, now wondering what Christmas was like now with no kids around. By the continuous buzz of talking from the living room, she imagined it probably was much the same.

"We used to," Galina says, guiding Nicky into the living room. "Now we just spend time together. We used to read a story on Christmas Eve, always the same one. Just like my Mama read to me," she says with a smile. She could almost see the three little boys chasing her whilst she ran ragged around their home, book in hand, eyes lit up with the magic of Christmas again. Now, she thought sadly, the whole family was squashed into Galina's small apartment, and it was evident by the fact that there were people sitting on the floor that the apartment really wasn't big enough. Twinges of guilt attacked Nicky's stomach, where the butterflies swarmed. Galina and Dmitri had their bedroom, and once Galina's sons had gone home, Nicky would have a cozy nest made from blankets set up on the couch. But as they open the door to the living room, Galina's sons don't seem upset about Nicky's presence, which calms her nerves. They come to a stand as they enter the room, and Vasily comes over to kiss his mother goodbye.

"I'll see you in the morning, boys," Galina says. Her eyes crinkle as she smiles and she looks truly happy. Nicky watches from the couch, a smile lighting up her face.

"Have a goodnight, Ma," Yuri says. He reaches over and ruffles Nicky's hair, and a laugh escapes from his mouth as she dodges his hand. "Goodnight to you too, _mladshaya sestra_!" Galina smiles at her son. _Little sister._ The words made happiness bubble inside her as she watched her children - all four of them - interacting with each other. As they leave, Nicky gives a small smile and waves goodbye.

As the door closes behind them, Galina helps Nicky into bed. She pulls the blankets around her and tucks her in, smoothing her hair down. "It's been a long day," Galina says, her fingers trailing against Nicky's smooth forehead, free of any worry lines. "Long but nice. Get some sleep, hmm?"

Nicky nods, the blankets coming right up under her chin. "I will." She looks up at Galina, who smiles down at her in the half-light. "Red?" Nicky asks. Her voice is small and Dmitri, who stands in the kitchen, watching the pair, can't help but smile at both the nickname and the way the girl seemed enchanted by his wife. He was sure she couldn't help it. God knows he was enchanted by her too.

"Yes, Nicky?" Red says softly, a smile crossing her lips. She sits next to the couch, perched on the edge of the coffee table.

"Will you read me the story you used to read to your sons?" The innocent words almost choke Galina up, and she nods instantly. The things that made that girl happy were so simple. It broke her heart to think that Marka couldn't - or wouldn't - make the time to read her daughter a simple story. Didn't she know she wouldn't always be this small? That her problems wouldn't always be able to be fixed with a hug?

"Of course," she says. Then she hesitates, biting her lip as she thinks back. "Well, I can _tell_ it to you. The book got lost in the move," she says sadly, brightening once she tries to remember the story. "I know it off-by-heart by now, though. It's ingrained into Christmas. Into my memory." She shuffles to get comfortable, and Dmitri passes her a cup of coffee to warm her hands. He passes Nicky a mug of hot chocolate which she takes gratefully, and shuffles up to a sitting position.

Galina rolls her eyes. "What?" Dmitri shrugs his shoulders to Nicky, who giggles.

"After that hot chocolate, you're going to sleep. Okay?" Before giving Nicky a chance to reply, because of course the answer would be yes, Galina launches into the story. Dmitri sits in his armchair and watches with a smile.

" _Once in a small Russian town, there lived a women called Babushka. Babushka always had work to do sweeping, polishing, dusting and cleaning. Her house was the best kept, most tidy house in the whole village. Her garden was beautiful and her cooking was wonderful. One evening she was busy dusting and cleaning, so busy that she didn't hear all the villagers outside in the village square talking about and looking at the new star in sky..."_

It wasn't long after Galina began telling the story that Nicky started to drift off to sleep. Galina closes the book softly, gently comes to a stand and smiles down at Dmitri. "Let's go to bed," he says quietly, careful not to disturb Nicky. "I'm proud of you, you know that?" he asks, for he's not sure she quite knows the gravity of his adoration. The roll of her eyes remind him that her ego doesn't really need stroking.

Galina raises her eyebrows, remaining unimpressed. "Why?"

"You raised our boys whilst working and you always put yourself last. You know how to get things done. I don't know what we'd do without you, Galina. And now Nicky," he says, gesturing to the sleeping girl's form. "It's obvious she thinks the world of you. And you of her." Galina nods but doesn't say anything. Her eyes are trained on Nicky, who breathes steadily and deeply, her face serene in sleep. "Maybe it wasn't a mistake that led us here. Maybe it was meant to be. Fate."

"Fate is complete bullshit." Galina returns in a harsh whisper, glaring at Dmitri. Her tone softens as she glances back at Nicky, and she nods. "I don't know what brought us here. I'm just glad that bitch's surgery was clearly done on the cheap," she says with a throaty laugh.

Dmitri conceals a smile at his wife's inappropriateness, and pulls her hand. "Never mind Nicky. I think it's time _you_ got some sleep."

* * *

The light streaming in through the window wakes Nicky up bright and early. And whilst she rarely wakes up before Galina, who is used to having to prep for a day in the restaurant, there's no sign of life in the kitchen when she opens her eyes. She wonders what ungodly hour she's woken up in today and is surprised when the wall-clock reads 6 AM.

Another surprise greets her as she sits up. A stocking with her name on hangs from the fireplace. It's hand stitched and she stands, going over to stroke the fabric gently, a smile warming up her features. It hung next to three other stockings, with _Vasily, Maxsim and Yuri_ stitched onto them. They were clearly old and worn by years of use. The stitching was tatty and the fabric fading, a strong contrast to Nicky's relatively neat and new one. It made Nicky smile, knowing however old they were they were still included in things. And all the butterflies in her stomach stop fluttering as she stares at the stocking. For once, she was really part of the family. The butterflies were replaced with a warmth that was alien to her.

Whilst Nicky is busy admiring the stockings, Galina pulls herself out of bed. She gently rubs Dmitri's shoulder to wake him up. "Syrniki and tea for breakfast, hmm?"

"Of course," he mumbles sleepily. Galina smiles and comes to a stand. He rolls over and gives her a smile. "Just like always. Merry Christmas, Galina. I love you, _milaya."_

"Merry Christmas, Dmitri. I love you too, you old fool."

Galina's door opens as she pushes it and Nicky glances over. A smile instantly comes to her face and she rushes over to hug Galina. Her face buries in Galina's neck and she laughs. "Ooh," Galina says with a laugh. "Someone woke up on the right side of the couch." She holds Nicky at arm's length to look at her properly and kisses her cheek.

"I did," Nicky says with a laugh. "Did you?"

"I rarely do," she muses, "but I think today might be the exception," she says, reusing Nicky's phrase from a few days ago. "Merry Christmas, Nicky." She looks into Nicky's eyes, and holds her hand. "I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with us," she says earnestly.

Nicky smiles and nods but doesn't seem to understand how much Galina desperately wants her to be happy. Instead, the innocence of her lost childhood escapes from her mouth in the form of: "Can I open my gifts now?"

Galina gives a small sigh and a weak smile as she wearily heads to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. "Once the boys are here, yes."

Nicky rushes to her backpack which sits under the coffee table, and pulls out a gift wrapped in red paper. A tag with _Galina_ scrawled in childish penmanship is glued to the side. She holds out the gift to Red proudly, and places it into her outstretched hands. "Can you open yours?"

If Galina had any notion of saying no, that was dashed by the hopefulness in Nicky's request. She smiles and takes the present, pulling Nicky's arm so that she sits down next to her on the couch. Nicky settles as close to Galina as she possibly can, and watches excitedly as Galina pulls the ribbon off of the square package.

"Oh, Nicky," Galina breathes as she first sees the present. Nicky and her own eyes stare back at her in a photograph from the summer, when they had visited the park to see the 4th of July fireworks. A myriad of memories followed in the book that Nicky had painstakingly put together, gluing pictures onto pages and writing the date, and what that day had meant to her. Red flicks through the pages, seeing all of their precious memories put together. The zoo, Thanksgiving, Halloween, tickets to plays they'd seen, leaves from the park that Nicky had pressed simply because Galina thought they were pretty.

"Don't cry," Nicky says, her forehead creasing in concern. She closes the book and tries to push it away. "I thought you'd like it."

Galina wraps her arms around Nicky, stroking her hair as she attempts to wipe the tears from her eyes. She holds the book close to her. "Oh, _malyshka,_ I do like it. I like it very much." She kisses her cheek. "Thank you, sweetheart."

Nicky grins. "You're very welcome." She hesitates before raising her eyebrows. "Can I open my gifts _now?"_

Galina sighs. "Yes. Open the one from Lorna." Almost not believing the words, Nicky grabs the present Lorna had given her just a few days ago. Her eyes bright and full of wonder, she tears the paper off. "So, what did she get you? Hair-ties? A brush so she can braid your mane?" Galina teases.

"No," Nicky smiles, holding the picture frame in her hands. "She got me a picture of us. Look." She holds out the frame to Galina, who glances at the faces staring back up at her. "It's from summer." She smiles, outlining the _Best Friends_ engraving on the front of the frame. "I love it."

* * *

As they finally sit around the breakfast table, Nicky bounces in her seat. She's never been this excited on Christmas morning, and Galina makes sure to take photographs so that Marka can glance at them and pretend she's interested in her daughter's life.

"Enjoying your breakfast?" Galina asks cynically as she sips her coffee, taking note of Nicky's still full plate. Nicky glances up, grinning sheepishly. She takes a bite of her breakfast. The syrniki was sweet and the perfect start to the day. Dmitri watches her with a smile - it had been a long time since there had been anyone so happy at Christmas in his house. He picks up his teacup and smiles at his wife.

It warmed his heart to see that she was instilling all of her values, all of her wisdom and pride, into another child, even if that child wasn't hers by biology. It was clear to him by the way that Nicky watched Galina that she loved her.

As Nicky takes the last bite of her breakfast, the door swings open and Galina's sons storm in, singing merrily. Vasily is the first to notice the sweet scent of food in the air, and he instantly sidles up next to his mother. "Is that syrniki I can smell, Mama?"

"You want some?" Galina asks, sounding pleased at the prospect at playing chef for a morning. The boys nod, and Galina opens the oven door. She brings three plates out for the boys and places the food down onto them. "I already guessed you would come in like bloodhounds and demand food. I'm your mother. I know you."

They laugh and begin to eat. Nicky, now abandoning the rest of her food, which Yuri gratefully finishes for her, looks up hopefully at Galina. She throws her hands up in the air, exasperated, but there's a smile on her face. "Yes, fine! We can open presents now. Happy now?" She asks Nicky, who grins and nods enthusiastically.

"Very."

* * *

"Open your gift," Red encourages Nicky. She's the last to open her present from Galina, and she's suddenly timid, her hands grazing along the paper that everyone else had simply ripped off. Everyone watches her, an encouraging smile present on their faces. Nicky shyly smiles up at Yuri, who makes a goofy face at her. It's been a long time since there were children around at Christmas for the Reznikov family, and everyone was enjoying seeing the wonder on Nicky's face as she carefully pulled at the curled ribbon on the little box Galina had so meticulously wrapped.

"She must love you if she wrapped your gift," Maxsim offers with a laugh, eyeing up his own opened gift, which had been presented sloppily in a gift bag. "Ma hates that type of thing."

"Maybe," Galina muses, a smile tainting her features, "but look at that face. Doesn't that make the paper cuts worth it, hmm?"

"If you say so, Mama," he laughs.

Nicky smiles and then turns her attention back to the box. She daintily pulls the lid off, and holds up the necklace so she can see it better. Galina, shrugging off the twinges in her back, sits down heavily next to Nicky and brushes the back of her hand against Nicky's.

"It's a St Joseph pendant. It was my mother's and then mine. I've no idea why she had it..But she told me that it watches over you. It protects you." Galina reaches for the necklace and fastens it around Nicky's neck, and then smooths her hair down, lightly touching the necklace with her pointer finger. "It's probably bullshit. But," Galina says with a smile, planting a small kiss on Nicky's cheek, "I like to believe that it does protect you. Even when I'm not with you, _malyshka_. Merry Christmas, Nicky." Nicky doesn't know what to say. She stares at Galina and holds the pendant. "Do you like it?"

Nicky nods wordlessly. It was clear that the pendant had meant a lot to Galina by the way she had explained its backstory. She nods again, locking eyes with Red. "I love it. And you."

Galina smiles. "I love you, too."

* * *

As the Reznikov clan gather around their tree, the Morello family begin to open their gifts. Christmas is expensive and as a single parent holding down two jobs, Lorna's mom had scrimped and saved to give her daughters the best she could afford. Despite that, Christmas music blared from the radio, and the girls were dancing in their pajamas as they sat down to exchange gifts.

The first present Lorna reaches for is from the same person who she looks for in a crowded room. Who is always there for her. Who she wonders how is doing right now. As she carefully unwraps the gift, a note tumbles out from the paper.

 _Merry Christmas, Lorna. Life isn't a fairy-tale but I hope you get your happily ever after._

Lorna smiles as she sees the gift. A charm bracelet. She slides the little bracelet onto her wrist, admiring it in the light. Tiny charms hang from the metal band and she inspects them. Cinderella's carriage. Belle's rose. Sleeping Beauty's crown. Snow White's Apple. She turns the bracelet over. Dorothy's heels and the Cowardly Lion stare back at her, just like Halloween. Lorna laughs, holding her wrist to her chest and caressing the little charms gently.

"What's that, Lorn?" Franny asks, holding her sister's wrist to get a better look. "Is that from that boyfriend of yours?" She giggles. "What was his name - Christopher?"

Lorna snatches her wrist back from her sister, scowling. "No. It's not from him." She cradles her wrist as if it's broken, which makes her sister laugh more. "It's from Nicky. See?" She flashes the tag to her sister and turns her attention back to the bracelet. "And it's beautiful."

* * *

"Enjoy, everyone!" Galina says as she sits down at the table for Christmas dinner. The room, which seemed overcrowded last night, now seems cozy and warm. Everyone huddled at the table felt like a proper family and Nicky feels happy. She does briefly wonder what Marka might be doing, but pushes the thought out of her mind as Dmitri carves the turkey.

"Mm, this looks great, Ma. Well done." Vasily says, cutting into his dinner and winking at his mother. "As always."

Galina preens and smiles at her family. "It's just dinner," she says modestly, although she knows as well as anyone that she's proud of herself. "Let's make a toast. To family. Old and new." Everyone raises a glass to family, with Nicky watching curiously as Galina clinks her glass with everyone and then settles down herself. A harsh rap on the door interrupts their celebrations. Galina scowls at the door as if it's the inanimate object's fault, and then gestures for someone to get up.

Dmitri smiles apologetically and comes to a stand. "I'll deal with this. Just eat." He tells his family. "I'm sure it's nothing," he reassures Galina as he passes her, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze. Galina shakes her head but focuses back on her family.

The buzz of conversation at the front door that she can hear but not make out is irritating to Galina, but she tries to push it out of her mind. She's doing a pretty good job of ignoring it until Dmitri comes back into the room. His face is pale and his hands shake as he tries to compose himself, gripping onto his chair.

"Chto eto? Chto ne tak?" Galina asks Dmitri. Nicky watches, her face morphing into a confused expression. Dmitri turns to face his wife.

"Oni vernulis'." Dmitri says weakly. "Oni znayut, gde my nakhodimsya!"

"Tell me you're joking." Galina says. The blood drains from her face and she breathes heavily. "They know?"

Dmitri nods. "We have to leave." He looks wildly around the room, but refuses to look his children in the eye. Nicky looks to Galina for reassurance. Reassurance she can't give.

"Where are we going?" Nicky asks. The innocuous question almost floors Galina, and she ignores her. Instead, she faces Dmitri.

"Pozhaluysta," she pleads. "Is there no other option?"

Dmitri shakes his head fiercely. "You know there's not." He stands, abandoning all thoughts of Christmas and dinner. "Pack your things, Galina." His tone is harsh, and Galina knows there's no flexibility in their options. "We have to go. Back home, maybe."

It's when she realizes that there's simply no other option that she finally turns to Nicky. She can't quite meet her eye as she tucks her hair behind her ears. " _Malyshka,"_ she says, her voice trembling, "I have to leave. I'm sorry, and I don't want to leave you -"

"Leave me?" Nicky asks, suddenly panicked. Galina shakes her head.

"Listen, _milaya,"_ Galina says breathlessly, glaring up at Dmitri as if it's his fault, "You know why we came here, don't you? I told you - remember? How something bad happened..." She takes a deep breath. "How I made a mistake. The tit punch, right?" Red's attempt at injecting humor into the conversation fails miserably as a tear slides down Nicky's cheek. "We thought they wouldn't find us. We were wrong," she says flatly. "I have to leave." She exhales heavily. "Yuri will look after you whilst your mother is away."

"She's not my mother," Nicky says bitterly. "When will you be back?"

Galina sighs, her breathing uneven. "I don't know. I don't know if we...if we _will_ be back. But I love you, and you'll be okay. You have Lorna. And Marka," she adds, although even her attempt at saying it genuinely seemed to fail.

"Take me with you," Nicky says desperately, her arms wrapping around Galina as she clings to her. "Please, take me with you."

Galina tries to remove Nicky's arms from around her neck, but finds them stuck there determinedly. "I can't take you with me," she says through tears. "I wish I could, but I can't. Nicky, you're not mine." The words are more desperate than Nicky's plea and she still won't let go of Galina. "Please. Yuri, take her from me,"

Yuri reluctantly follows his mother's instructions, and pulls Nicky away, though she kicks and yells at him. "Please, Red," she screams from his arms. "Please don't leave me."

Galina kisses Nicky's cheek despite her protests and rushes off to her bedroom. Inside the bedroom, Dmitri is already furiously packing. "Dmitri. You'd tell me if there was some other way? You'd make it happen?"

"Galina," he sighs, "That was Alexi from the restaurant. He wouldn't lie, and he says they are on to us. They're close, and we can't take that risk. What about Nicky? If they saw you with her? She would be at risk."

Galina nods absently, but agrees with him. She would never be that selfish, and put Nicky at risk of harm. "Pack my things, Dmitri. I have to say goodbye properly." She returns to the living room with a heavy heart. Nicky is sobbing into Yuri's arms and doesn't turn to look at her.

"Nicky, I'm sorry. I've fucked up. I know." She pulls Nicky towards her, and into her arms. She doesn't resist, and instead buries her head into Galina's neck. "Please forgive me."

Nicky sniffs through her tears, and nods but doesn't say anything. "Please come back for me."

Galina nods. "I promise."

Nicky doesn't say anything. She promised she wouldn't leave before. Why would this promise be any different?Promises are meant to be broken, and unlike she'd said, Galina wasn't the exception to the rule. Galina kisses the top of her head, and repeats, "I promise."

Nicky doubted it.

 **Ah, so it's been awhile! But this chapter is quite long so I hope that makes up for not updating like I usually do. I hope you liked this chapter. Please tell me what you think in a review and let me know what you'd like to see next.**


	20. Chapter 20

"Everything will be alright, Nicky," Yuri says softly. He reaches over Nicky and knocks on the door as it's clear that she won't. "You're excited to see your mom, right?"

His attempt at comforting words make only Nicky, who already has tears running down her cheeks, sob harder.

When Marka opens the door, she's preoccupied with her phone, but quickly ends the call when she sees Nicky's distressed face. "Nicole, what's the matter?" She pulls Nicky's arm through the doorway and glares at Yuri. "Who are you? Have you upset her?" There's irritation in her voice and Nicky flinches away from her. It was too late to be concerned, and she was too upset to handle Marka pretending to care.

"I'm Yuri Reznikov. Galina's son," he offers, whilst trying not to look offended. He shrugs, and gives Nicky a sympathetic glance. "I didn't do anything to her. She's just upset because my mom left." He scratches the back of his neck. "She, uh, had some unfinished business that she had to take care of."

Upon hearing his explanation, Marka sighs, and holds Nicky at arm's length. "I thought there was something _really_ wrong," she says flatly. She turns to Yuri, and says stiffly, "Thanks for bringing her home. You'll see she's prone to dramatics." Marka shrugs, her face pinched.

"She's just upset," Yuri offers uncomfortably, not knowing what to say to the seemingly cold woman. He'd never seen a mother so desensitized to her child's crying. "Feel better soon, Nicky. Okay?"

Nicky shakes her head miserably at the doorstep, avoiding Marka's icy glare. "Red would have understood," she says whilst Marka rolls her eyes.

Yuri smiles regretfully. "Yeah," he says. "She really would have." With that, he turns and leaves. Nicky's last connection to Galina disappears down a busy street, and though she strains to see him, he quickly disappears. Like mother, like son.

Marka closes the door just as Nicky loses sight of him. "I had a wonderful time in Cancun," she says, a smile appearing on her harsh features. "The ladies at the cotillion will be so jealous next week, I got such a tan." She laughs a tinkly giggle and sweeps her hair out of her eyes. "They all spent Christmas at home with their children. No exotic beaches for them."

Nicky resists the urge to roll her eyes, and bites back a sarcastic response. _Mexico is hardly exotic,_ she thinks. Instead, she just smiles tightly through her pain and lets the words go over her head. "Sounds like you had a nice time."

Marka smiles, believing Nicky to be genuine. "I did, sweetheart. Thanks for understanding." She brushes her fingers against Nicky's cheeks and looks into her eyes. It's uncomfortable for Nicky and the touch is foreign to her skin. "When did my little girl get so grown up?"

Nicky shrugs. _Maybe when you weren't around._

* * *

" _Slow down,_ Nicky," Lorna says, her forehead creasing in concern. Worry was etched all over her face as she steps aside to let Nicky inside. Nicky stood outside of her door, breathlessly trying to explain. "Are you okay?" Lorna asks, biting her bottom lip.

"No, not really." Nicky locks eyes with Lorna and then lets her hair fall over her face to stop her from seeing the tears shining on them. "Galina left a few days ago," she admits, biting her lip anxiously.

Lorna closes her eyes for a moment and processes the information. When she opens her eyes, she's still not sure she really understands. "Huh?" Lorna shakes her head. "I don't get it," she says dumbly.

Nicky laughs bitterly to stop the tears. "That makes two of us." She sits down heavily onto the creaking couch and lays her head back. "Grown-ups suck. They make you promises and always fucking break them." Lorna raises her eyebrows at Nicky's language, wondering what Marka would do if she heard her private-school designer wearing supposedly perfect daughter cursing. Then she wonders what Red would have done, and smiles. Probably congratulated her. Regardless of who would think what, Lorna doesn't speak. She senses that Nicky isn't finished and she's proved right. "She promised me." Nicky gives a half smile and laughs but without humor. "Ha. How stupid am I?"

"You're not stupid, Nichols," she says softly, her breath catching in her throat. Of all the things Nicky was - smart, funny, pretty, sarcastic - she wasn't stupid. It hurt to hear her talking like that.

Nicky finally gives in and sobs. "I didn't even get to say goodbye properly," she says. "She's just gone. Like she's dead."

"Oh, Nicky," Lorna says, finally giving into to her own urges and wrapping her arms around Nicky. "What happened?"

"I don't know." Nicky takes a shaky breath and looks up at Lorna. "It was nice...a normal Christmas." She smiles and plays with the pendant that rests on her chest. "Galina got me this necklace. She said it supposed to protect you, you know."

Lorna smiles. "Just like Galina did."

"Yeah. But she's not here, is she?" Nicky says bluntly. Lorna shakes her head apologetically, sighing. She doesn't know what to do to make it all better like Nicky always tries to do with her. "I want her back," Nicky begins, "I really miss her, Lorn-"

Lorna doesn't know why she does it, but she kisses her. Maybe it was to shut her up, or maybe it was to soothe her own conscience because she couldn't comfort Nicky like Nicky always managed to comfort her. Instead of apologizing or explaining or even saying anything, Lorna pulls away and jumps straight into a suggestion that will help Nicky, ignoring the kiss entirely.

"Why don't you try and say goodbye in some other way?" Lorna suggests quietly, keeping her eyes on the floor.

Nicky doesn't know what to say. A lingering taste of vanilla was on her lips, mingling with her own strawberry lip gloss. "Thanks," she stammers out, standing and making her way to the door whilst trying to figure out exactly what had happened - whether she had imagined it or not was another thought - and trying to smile, though it was as unconvincing as Lorna's. "I'll try."

* * *

Standing outside of Galina's apartment door, Nicky takes a deep breath. She ghosts her fingertips over the door handle, and winces as if even the mere thought of stepping into Galina's home whilst she isn't there causes her physical pain. Without giving it another thought - because if she did, she would walk away, and quickly - she opens the door. A wealth of memories flood her senses as the smell of Galina's cooking lingers in the kitchen.

A faint smile comes to Nicky's face as she looks around the room. Typical. _She cleaned up before she left_ , she thinks.

The door opens with a creak. Nicky enters, her face a picture of concern, as even now she struggles with the idea of invading Galina's privacy. Waves of emotion crash over her as she falls onto the bed. Galina's blanket still sat at the foot of the bed, almost like an invitation to curl up there and forget anything ever happened. Tears spill over Nicky's cheeks as she cocoons herself in the blanket, her nostrils flooding with a scent that was purely Galina, purely comfort - home to her.

Her fingernails - now short, bitten to the quick through the anxiety that plagued her day and night - claw at the blanket, a guttural sound escaping from her lips. The way she howled was animalistic, a child torn from the only mother she had ever had. It was more than a desire. Nicky needed Galina. She gasps through the tears that soak Galina's blanket, and the fabric bunches in her fists.

When she tires of crying, and her head aches, she looks at herself in the vanity mirror. Her face is blotchy and red. She's a mess, but all she can do is snort a hollow laugh and wipe the tears from her cheeks.

What bothers her most is what she sees in the corner of the room, propped up on Galina's nightstand. A red book. Her own face stares back at her, with Galina's arms wrapped around her. The scrapbook she had so lovingly created for Galina lay abandoned on the side. Nicky swallows hard, her breath catching in her throat. She walks over to the nightstand, her forehead creasing. Her bottom lip sticks out as she tries to stop herself from crying again, and she caresses the book like a lifeline to Galina. She left me behind. And she left all of our memories behind.

Nicky's fists ball up by her sides and it takes all of her self control not to rip up the stupid book. The stupid book she had spent hours painstakingly putting together. The stupid book she was now crying over, dripping unhappiness onto the previously only happy pictures. Now the ink smudges with salty tears, and Nicky wraps herself up in the blankets once again, clutching all of her happiest memories to her chest as her body wracked with silent sobs.

* * *

Galina shakes her head, tears stinging and her eyes but not daring to fall. "Look at this place." Their new home, a shabby little apartment that Dmitri's cousin had offered them, was even worse than their apartment in New York. The roof leaked as she spoke and the stairs creaked as people walked up them. "How is this better? _Ad na zemle!_ " She doesn't expect a response from Dmitri and doesn't want one. Every time she looks at him she is sickened. When he puts his hand on her shoulder, she shrugs it off viciously.

" _Milaya_ ," he sighs, trying to take her hands, "Count to ten and calm down. This is just temporary. Everything will be fine, I promise."

"Promises! Don't talk to me about fucking promises." Ignoring his suggestion of counting to ten, she walks to the window and stares out of it. Wonders what Nicky is doing right now. She takes a deep breath and tries to control her feelings. "There's a little girl back home with a broken heart," she says softly, mostly to herself. Then she turns to Dmitri. "Look what we've caused." Once again, Dmitri tries to wrap his arms around his wife, but she pulls away from him. He glares at her as he walks away, and as he does so, her temper flares.""You forced me out of my home, the home we raised our boys in, and now I've lost Nicky because of you, too!"

Tears finally spill down her cheeks as she sobs, holding onto the window for support. "I could deal with losing the restaurant. Why couldn't you? Why did you get involved with them? Nothing was worth this." Heaving cries rip through her chest and she can't catch her breath. "I've lost everything, Dmitri. Our boys are grown up now. They don't need me. But Nicky? Nicky needs me. Do you know she struggles to fall asleep? Or that she lived on take-out before I came along? Did you not see the scrap-" Galina stops herself and quickly rummages through her bag. "I didn't bring it with me." She shakes her head, and leans onto her hands. Her face is full of despair and she tries her best not to break down. Glancing up at Dmitri, she squints at him in the half light. "She may have needed me, but I needed her, too. Did you ever think about that? I was home to her. And do you know what? I found a home in her, too."

 **Here's the new chapter! I hope you liked it. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. Thank you to _nofearonlylove_ for helping me out with this chapter. :) Thanks for all your lovely reviews on the last chapter also...I try to update as soon as I possibly can. :) **


	21. Chapter 21

Nicky takes a drag from her cigarette, her forehead furrowing, and then she shakes her head. "Fuck no, man. Not happening." Her voice is worn from smoking and raspy, but has the same defiance as when she was twelve years old. The smoke hurts her chest and she takes a clean breath in uncomfortably.

"Why not?" The girl in front of her asks, her tone colored with annoyance. "It's your fault your mom cut you off."

Nicky's gaze quickly turns into a glare as she throws the cigarette to the floor, crushing it like a bug with the sole of her boot, "Marka did not cut me off," she says bitingly. "She maxed out her card for the month." The lie sounds hollow even to Nicky and she replays Marka's words in her head.

 _"I am your mother. I love you. But I am no match for you. Only you can save yourself at this point."_

Who else had ever tried to save her? The question stung and made her feel like there was no air in her lungs, and she clasped the necklace hanging around her neck tightly. "I don't care. I'm not selling the necklace. Sell your own fucking jewlry if you wanna fund your habit." Nicky glares at her, and takes another cigarette from her pocket. She takes another drag as she tries to distract herself from the itching of her skin.

The girl holds up her wrist. A thin silver bracelet hangs from it. "You think this'll make anything? A dollar, maybe five bucks. That St Joseph's will get ya at least a hundred. It's old," she says.

Nicky scoffs for two reasons. First, she doesn't believe it's worth nearly as much and second, nothing she could say would convince her to part with it. It was the only thing she had left, apart from the scrapbook that still sat in her bedroom drawer, safe from harm and well-thumbed through.

"No," she says, inhaling deeply from her cigarette once again. Nicky shakes her head, pushing her hair out of her eyes. She repeats herself to make her message clear. "No."

The girl quickly changes tact. "You'll get money soon, right? Twenty years old," the girl says with a smirk. "I wonder what you'll treat yourself to."

Nicky tilts her head to one side. "I doubt it. Birthdays were never really a thing in my house." Her eyes soften as she recalls her twelfth birthday - the first birthday cake she'd ever had made for her. A hint of a smile brightens her sullen features. "I've got plans, anyway."

"Oh yeah?" The girl asks, remaining unimpressed. Nicky nods sharply.

"Mhm." She wonders briefly if Lorna would want to see her, like they had for many birthdays past. She recalls the last time they saw each other, and winces.

 _"This is the last time," Lorna breathed through the kiss, her hands tugging impatiently at Nicky's skirt. "I got Vince to think about," she says, attempting to ignore how nice Nicky's lips felt against her collarbone._

 _Nicky laughed. "Remember when it was Christopher?" She asks nostalgically, her eyes opening to meet Lorna's brown eyes and pursed red lips. Lorna nods dismissively, not really wanting to think about Christopher or Vince or anyone else when Nicky's body and soul were entwined into her own, merged together like colors on a paint palette._

 _"You promise?" Nicky asked, always testing the boundaries between a joke and someone getting hurt. "Cause you promised the last time." Her tone is even but the words come out harsher than she intended them to, and Lorna's hands hovered over her chest, finally falling and caressing Nicky's neck gently._

 _"Is it ever a promise?" Lorna asked, her voice quiet and small. Nicky's eyes fluttered closed, and her hand brushes the stray hairs from her face. She didn't have the nerve to meet Lorna's eye. She shook her head. Her eyes narrowed as she sighed._

 _"Never a promise. Always a threat."_

 _"Nicky, don't do this..."_

 _"What?" Nicky asked. "Do what? She let her eyes roam over the room, the floor, out of the blinds they hadn't bothered to shut - anywhere but her eyes. "I don't want to be a comfort blanket to you. Embarrassed to be seen with but can't be without. I don't want to be your dirty little secret. Something you'll just leave when you get bored of."_

 _"You're nothing like that, you know that. And I wouldn't do that to you."_

 _"Do I?" Nicky heaves a sigh, her eyes sparkling. "And wouldn't you? Everyone else has."_

Nicky nods again. "Definitely."

* * *

Galina's apartment was eerily silent as she clutched the phone desperately to her ear. "You're serious?" Galina says, her face lighting up. When the phone had rung, she'd answered it with a weary hello. She'd had no idea what the outcome of her phone call could be. The lines on her face were deeper. Her red hair speckled with wisps of gray as she'd lapsed with her dyeing. But her eyes were the same deep blue, and they sparkled with intrigue like they always did. Her words are choked up with emotion and she struggles to hold the handset with a shaky hand. "Thank you," she says. "And you're sure? He's dead? What about the rest of them?" Red nods as the voice on the other end of the phone explains. "Mhmm. I see. Thank you," she repeats. She replaces the phone onto the wall with a trembling hand, and sits down heavily. For a moment, she just stares into the distance.

Then she smiles, and her laugh rings out in the empty room. A hysterical laugh fills all the crevices of the apartment and she holds her head in her hands. She's still in a state of shock when Dmitri walks through the door, tired and weary from his long working day. Galina instantly stands, and for the first time in over a decade, her voice was hopeful.

"It finally happened," she weeps, falling into Dmitri's arms. Dmitri frowns, and holds his wife at arm's length.

"What? Did Vasily get a girl?" He laughs throatily as Galina frowns at him. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and for once isn't embarrassed for them to have fallen.

"He's dead. Vadim's dead," she says quickly. Dmitir's face turns from one of amusement to a horrified expression, realization dawning on him. "You know what this means?" She asks, when he doesn't reply. "It's over."

"He's dead," Dmitri sits down, a parallel to Galina just moments ago. "Alexi told you." It isn't a question but a statement, and a resigned statement at that. His voice is flat. Nothing like the excited tremor that plagues her speech.

Galina's face morphs into a confused expression. "Yes," she says slowly, "Aren't you excited? We can go home," she says quickly. The unspoken ones are the ones that mean the most. _At last._

" _Ne skazat', chto_ ," he says, shaking his head. "This _is_ home." He gestures to the pictures on the walls. "Is that not you and me?"

"Don't say what?" Galina says angrily, ignoring his plea for her to look at the pictures. They were old and ugly and he was the one who'd put them up in the first place. "My home is back in America. With my boys. With Nicky," she insists, her voice growing louder with each word.

"The boys are grown now. You don't need to mother them. And Nicky would be what, twenty-two?" His tone is dismissive. She rolls her eyes. _Like twenty-year-olds are so grown up._

"Nineteen," Galina coreects her voice trailing away. "Twenty in a few days." She shakes her head again. "Children don't stop being your children because they grow up." Galina rubs her temples. "You knew," she says. She scrapes her hair back from her face, taking a deep breath. "Why didn't you tell me? I'm your wife!" she yells. "You knew how much it meant to me." The sadness fades away and is quickly replaced with anger, a red rage that engulfs her. Her eyes pierce through him and she turns away, heading for their bedroom.

The suitcase that hadn't been touched in so many years had a layer of dust on top. Galina blew the debris gently away, smiling as the dust flew into the air and settled again. It was a representation of her life - she had been comfortable in New York, raising Nicky and her boys. Then everything got blown away from her and she was a mess. Now, finally, things seemed to be settling down again. Dmitri watches her from the doorway.

"What are you doing?" He asks, his voice thick with emotion. "Please don't do this," he adds. Galina glances up at him. Raises her eyebrows. The suitcase lid is opened with a heavy thud as she glares at him. With a tenderness that is foreign to this home, she reaches into her bedside table and takes out a bundle of envelopes, bound together with a single pink ribbon. 'Return to sender' had been scrawled on every single one in a black marker pen. Galina rubs her thumb over the envelopes absently. The letters she had spent so long over. It broke her heart to know they hadn't even been opened. Hadn't even been given a second though before being shoved back into the mail system.

"I'm packing. I thought that was fairly obvious." She states, placing the letters softly onto the bed whilst she packs her other things. Walking over to her wardrobe, she unhooks some of her clothes and starts to fold. "You'd better start packing if you're coming."

"I'm not." Dmitri returns, sitting down on the bed and watching her calculated movements as she folds a sweater. "And you're not either."

"Excuse me?" Galina says, her mouth hardening into a line. "You're not my keeper. You have no fucking right to tell me what I'm doing. I stayed with you once. But enough is enough.

"I need you," he says limply. His weakness infuriates her further and she slams the suitcase lid down heavily.

"Nicky needed me! All those years ago. That little girl needed a mother and you ripped me from her. And now - now, you expect me to stay? To listen to you? All listening to you has ever caused me is pain!" She shakes her head angrily and her nostrils flare.

"You've never forgiven me. How can a husband live knowing that his wife blames him?" Dmitri holds his hands up and looks to his wife desperately.

Galina hauls the suitcase off of the bed and ignores the searing pain in her back, which adds to her anger. She seizes the letters from the bed and waves them in his face. "You know who else hasn't forgiven me?" She slams the letters down onto the bed again and feels like it's her that's been struck. "I need to do this. And if you can't...if you _won't_ support me," she sighs, not bothering to meet his eye because it would just make her temper flare, "Then you'd better keep this." She eases her wedding ring from her finger and places it on the nightstand. She wraps her fingers around the handle of her suitcase.

"I'm going home," she says, smiling even though her marriage just broke down in front of her eyes. She walks out of the door and into the warm outside, basking her face in the sunlight. "I'm going home," she says, to no-one in particular, looking up into the sky. And she knew, that thousands of miles away, home was waiting for her, with the same wild hair and warm eyes. She just hoped she was still welcome.

 ** _I know the update is a little late this week but hopefully the next one should still be up by the weekend. :)  
I hope you liked this chapter. Please leave me a review telling me what you think!_**


	22. Chapter 22

Galina stares around the room. She felt so _tired._ The magnolia walls are plain and uninviting but the soft bed looks like heaven and she instantly settles down onto it, heaving her suitcase to sit next to her. The first thing she unpacks is the letters, which she places down gently on the nightstand. Nicky's name jumps out at her from the paper and she heaves a sigh, running her fingers through her hair. The next thing she unpacks is a wrapped present. Purple wrapping paper encompasses a square present which Galina strokes gently, as if it's Nicky herself. She places it down next to the letters and sits down at the small table. It was a cheap hotel but it would do if she got to see her boys and Nicky. Briefly, she thinks of Dmitri. The thought of him disgusts her and she sighs. It was a betrayal too far and she didn't know if she'd ever be able to forgive him.

Her mind wanders to Nicky, and she wonders what she'll be like. Will she be as willful as she was before? Defiant? Or has she knuckled down - a hard working business woman? Galina chuckles softly in the silent room. She doubted that. Would she be settled? With a boyfriend? No, a _girlfriend._ Would she still lean on Lorna? There were so many things she wanted to know.

Galina glances out of the window. She'd spent so much time thinking that the light had fallen and the sky was a dusky pink. It was much later now, and though she'd probably have a sleepless night, Galina decides to lay down on her bed and try to get some sleep. Her letters to Nicky and the wrapped present lay next to her in the empty space next to her bed where her husband should have been sleeping. It was a heart wrenching sight, but no more so than Nicky's tear-filled eyes staring into her own when she had to leave all those years ago. Definitely not even touching the pain she had felt when she had begged to go with her. Galina doubted anything would.

When she awakes in the morning, she would be ready to face Nicky once again after all these years. She had been ready from the moment she left. That thought floated around in her mind until her eyes closed and she met a dark abyss - a welcome slumber.

* * *

Galina walks the street she had come to know so well. She wasn't certain that Marka and Nicky still lived there; she was certain of anything anymore. But one foot in front of the other, she walks until she reaches the row of houses that had always provided her with some comfort. As she steps forward, she sees a group of people. Instantly, her brow knits together. It was clear what they were doing - and if there was anything Galina despised more than anything, it was drugs.

She shakes her head. So young. A waste. As much as she yearned to help more lost souls, she had one in particular in mind, and she had a head of wild hair and a sweet little laugh, and she was just bursting with good ideas and love and hope…

Galina stops herself mid-thought, a wan smile appearing on her face. Nicky wasn't twelve years old anymore. It was a sad thought, but her reality now. As much as it was simpler back then, not everything now would be fixed with a band-aid and a story. Galina sighs heavily and pushes on. One face in the group stood out to Galina. Perhaps she'd been staying at her hotel...? Galina stares conspicuously for a moment until their eyes meet.

The older woman recoils. This girl, scrawny and ashen, was her Nicky. Devastation hits her in waves as she takes her in. Black circles underlined her beautiful eyes, the doe eyes that darted from place to place. Her makeup was smudged all over her face. How did the little girl with bookshelves so tidyin her bedroom turn into such a hot mess? Nicky scrapes her hair back and laughs, her cigarette stuck between two shaking fingers. It was in that moment that Galina finally saw a tiny bit of her Nicky...the free spirit, the quirky smiles, the little girl she had grown to love.

Gripping the present tight, Galina takes a step towards Nicky and the group surrounding her. The frown that darkens Nicky's face makes Galina's heart sink and the snickers coming from the other kids infuriated her. When people laughed at her, her temper flared, and a glare appears on her face. As Galina gets closer, it's clear that Nicky's going through several different emotions at once.

But she recognizes her. It hurts that the first thing she does is to turn back to her friends. What Galina can't see is the panicked look on her face. The wrinkling of her forehead as she clutches her necklace. The fluttering of her heart and the drop of her stomach.

"Nicky." Galina says. It's not a question - not a request for her to turn around. Just a statement. _I'm back. I never stopped loving you. Please forgive me._ As Nicky turns around, her face taking on a pained expression, Galina lets out a sob. "Nicky," she cries, and this time it's more confident. This time she's sure, as Nicky stares into her eyes, that she never stopped loving her either. For now, she could ignore the anger blaring in her brown eyes, too - because there was things past the anger, real things to cling onto and claw back when Nicky inevitably started screaming at her.

Nicky swallows hard. Her eyes are hard but glistening with tears, and she ignores the jibes from her so-called friends, who ask who the lady is. She shakes her head in a clear brush off, attempting to push them out of her mind completely. She takes a deep breath and her head swims. "Leave me alone." Galina stands, crushed, in front of Nicky. Her shaking hands hold out the present like a life-line to Nicky. Nicky snatches it away and shoves it into her bag. Nicky's voice cracks as she fights tears. "Please."

Galina doesn't listen. When had the girl ever spoken sense? She cups her hands around Nicky's face, watching the tears run down her cheeks. She was a little girl again, shrunken and small. She doesn't fight to get away. The group Nicky had gathered earlier disbands and disperses around the street, leaving Galina and Nicky alone. Heavy sobs wrack Nicky's body, and a few stray tears fall down Galina's face, too. "Why didn't you take me with you?" Nicky asks. Her eyes are trained to the ground. "I wanted you to take me with you."

"Oh, _malyshka.."_ Galina says. She bites her lip and brushes hair out of Nicky's watery eyes. "Don't you see? I wanted to. Marka would have never let me. Nor would Dmitri. You weren't mine to take." Galina takes a deep breath and brushes tears away from Nicky's cheeks, shaking her head. She underlines Nicky's tired eyes with her finger, concern on her face. "Maybe I should have..." she murmurs. "And you wouldn't have resorted to this." Galina takes hold of Nicky's arm and pulls up her sleeve, another sob escaping from her lips. "You know better than this, Nicky. Anything but fucking _drugs."_

"I made a mess," Nicky whispers, like a child who's spilled a drink at dinner. Her eyes meet Galina's and they're full of not quite fallen tears. "I didn't mean for it to happen...I just wanted to forget..." Nicky's hand reaches up to her necklace, which Red chokes back a sob about. She'd kept it all these years. "I thought it was supposed to protect me," she admits in a childish cry.

"No, _milaya,_ " Red says, shaking her head pitifully as she plays with the necklace. "That was my job..." she tucks a strand of Nicky's limp hair behind her ear, biting her lip. "And I failed."

Neither of them says anything for a moment and Nicky takes the chance to compose herself. "I have to go," she says finally, not meeting Galina's eye.

"What?" Galina stammers. "I just got here. Don't leave yet. Stay - tell me about your life," the garbled words come out almost as a plea. "I want to know everything about you."

Nicky plays with her fingers as she refuses to look at Red, shaking her head slightly. "No," she says with a small laugh. It isn't funny, but nothing so far seems to have broken the tension. "You know...I really fucking missed you." Her tone is sharp and she doesn't sound relieved to be finally with Red again. Instead, anger colors her voice and she's turning away from Red again. Galina reaches out and touches Nicky's arm, which just achieves Nicky flinching away from her.

"Nicky, I missed you too-" Galina begins, her voice cracking with emotion.

"No!" Nicky yells, shaking her head as she closes her eyes. She's overwhelmed and it's clear to see that her disbelief was slowly melting away into fury. "You left me with her. If you were just gonna leave me, you shouldn't have loved me!" Nicky pulls at her hair anxiously, biting the inside of her cheek so hard that she tastes blood. "I trusted you. I guess I was stupid then too."

"Nicky, I tried! I didn't know. I wanted to stay with you more than anything. Why do you think I'm back?" Galina's temper flared and she attempts to calm herself down because she knows Nicky's anger is totally rational and reasonable. "I missed so much. Don't make me miss this, too. You're twenty years old soon." Galina tries to brush her fingers over Nicky's face but she's pushed away. "Please, Nicky."

Galina glances up at Nicky, and her face is contorted in pain. "Nicky?" Galina asks softly, her hand reaching up to steady her. _"Malyshka?"_ As Galina's hand ghosts over Nicky's spine, she doubles over. "What's happening? What's wrong?"

When Nicky won't (or can't) reply, and the wheezing of her breathing seems to increase tenfold, panic rises in Galina's chest and she grabs Nicky's phone from her pocket, quickly punching in 911. "Ambulance, please," she says breathlessly, as Nicky watches with drooping eyelids. She listens intently. "My nineteen year old...I don't know what's wrong with her," she says quickly, answering the dispatcher. "Please send help." There's a desperation that's foreign to both Galina's lips and Nicky's ears. No-one had caused Galina this much trouble, not even three strapping boys, and in turn, no-one had worried about Nicky enough to be rambling and desperate.

Nicky looks up at Galina helplessly, her lips tingeing a bluish hue. Her voice croaks as she tries to speak - tries to say something, anything that might mean something if these are going to be her last words because her throat feels so tight and her chest is constricting...

"Shh," Galina says. Using up all of her strength - and god knows she didn't have much left - she holds Nicky up by cradling her in her arms, like she had done so many times when she was a little girl. "Everything will be okay. I'm not going anywhere." Nicky doesn't say anything, just tries to breathe through her chest heaving for air. A silent question hangs in the air - one Nicky had asked all those years ago. _Is that a promise?_

Galina brushes hair off of Nicky's burning forehead and curses herself for not realizing sooner. "I promise, _malyshka."_

 ** _Hopefully you liked this! So Nicky and Red are finally reunited. Please tell me what you think in a review. It's my birthday today so that can be my present! ;)_**


	23. Chapter 23

Marka places her hands on the front desk of the hospital. Her eyes glisten but no tears fall. The perfect illusion of a concerned mother. "Nicole Nichols, please," she asks, her keeping her composure as the nurse types Nicky's name into her computer. She nods, her eyes flickering up to meet Marka's in a sympathetic glance. "She's still in surgery. Only immediate family members, I'm afraid."

"Yes," Marka says absently, her head nodding as she stares through the double doors beside her, wondering where Nicky was right now. "Of course."

"You're more than welcome to take a seat in the waiting room, though, Mrs..?"

Marka's gaze falls back on the nurse. "Hmm? Nichols. Mrs Nichols. I'm Nicole's mother." She shakes her head, trying to come out of her foggy haze. This might be the last chance she got to see her daughter before she was lying in a coffin. The thought sobers her and she pushes her hair back gently, her hand landing to rest gently on the nurses. "Please, tell me where my daughter is."

The nurse slowly nods. "I assumed the lady with Ms Nichols was her mother. I'm sorry," she says as her brow creased, deep in thought. "Does she have any older female relations? Was she with any older friends?"

Marka shakes her head desperately, her brow knitting together. She didn't understand what this had to do with anything. Her bottom lip trembled like she was going to cry, but no tears fell. "I don't know. I don't keep tabs on her. She's twenty!"

The nurse nods, her eyes falling to the file in her hands, "Tomorrow." The thought of Nicky not even seeing her twentieth birthday causes Marka's composure to crash. "Right through those double doors, Mrs Nichols," the nurse continues as her pager beeps. She looks down quickly and then meets Marka's eye, offering her a relieved smile. "She's just out of surgery."

Marka's footsteps, which had been light and quick as she rushed through the doors of the hospital, begin to slow as through a glass door she sees a tangle of wild hair fanned out messily on a white pillow. _Would Nicky even be happy to see me? Would I make her worse?_ Another thought flashes through her mind and she's ashamed to think that it's not about her daughter's health but the state of her hair. A small smile comes to her face as she remembers a five year old Nicky with her wild curls.

"She looks like a hobo," Marka's mother had remarked with a curt shake of her head. "Why do you let her have that hair? It needs a good brushing and a haircut." The very next day, Marka had dragged a reluctant Nicky to the best hairdresser in town and sat her down in the chair. Marka told the hairdresser frantically that she needed it cut short so that it was manageable and neat. The little girl screamed so loudly and for so long that Marka never bothered taking her again. She had always loved curls anyway...

The nurse reaches out in front of Marka and pushes the door for her, only seeing a mother in distress, none of her internal battle. As she gripped her purse close to her chest and her eyes crinkled in concern, Marka looked much more vulnerable and younger than usual.

A raspy, concerned voice spills out of her mouth as she looks at her daughter's sleeping form. "Oh, Nicole..." she breathes. "What have you done this time?" Marka's eyes wander to Nicky's hair, and she sees scarlet nails raking through her scalp tenderly.

"She's asleep," Galina says, because 'asleep' sounds so much better than 'sedated'. She looks up to Marka, who can't quite seem to make her mouth work as she stares at the woman she had entrusted her daughter with all those years ago. Her fingers caress Nicky's forehead like she never could, and her motherly touch comes so easily to her. She doesn't even flinch when Nicky stirs. Her voice is low and comforting as she turns her attention to Nicky. "Shh, shh..it's okay. I'm here. You're safe, _malyshka."_

Marka closes her eyes for a moment, a shaky breath escaping from her lips. "Why are you here?" She finally manages to string a sentence together and Red's eyes only meet hers for a second before they're glued back to Nicky.

Galina's lips brush the back of Nicky's hand, the distinct smell of hospitals filling her nostrils. It brought her back to the birth of her babies, and she so wished that Nicky could have been one of them. The closest she can get to that is nursing her back to health now. She dances her fingers along Nicky's knuckles as she tries to think of an answer for Marka's question. Why was she here? "She needs me," Galina offers.

"I'm her mother." Marka immediately shoots back. Her pride can't handle seeing another woman nurse her child, but she can't physically bring herself to run her fingers through Nicky's hair herself. She didn't reach out for her child. She repulsed herself. What kind of mother couldn't touch their own daughter? "She should need _me._ "

"She did need you," Galina says quietly, smoothing Nicky's hair softly. "She's twenty fucking years old tomorrow. There were plenty of skinned knees and broken hearts before now." She ignores the stare of the nurse adjusting Nicky's medication through her IV and continues, "Where were you then? Or does it look bad if you get the call that you're daughter is dead whilst you're at the country club?" Red scoffs. "Sometimes you can chose family. It's not always about blood."

Nicky's eyelids flutter and her whole body tenses in pain as she begins to awaken. The nurse glances down. "Nicole?"

"It's Nicky," Red says quickly, craning her head to get a good look at Nicky. Her eyes were unfocused and the nurse shines the light to check her pupils. Her whole mouth was dry as she tries to keep her breathing steady. The nurse nods and writes on Nicky's charts.

"She's fine. She'll be groggy from the surgery and we'll go through the possible complications afterwards. Keep talking to her whilst she wakes up. It'll help her feel more secure." She shakes her head, gently touching Nicky's sheet. "And talk some sense into her, won't you? All of this for a bad needle. Heroin and cocaine were found in her blood in the tox screen."

Red can barely breathe and Marka throws her hands up in the air in despair. "Cocaine...a fun new choice for her," Marka says without any real conviction in her voice. She sits down on the hard metal chair on the other side of the room. Her perfectly manicured nails drum against the metal of the end of the bed.

Galina concentrates on Nicky, straightening out her sheets and humming to her quietly. Marka watches out of the door. The people rushing past with their own tragedies made her forget her own. If they knew nothing else, it would be that it would be a long night for the both of them.

* * *

Machines beep noisily as Nicky begins to come round from her anesthetic. Her hands feel around blindly and she finds her IV immediately, and she gives the tape a hard tug. Galina holds her hand tightly to stop her from pulling it out. "Shh, shh. Don't do that." She tugs gently on one of Nicky's curls. "You'd find trouble anywhere, wouldn't you...?" Red chuckles softly. Marka watches the ease in which she encourages, scolds, comforts, helps and persuades Nicky with the fewest of words. It was baffling to her. What was more strange was that even in her intoxication, Nicky obliges, and simply holds onto Galina's hand like a lifeline.

Nicky stirs, her eyes scrunching up under the bright lights of the hospital. A private room allowed her to come round in privacy, and as Galina encourages her to open her eyes, Marka watches anxiously from the other side.

It wasn't that she didn't care. It was just that she didn't know how to be a mother. She didn't _want_ to be a mother. It had never been in her life plans - never even crossed her mind as she held her relative's babies. It wasn't cruelty that stopped her from holding Nicky's hand - it was apathy. And by now, any attempt she could have made would have been met with a great deal of resistance.

"Are you in pain?" Galina asks, straight to the point as soon as Nicky's eyes flutter open. Nicky nods slowly and watches as she reaches over and hits the button for the nurse.

"Mhmm." Nicky confirms, taking a deep breath. "I'll be alright. It's nothing serious," she says quickly. She doesn't know why she says it. An IV is stuck in her arm and there are monitors measuring every single beat of her heart. Nothing had ever been _as_ serious.

"Don't talk." Galina instructs her. It's for several reasons - firstly, Red doesn't want to hear how much Nicky devalues her life. It was precious and she needed to have the desire to protect it at all costs, not throw it away. And secondly, the strain in her voice made her wince, and if she could close her eyes and pretend Nicky was still twelve years old and sick with the flu, it made her want to cry less. She reaches down and removes the present from Nicky's purse, passing it to her. "Open it, then," she says. "It's almost midnight. Close enough."

"It's not that close to midnight." Nicky says as she rips the paper from the present. "Oh," she says, turning the present over in her hands. She sets it down next to her. "Thank you."

Red opens the book up. "You know what it is?"

Nicky nods. "The book you read to your sons. At Christmas, I remember." She manages a small smile. "When did you get this?"

"A while back. I saw it in a shop window. Do you like it?" Red asks hopefully. Nicky nods. Hesitantly, and taking a lot of care to be tactful, she reaches inside her bag. "I have something else for you."

"Yeah?" Nicky asks, not looking at her. She's focused on anything but Galina. Anything that will make her realize how much she still loves her. _She left me. She left me. She didn't miss me. I didn't miss her. She left me._ "What is it?"

"You don't have to take them...if you don't want to." Red places the pile of letters on Nicky's bed, and tries not to show how desperate she feels. Marka watches with a piqued interest. "I didn't forget about you. I never would. I know you didn't read them when I sent them, but..."

Nicky's head snaps up and she glances at Galina. "What are you talking about?" Her gaze falls to the pile of letters leaning against her leg. Her fingers brush against them and she unties the ribbon holding them together. "What are these?"

"I don't think that's a good idea." Marka says, coming to a stand and placing her hand over the letters. "This will just upset you. Set back your progress." Her eyes look into Galina's pleadingly and she doesn't move her hand. Nicky tugs the letters back with a glare.

"Too bad. I'm full of bad ideas." Nicky parrots the words Marka had said to her once as her mother cringes. "These are addressed to me. Why didn't I get them?" She glares at Marka again, and rips open the first envelope. Marka sits down again with her fingernail in her mouth, her forehead creasing as Nicky's eyes scan the page.

 _My dearest Nicky,_

 _I know you're probably upset with me. Angry, even, and that's okay. I arrived safely but I can't tell you where I am because that would jeopardize your safety, and as much as I miss you, I can't do that to you. All you need to know is that I am okay, and that none of this is your fault._

 _Malyshka. I'll come back for you one day, as soon as I can. You'll probably be older, and I will, too. But you'll still be you and I'll still be me and a mother never stops loving her child, which you have grown to be, no matter the distance or time. Don't let Marka upset you too much - I am sure she will be trying to help you, and if not, when have you ever needed anyone's help?_

 _Remember what I told you on that very first day. If anyone tries to get in your way, if anyone tries to tear you down...fuck them. You don't need them._

 _I'm so sorry._ _I'll write again soon. Take care of yourself. Take care of Lorna - and let her take care of you._

 _All my love,_

 _Red_

Nicky looks up from the letter with fresh tears glazing her eyes over. "You kept these from me? You made me think that she didn't care! Like she was like you!"

"Nicky, please-"

"No, just go! I don't want you here." The machines next to Nicky begin to beep wildly and Galina stands, wrapping her arms around Nicky protectively and trying to calm her down.

"I think it's best if you left, Marka." Marka leaves with a concerned frown contorting her usually pretty features, watching her daughter being comforted by a lady she hadn't seen in years. It was a wrench but also a relief to be free of the room. She just needed a break...a break and then she would come back and be a better mom.

"It's okay, Nicky," Galina comforts her. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." She rocks the girl in her arms and sits on the bed next to her, perching on the edge of the mattress. Returning to old habits, and trying to get Nicky's sobs to subside - because she was just _exhausted,_ mentally and physically - Galina opens up the book. " _There once was an old lady who tried to keep everything exactly perfect..."_

* * *

"Please," Nicky's voice breaks as she pleads with the woman who had the audacity to call herself a mother, her mother. Her voice is breathy and she's finding it hard to make her chest rise and fall. "Please just get the damn thing." Her eyes swivel to the doorway and she hopes that Galina takes a long time with the hot drinks that she had asked her for.

Marka doesn't look at Nicky. She can't bring herself to. Instead, her gaze falls out of the window and she wishes she was anywhere but here. Out with her friends sipping champagne and cocktails. At a romantic restaurant with Paolo, her fork dipping into caviar entrees as she laughed. She sighs as her eyes lock with Nicky's. "Why? You nearly died. Why does this matter?" Frustration ebbs into her tone and she shakes her head despondently. "It's just a book."

Nicky heaves a sigh, her chest bursting with waves of pain. When she tries to think, her head goes foggy and the words she wants to say disappear into thin air, leaving her stammering. It wasn't like the drugs she was used to. These left her _completely_ inebriated; it was difficult to tell real from fantasy. "Like they were just letters? Because you owe me! You never told me. You know how much that hurt? I thought she'd abandoned me. That I was completely forgettable...worthless. It's not like you ever cared about me to change that opinion."

Marka's breath hitches as she listens. Her own head feels foggy from the wine she drank earlier that evening. She sighs as she watches her daughter's heart monitor beep wildly and as Nicky throws her head back. "Fine! Fine," she relents. For the first time in her life, Marka puts Nicky before her own feelings. "If this is what will make you happy, then I'll get your scrapbook."

 **Hey guys! I hope you liked this one. Thank you so so much for all of the reviews on the last chapter, I appreciate it so so much. Please leave a review telling me what you think and what you want to see!**


	24. Chapter 24

The sun shone brightly through the open window and for the first time in a long time, Nicky felt hope rising in her aching chest. A nurse adjusted the buttons on her pain management IV, and it gave her a warm, sleepy feeling that allowed her to relax. Nicky rests her head back on her pillows and closes her eyes.

"Wake up, _sonya_ _._ I didn't travel all the way over here to watch you nap." Her eyes flutter open as she hears the familiar voice resounding in her otherwise empty room.

"Mhmm," Nicky says quietly, her fingers entwining with Red's as she comes to sit next to her. "I'm tired, though," she admits, a sigh escaping from her lips. Her eyes swivel to the doorway. Marka hadn't been back yet. Nicky scoffs. When had she ever kept her promises?

Red cuts into Nicky's thoughts with a curt thought of her own. "I know. You're tired because you're sick, and you're sick because you were fucking stupid." Galina raises an eyebrow as Nicky glares at her. "Now you need the rehab you've been offered." Galina's hand works through Nicky's curls, gently untangling the knots that had managed to build up. "You're still my smartest, right? Vasily's a close second, but by the time he was born I was too tired to make sure he wasn't running head-first into walls."

Nicky rolls her eyes, relaxing into the feeling of Red's fingers raking through her scalp. She hides a smile. It was nice to be _somebody's_ for once. "I don't need rehab..." Nicky says softly, not quite meeting Galina's eye. "I've been before. It never helps."

"Oh, really," Red says, remaining unimpressed. She gently tugs on the end of Nicky's hair, exhaling heavily as her expression turns serious. "You almost died. I imagined you for all of those years I was away. I knew you'd have the same brown eyes, the same wild hair..." Red sig hs, her head shaking sadly. "Such a bright little girl. I wanted so much for you." Red swallows hard, trying to find the strength to keep going, because God knows Nicky needed her. "When you carry a baby, you want the best for it, you dream about what they can turn into. I had dreams for each of my boys, and though I didn't carry you inside of me, I still carried you, and I still had all of those dreams for you."

Nicky turns her away from Red, her eyes closing. Even those she was being reprimanded, the mere sound of Galina's voice was enough to lull her into a sense of security, false as it may be. "Yeah?" Nicky dares to ask. The sleepy feeling had disappeared and though she had turned away, she hung on every word that came out of Red's mouth.

A sob erupts from Galina. Totally unsuspecting of it, Nicky doesn't quite know where the sound comes from until she continues, "I need to know. Did you do this to punish me?"

Silence fills the room. It's deafening to the both of them, yet Nicky can't seem to grasp the right words for a few seemingly endless moments. Nicky shakes her head emphatically, tears spilling from her own eyes. "No," she says indistinctly, her voice thick with emotion. It takes another few minutes for her to admit the truth, and when she does, the words break Galina's heart. "I just wanted to...forget."

"Forget _what?"_ Galina asks desperately. Her hands reach out for Nicky, who curls herself into a ball and shies away from her touch. "Your life is so precious!"

"Everything!" Nicky says hoarsely, shaking her head despondently. "I didn't want to remember anything. It was all hopeless. Marka always was, but I didn't know you would leave me. I didn't know what to do. It was just fun, at first...I just wanted to feel happy for a while. My friend gave me some..." Nicky shrugs. "It helped. It was just a bonus that Marka finally noticed me." Nicky wipes at her eyes roughly. "So no. I didn't go from a bright little girl to junkie just like that. And it wasn't to punish you. I was completely alone. I didn't know what to do. At least the drugs made me happy." Happy wasn't the right word and Nicky searches for an adequate explanation whilst Galina processes the information. "Or at least made me forget what made me so fucking miserable."

"Drugs almost killed you!" Red says, her forehead creasing in concern and blood running ice cold.

Nicky turns over in her bed, staring at Galina with empty eyes. "And you think something else wouldn't have? The drugs gave me something to live for. Another fix. Hope that if nothing else, I could kick this habit one day." Her eyes fill with tears that should have never been there. "Marka probably would have preferred suicide. A coffin is cheaper and at least she could blame my absent father for how I ended up. A dead kid is better than a junkie in the Christmas card." Nicky shakes her head. Her guard is back up and her first line of defense is sarcasm. "Don't feel bad, though. It was a rush. Too bad I didn't get to steal a car or something. That could've been fun."

"Nicole Nichols!" A harsh voice breaks into the room and Nicky immediately cringes away from it. Galina sits up straighter to face Marka as she enters the room, handbag gripped firmly on one elbow and a tote bag slung lazily over her shoulder. Her voice is distressed and her expression is stricken. "Did you just say you wanted to steal a _car?"_

Red looks interested, her eyebrows raised curiously and her chin perched on her hand. She wonders briefly if Marka had stepped up whilst she was gone; she doubted it very much, but by the shocked look on her face she was genuinely concerned for her daughter's mental state which was a welcome change.

"Do you know how many of my associate are benefactors of this hospital?" She hisses, her voice low. In a movement that Galina can only describe as entirely Nicky, Marka scrapes her hair back and places her hand on her hip. "So don't you dare let me hear you saying things like that. They could be here!" Marka's rant only stops as her eyes fall on Galina. "Mrs Reznikov. I didn't know you'd be here again," she says pleasantly, her whole demeanor changing completely. "Thank you for showing concern but really, Nicky is my responsibility. Don't feel like you have to stay. " She sighs and glances at Galina apologetically. "Especially when she's talking about breaking the law - _again."_

Galina offers Nicky a reassuring smile. _Don't make this worse. I will deal with her._ She then turns to Marka, who slides down easily onto one of the uncomfortable chairs by Nicky's bedside. Unlike Galina, who seems to disregard the irksomely uncomfortable chairs as a part of visiting Nicky, Marka shuffles awkwardly.

"I don't feel like I have to stay," Red says plainly. "I want to stay."

Marka nods but doesn't say anything. Instead, she reaches inside of her bag and produces a book. Nicky immediately sits up and takes the book in her hands, instantly comforted by its presence. "Not that you deserve it after your earlier comment," Marka adds dryly. She smooths Nicky's blanket down uneasily, unfamiliar with the simple task of trying to comfort her daughter. "I hope this makes you happy," she says earnestly. "I know what you think of me but I don't want to see you unhappy."

Nicky throws Marka a bone. "It does," she says without looking up from the book. "Thanks. I know you're busy - you don't have to stay." The fact that Marka hadn't taken off her coat or put down her handbag gave Nicky a clear warning that she was going to be leaving soon anyway. At least this way she was pushing her away and not being left out in the cold again.

Marka looks relieved as she comes to a stand. "You know I have work. I have meetings all day. I really can't miss them," Marka says needlessly, for Nicky had stopped listening in order to flick through her scrapbook, and Galina was too focused on the book to even care about her presence. Nicky's eyes follow Marka's shadow as she leaves, and then she flickers her eyes up to meet Galina's.

"Is that what I think it is?" Galina asks, reaching over to touch the relic. She smiles as Nicky nods quickly. Galina's fingers ghost over old versions of themselves and she wonders where the time had gone. "Look at your little face. You thought you were so grown up." There's pride in Galina's voice and Nicky isn't used to it.

"I went back to your apartment that week and found it. It was Lorna's idea. I thought you didn't want it." Nicky admits, closing the scrapbook and looking at Galina. She doesn't want to remember that day. It brought back too many bad feelings and she pushes it out of her mind, instead focusing on the memories inside of the book. Red has so many questions she wants to ask and so many things she wants to know. _Where was Lorna? What happened? Did Nicky cry for me? Does she know I cried for her?_ For now, though, she knew the most important thing was to reassure Nicky.

"Lucky there's space at the back of that thing. Our story isn't over. There's plenty more to come," she says. Galina looks at Nicky seriously. "If you keep on the straight and narrow, that is. No more drugs. Every moment I spend with you is special. Every second of your life is precious. You don't want to forget any of it. And I don't want to lose you, not again. And definitely not to death." Galina shudders. "Do you promise me? No more drugs."

Nicky looks up at Galina tiredly. She was just so exhausted. Too tired to argue, too tired to even think about rebelling anymore, and wondering the value of a promise, she nods slowly. "I promise."

* * *

Red leaves the hospital with a newfound hope. If nothing else, Nicky had promised to try, and that's all she could really ask for. This time, she'd be there through it all. Every single tear, every time she needed a hug, whenever she needed to talk, 5AM or 11PM, she would be there. There was nothing more important to Galina Reznikov than her children, and she was going to prove it this time.

A voice pulls Red out of her deep thoughts. "Galina!" Her name echoed in the street as a familiar face ran to catch up with her. Marka stands in front of her, reaching out for her hand. Galina tries not to look taken aback, and wonders if she had ever offered Nicky her touch as freely, for she doubted it when she saw mother and daughter together. It was the first time Marka had called her anything but Mrs Reznikov, and Red tries to engage with her even though her first though was - and always would be - Nicky.

"Ms Nichols," she says curiously, her accent thick. "Sorry. Did you need me for something?"

Marka looks around worriedly. "I don't know if you know how much your visits mean to Nicky, but really...they mean everything to her. I know I haven't been the best mother," Marka admits. _Understatement of the century._ "But I really do want Nicky to be happy, and you...well, you make her happy. I can't do that. I just can't. Please keep visiting. Please." Marka reaches out and grabs Red's arm, gripping tightly as she pleads. Galina wonders if she had ever offered Nicky this type of affection so freely, and she doubted it, from her experience of seeing the mother and daughter stiffly interact. Reaching into her purse, Marka pulls out a wad of money and attempts to thank Galina in the only way she ever knew how. "Take this. And please, keep visiting her."

Galina gently pushes Marka's hand back. As much as she needed (and wanted) the money, was there really a price on her pride or Nicky? Shaking her head and deciding the answer, Red replies. "I don't need your money. I'll visit Nicky because I care. I'll look after her because I love her. I don't need payment and I don't need permission. Especially not yours. I suggest you try doing the same."

* * *

 **Hey! I hope you like this chapter. Please leave a review telling me what you think and I'm sorry for any mistakes. It's late and I didn't proof read.**

 **:)**


	25. Chapter 25

Nicky smiles gratefully as Galina hands her a skirt that she hadn't seen before along with a thick turtleneck sweater. She wrinkles her nose, snorting a laugh and hoping she doesn't offend her. "It's summer, Red."

Red scowls disapprovingly with a shake of her head. "You're sick. Do we have to go through this again?" Though she sounded confident, inside she was incredibly worried about every single minute detail about what went on today. She had spent at least an hour picking out that simple outfit, carefully trawling the stores to find something that she thought Nicky would like and hoping it wasn't something she would have only liked at twelve years old. She was terrified that Nicky would push her away; terrified that any bad move or insensitive comment would drive her away and straight into the arms of drugs again. It made her shudder to think about.

Nicky smiles and shakes her head, causing Galina's heart to slow to normal pace once again. "Nope." It was nice having someone look after her again, and even if Red didn't quite understand that she would be sweating through her detox anyway, she appreciated the gesture. Unfurling the collar from her clammy neck, Nicky's hand scrabble for her necklace. The haze of painkillers were wearing off and she could finally think straight again. Suddenly, she felt sick under the heat of the hospital lights and her head swam from being lightheaded. It wasn't there. She hadn't taken it off in years, and it wasn't where it always was when she needed something to comfort her, it wasn't there for her to curl her fingers around….where was the damn thing?

Red watches Nicky. Finally, when she can't stand to not do anything anymore, her hand comes to rest on Nicky's shoulder. Nicky bats her hand away almost as a reflex, and then shakes her head in an apology. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Nicky says quickly, more of a perfunctory measure than anything else. She roughly pushes her hair out of her eyes and her eyes scan the room, taking in every detail, even the scuffed skirting boards.

Red locks eyes with her in a sympathetic gaze and this time, takes her hand firmly, her thumb rubbing circles on the back of Nicky's hand. "They had to take it off for your surgery. I kept it safe for you." She rummages in her purse and pulls out a scarf. She smiles apologetically as Nicky holds the scarf, seemingly not knowing what to do with it. "It was the only thing I had to keep it in. I didn't want it to get tangled."

"Oh," Nicky says. For the first time since she had come back, Galina sees a small but genuine smile appear on Nicky's face. Trustingly, and so utterly childlike, Nicky turns and pulls her hair over her shoulder so Galina can fasten the necklace around her neck, handing her the small bundle back. Red's fingers brush the back of her neck, and she allows her fingers to graze across her skin for longer than necessary as she swept away stray hairs. It had been so long since her fingers had raked through his hair. So long since her skin had the honor of being so connected to Nicky. She wasn't going to let it pass in the blink of an eye. A snicker escapes from Nicky's lips as the hair tickles her.

"Done," Galina says softly, turning Nicky back around. Giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, Red opens the door and leads Nicky out. The warm air of the morning engulfs them and the sunshine washing over their faces makes Nicky think that maybe, just _maybe_ things would be okay in the end.

* * *

Nicky, as a rule, didn't collect memories. When Galina left, she didn't see the point - there simply wasn't anything worth remembering. Marka had taken photos, like any mother should, of milestones like her graduation or when she'd passed her driving test; any moment that was worthy of the Christmas card, anything that would paint Nicky in some semblance of praiseworthy would be snapped in some halfhearted token photo, that supposedly meant Marka was proud of her only child. On the contrary, her drug induced hazes were conscious efforts to _forget._

So when Red finally bit the bullet and asks, Nicky winces at the mere thought of dredging up memories that were best left in the past. Staring at the blank wall of Galina's hotel room, she sighs."There isn't much worth telling."

"You're talking shit." Galina snaps, blunt as ever, her eyebrows raising as she remains unimpressed. Sick or not, the girl was still capable of being stupid and Galina wasn't afraid to let her know it. "Maybe I'll just ask someone else," she teases.

Nicky's own eyebrows raise and she shrugs. "Go for it," she scoffs. "Who would you even ask?"

Red smooths out the creases in the bedspread as she sits down net to Nicky on the bed. "I don't know," she laughs, "I barely keep up with my own friends, let alone yours...what about Lorna?"

Nicky smiles, resting her cheek on her hand. Her expression is tainted by the tears brimming her eyes. She didn't cry often, but the painkillers still made her feel vulnerable and Galina sitting in front of her still felt surreal. "I'm not sure Lorna would want to see me," she says sadly, but brushing off any real emotion. "I think she gave up on me a long time ago." Nicky sighs, looking off out of the window. "I think everyone did."

Galina doesn't know what to say. The thought of everyone - the thought of _anyone -_ giving up so easily on a twenty year old made her feel sick with guilt. It would have never happened if she had _grown a fucking backbone_ and stayed with her like she always promised she would. It was years too late when she had finally managed to pluck up the courage to do it and now Nicky was broken and isolated. It broke her heart.

Nicky chews at her fingernails, the wrinkle on her forehead deepening. She shrugs and rips a hangnail from her thumb with her teeth, not looking Galina in the eye because if she didn't feel anything as she said it, it meant she didn't care. "It's okay," she says, nodding absently. "I think I would have too."

Galina still feels floored by her statement and runs her fingers along Nicky's chin. "You're tired." She reaches across to the top of the comforter that sat on top of the bed and pulls it down, gently pushing Nicky down so she curls up under the blanket. "Sleep for a little while," she says before Nicky protests, "I'll wake you up later. You won't miss anything exciting, I promise. And it's good for you. You need the rest - that's what the doctors were saying." She untangles Nicky's hair and strokes her forehead. After a few minutes it is clear to see that Nicky is willing to give in to her obvious exhaustion. Watching her so serene in sleep, and so utterly open to anything, Red wonders why Marka hadn't insisted on picking her daughter up from the hospital. She would never understand the woman.

After being satisfied that Nicky was asleep, and her breathing had slowed to a relaxed, zen state, Galina pulls Nicky's purse from her hospital bag. Guilt gnawed at her, but she pushed it aside. It would do Nicky good to see a familiar face...she held the phone in her hands and agonized for a few moments. Would it completely jeopardize Galina's valiant efforts to get Nicky to trust her again? She didn't know, but scrolled through the phone aimlessly, not knowing which button did what and jumping when it beeped.

Instead of a hello, Lorna answers her ringing phone with a small giggle. She just couldn't help it; Vince was just so _funny. "_ Nicky?" Lorna says after a moment of Galina saying nothing. Her tone transforms from giddy to worried. "You haven't called in months...Happy birthday," she says lamely, "I'm sorry I didn't call, I-"

Galina rolls her eyes and cuts Lorna off. "It's not Nicky."

It takes Lorna a moment but there's no forgetting that accent, and she squeals. "Red! You're back...hang on, why are you usin' Nicky's phone? She alright?" t's clear that Lorna's imagination is running away with her and the panic seeps into her voice.

"Nicky will be fine," Galina says ominously. "I'm looking after her." She hesitates for a moment before forcing herself to continue. "Why don't you come over? Wish her a happy birthday in person."

"I don't know, I'm pretty busy..." Lorna says, and Galina hears a male voice in the background laughing with her. Her temper flares but she takes a deep breath.

"She's your best friend," Galina says desperately. "And she needs you."

"She doesn't need me." Lorna says forcefully. Bitterness taints her tone and she exhales loudly. "She made that very clear. Besides, she's small but she can hold her own. She's strong. Always telling people."

"Not when she's just had heart surgery she's not!" Red finally snaps.

"W-what?" Lorna stutters. She steadies herself on her table and clutches the phone tightly, all thoughts of Vince out of her head. "Is she...okay? What happened? Can I see her?"

"You can ask her all of those things yourself when you come. But I don't want any _I told you so's_ or _I knew this would happen_ okay? None of that shit. She doesn't need to be upset like that."

"I know," Lorna says quietly, guilt eating away at her due to her selfishness. Nicky could have _died. "_ Tell me the address and I'll be right over."

* * *

Half an hour later, and with Red having paced a line into the hotel carpet, there was a long-awaited knock on the door. Nicky, stirring by this point, gives Red a pointed but confused look.

Red ignores her and eagerly opens the front door. Lorna gives her an unsure smile as she waits to come in. "You made the right choice," Red says quietly, nodding proudly as she steps aside to let Lorna inside. Nicky's interest is well and truly piqued and she squints at the front door to see who Galina is blocking.

A familiar face gives Nicky a bright but apologetic smile. Nicky can't quite believe her eyes as Galina leads Lorna through to where Nicky sits up in bed. "Lorna?" Nicky asks in confusion.

"Nicky!" Lorna breathes. She instantly bypasses Galina to grasp Nicky's hands, which shake as she nervously takes in the girl she longed to see for weeks now. "I'm sorry I didn't call," she says quickly, and her hands become entangled in Nicky's hair like an addiction she can't break, "I hope you had a happy birthday..." Her eyes trail down to Nicky's scar, which was on show in her lacy pajama top. Her throat catches and she almost can't believe it; how close Nicky had come to not being on this Earth anymore...she couldn't bear the thought.

Nicky chuckles softly, and glances up at Red and back down to Lorna. Her hands entwine with Lorna's and she doesn't even notice the silver band that encompasses her ring finger. It's like old times again as Nicky places her head on Lorna's lap. "Looks like we've got a lot to talk about."

 **A/N:**

 **I hope you enjoy this. Please leave me a review telling me what you think and what you want to see in the next chapter.**

 **Happy new year!**

 **xo**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:**

 **I know, I know. It's been, what, a month?! Too long in any case! Don't lynch me please. ;)**

 **As always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please leave me a review telling me what your thoughts were. I forgot to mention in the last chapter, but thank you to the guest reviewer who left the lovely review for chapter 25. It was so sweet and I adored reading it, thanks so much!**

"How did it happen?" Lorna enquirers after a few moments of silence where they had simply been embracing each other. Her eyes water and she shakes her head, "I can't imagine life without you, Nicky. Never do that again," she implores her, hands raking through wild curls.

Red's eyes remain transfixed on Lorna's ring finger, wondering when Nicky was going to feel the cold betrayal of silver pressed against her flushed skin. It felt as though she was cheating Nicky by not saying anything, but her mouth stayed firmly closed, a tight lipped smile pressed onto her lips.

"Dirty needle, I guess," Nicky says reflectively. She still yearned for drugs though her heart ached under the thick protective layer of bandages. Red raises an eyebrow and shakes her head.

"Don't be so flippant. I could have lost you." Red says quickly, her voice thick with emotion. She bristles as Lorna's fingers entwined with Nicky's and huskily says, "Nicky needs her rest. Don't stay too long." Nicky frowns at Red, her lips quirked down in annoyance. In defiance, her fingers twist with Lorna's even more. She doesn't say anything but her facial expression is telling enough so that Red comes to an uneasy stand, smoothing down her dress as she does so. Her lips pursed, Galina sighs in disappointment for reasons Nicky cannot fathom, and begins for the door. "I'm going to get lunch. I won't be long," she adds pointedly, her eyebrow quirking up at Lorna.

As the door closes behind Galina, Nicky shakes her head. "In her mind, I'm still twelve," she sighs, pointing to the skirt she was wearing. "She bought this for me," she says with a snort of laughter. "Shit, Marka didn't even bother. I don't know why she is." Guilt rains down on her as she remembers that Red always bothered. She always tried her best and Nicky being Nicky...well, she always threw it back in people's faces.

Lorna squeezes Nicky's hand. "Because she loves you. That's not so hard to understand, is it?" Her voice is imploring and her eyes search Nicky's for a sign that she's being taken seriously; that for once, Nicky isn't playing Russian roulette with her life. There's undertones of pleading in her voice.

Nicky shrugs. Her mind drifts to Red, and her strained voice as she announced her departure. It was weird. Red's attitude had turned a whole three-sixty from inviting Lorna over to telling her that she really should leave. Her mind combs back through the limited number of things that it could have been, but her attention is soon on Lorna's fingers trailing over her neck, brushing stray hairs away gently.

The warm touch of her fingers is enough to make Nicky almost entranced, and though her eyelids droop from the seemingly everlasting effects of the hospital sedatives, she felt more alive than she had for weeks...for months. So much that she didn't want the moment ever to end.

Whilst Nicky felt alive, outside, leaning against the grotty hotel exterior, Red felt more exhausted and drained than she had in her entire life. She would go through childbirth a thousand times and not feel as much pain as she did whilst Nicky slowly killed herself. Her head held in her hands, Red attempts to pull herself together enough to go and buy a decent lunch. Her purse was light and she had left everything behind in Russia to come back to her children. Vasily had assured her that he was fine and that his girlfriend was excited to meet her, and she had been so tied up with Nicky's health that she barely had time to think, let alone baby her other kids.

Regret claws at her insides, ripping at her lungs so that she can't breathe, and beating on her ribs as she remembers that she hasn't eaten properly in days. With a weary sigh, she pulls herself up. If mother bears could tend to their cubs after a fight with a pissed alpha-male, she could feed her not-so-little lion cub after what felt like five rounds with Mike Tyson.

There was a small deli just down the street from the hotel - probably as run down as the hotel itself - that Red found herself waiting in line for. Builders surrounded her, waiting hungrily for their sustenance for the day whilst Red contemplated what to get, and indeed, how many to get. She exhales heavily as she comes to the front of the line, and clears her throat. "I'll have two chicken and bacon ranch melt subs and a turkey breast sub, please," she says, counting out the amount owed in pennies with another heaving sigh.

* * *

Lunch clasped in one fist, and feeling more positive now she had had a chance to clear her head, Galina's fist hovers over her hotel room door. In her haste to leave, she had forgotten her key. As her hand almost comes down to knock, she hesitates. The sound of raised voices from behind the door are piercing and curse words flew through the air angrily, spilling out of Nicky's mouth in a stream.

But as soon as she hears the exhausted cries ringing through the room - the awful, shrill yowls that signified that no matter how much she had put up a front, no matter how brave she was being, that she'd had enough - she pushes the door open without a second thought. She can only think of one thing that would make her react in such a dramatic way, and as she walks in the door, Nicky's face is red with emotion and Lorna's hands grip her to try to keep gravity from pulling her in.

"I'm sorry, Nicky," Lorna manages in a stutter, looking up red-faced at Galina, "Red. I didn't mean to upset her...I promise."

Galina bites her lip. "Whether you had good intentions or not, a girl who has just had _heart surgery,_ yes, heart surgery, Lorna, is devastated." She doesn't sound angry, just disappointed. Her eyes drift to Lorna's ring and she hides it behind her other hand. Minutely shaking her head, Red kneels beside Nicky. A sigh escapes from her lip, and she nods at Lorna, not in an unkind gesture.

Lorna sweeps her bag up and grasps the door handle, glancing at Nicky for a final time as she leaves. "I really am sorry, Nichols," she chokes out. "I'll come back real soon." The door swings shut behind her and there's an eerie silence left with her exit. The only sounds resonating in the rooms are Nicky's pitiful cries and Red's ragged breathing.

"I'm just so tired," Nicky murmurs in a futile attempt to show Red that it wasn't Lorna's disclosure that had crushed her. Red nods sympathetically and rubs little circles into her back.

"It's okay, honey," Red breathes out, a laugh passing her lips as she wonders what forces on this earth drew two souls to each other time and time again. "What about lunch?" Red wonders out loud. "I bought your favorite," she offers. When Nicky shakes her head despondently, Red nods and wipes the stray tears that have fallen from her cheeks. "Okay," she says finally. "You need some rest, _malyshka,_ " she says, pulling Nicky up carefully. "It'll seem better by morning, hmm? Go wash your face and brush your teeth. A clean mouth will make you feel good."

Nicky wanders to the bathroom with Red's eyes glued to her back. A hopeful raise of her eyebrows is the only thing that betrays Galina's feelings and she watches as Nicky slovenly splashes water to her blotchy face and roughly brushes her teeth. She stumbles back to the main room and leans on the bed. Like she was a little girl again, Red's hands instantly wrap around her and set her down on the bed gently. A small chuckle escapes from her lips as she tucks the blanket around Nicky. "I suppose you're too old for storybooks and fairy-tales now...all of my children are." Her eyes flutter closed and Red watches over her, the half-light of the mostly closed curtains shining an angelic glow over her curls. The late afternoon felt like midnight and Red felt as tired as Nicky looked. Her breathing evened out as Red hummed a song her mother used to sing to her. Galina strokes her cheek. "I will always protect you."

Nicky squirms under her touch, as foreign as it was familiar. A sleepy mumble fills the air. "I know, Ma."

 _Ma._

She had heard the word a thousand times, probably more. Said in exclamation, happiness, shock, anger, annoyance...but never said like that. And the little troublemaker who had said it was snuffling and snoring in her slumber. Galina breathed out in relief. Nicky was _hers._ She would protect her to the ends of this earth - and know she knew that Nicky believed that too.

She smoothed her hair back, stroking her forehead gently, shaking her head as Nicky wriggled. No, she might not be the easiest to convince, or the easiest person to love with her self-loathing, self-destructive tendencies. But she was hers, and she was so loved, and as she tucked the blanket around her, she knew she would just have to prove it.


	27. Chapter 27

Marka perches uneasily on a chair, glancing up at Nicky, who lolls on Red's hotel room bed lazily. "You can't stay here forever, though," Marka points out unnecessarily, her eyes combing the room and her mouth pursed with displeasure. "It's a dump." Nicky rolls her eyes and ignores Marka, instead focusing on the water spots on the ceiling that perhaps prove that for once, she's right, and turns up the music on her iPod. "Nicky, are you listening?"

This time, she looks over at Marka. _She called me Nicky._ "Yeah, thanks for pointing out the obvious. You're just what I always needed, rambling in my ears."

Marka sighs and leans forward, raising her eyebrows seriously. "This place is damp and old, and Ms Reznikov is clearly struggling financially," she says, whispering the last word though Red was out getting breakfast, "I've found an apartment for you. Nice place; doorman building, water that you can actually drink, and your own bed."

Nicky sits up and pushes her hair from her eyes, regarding Marka suspiciously. She pulls her earphones out and eyes Marka. "What's the catch?"

"I am your mother, you know. I want the best for you." It sounds unconvincing to everyone in the room and finally Marka looks up at Nicky. "Fine. One of my associates funds a Narcotics Anonymous group there. She wants to promote it, and well, she heard about you. But you'll like the building, Nicole," Marka says, once again building a wall between her and her daughter, "it has a pool and gym!"

Nicky nods distractedly, wondering when swimming or indeed exercising with a bunch of gym rats had ever been one of her interests - and if they had, when Marka had ever taken an interest before.

"Okay." Nicky says with a shrug. "I'll move my stuff today." By "stuff" she means herself, the clothes on her back, and the few belongings she has, such as her scrapbook and blanket, but the sentiment is still there.

Marka claps and smiles brightly. "There's a good girl," she says, as if she's talking to a puppy. But Nicky gives her a superficial smile and leans back on the bed again, putting her earphones back in. "I'll tell Red when she gets back."

Marka nods, not really listening now that Nicky agreed to her terms. But suddenly her head jerks like she was slapped and she turns to Nicky again. She sighs irritably and raises an eyebrow. "You don't have to tell her everything, you know. It's becoming worrying. Co-dependency is a trap, Nicole."

Nicky rolls her eyes. "So are government corporations." She gives Marka a moment to get over her anger, and swiftly continues, "I'll be inviting her to move in you know." Marka's sharp intake of breath is all that it takes for Nicky to smirk.

"I don't think that's a good idea, sweet-" Marka begins through gritted teeth and Nicky kicks her legs in the air, completely unaffected by her mother's plight.

"You don't have to," Nicky says easily, humming to her music. She turns to her mother, smiles and shrugs. "But it's Red or nothing."

* * *

"Open the door, Nicky," Galina calls out from the hallway. Nicky throws a quick longing glance back to her bed but trots to the door willingly, and opens it with a genuine smile.

"What the fuck?" Nicky says as soon as she opens the door, her mouth agape. "Did you rob a Whole Foods?" Leaning down and taking one of the many bags that Red struggled to hold, she took a peek into one.

"No," Red laughs easily, taking most of the bags into the room. "Home-cooked food will help your recovery much more than Wendy's," she says disparagingly. Nicky laughs at her snobbery and shakes her head as she places the clean food onto questionable kitchen surfaces. She plays with the handles of the grocery bags and looks up at Galina, her eyes wide.

"Red?" Her suddenly tiny voice cuts through the jolly attitude. Red stops pulling out dishes from the cupboards and inspecting the stains to face Nicky.

"Hmm?" Red says, rubbing her back and sitting on one of the breakfast stools. She beckons Nicky over to sit on the one next to her and rubs her arm when she does so. "You know you can tell me anything - especially anything bad. Now what is it?" Galina had grown used to Nicky's fickleness and confusing nature and whilst she understood why it had come to fruition, it still frustrated her sometimes nonetheless. She tickled under Nicky's chin, happy to see that her face was slowly beginning to round out again as she gained some of the weight that she'd lost back. She had looked so _skinny_ that first day.

Nicky chuckles softly and shakes her head. "It's not bad. Just a...change," Nicky admits, wrinkling her nose.

Red nods understandingly, raising an eyebrow. " _Change._ You always hated it." She laughs and twirls one of Nicky's curls around her finger. Nicky nods as she rips up the grocery bag into tiny shreds. Unsurprisingly, Galina is unimpressed and sweeps the pieces away from Nicky, covering her hands with her own. "Come on. Focus - what's wrong?"

"Nothing, honestly. I just wondered...well, Marka found an apartment for me. I want you to come with me...you know, if you want to." She tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear self-consciously, miles away from the Nicky that Galina though she knew. She grins cheekily. "There's a pool."

Galina laughs and pulls Nicky into a tight bear hug. "Well...if there's a pool."

* * *

A moving truck pulls up outside the rundown hotel, the driver peering anxiously out from the window at the two women, glad he had been paid upfront. "Why do you need a moving truck when you have a suitcase full of things here?" Red asks, her forehead wrinkled.

Nicky shrugs and giggles. "I wanted to see Marka's face once we get there." She throws her suitcase in the van and takes Red's bags too, throwing them beside her own. "I think it'll be pretty funny."

Red shakes her head worriedly. "You're naughty. What if she thinks I'm a bad influence?" She frets over her purse, checking and rechecking that she had money and her ID in case anything went wrong. "She'll kick me out."

Nicky copies Red, her curls bouncing as she shakes her head. "Nah," she smiles, stroking her pendant, "Trust me. She's not gonna do that. Relax, Red. This place is a hundred times better than that shitty hotel we're leaving behind. You can invite your boys to dinner - you can cook properly!

Red smiles at the thought but thinks of the practicalities first. "We'll have to go shopping," she says, another worry floating in her mind. "We'll have no utensils. No plates! I think there's a kitchen boutique near the address..." her voice tails off as Nicky laughs.

"Don't worry about it," Nicky says easily, waving a hand at Galina. She grins wickedly. "I sent Marka a list of my demands. I know you're surprised - but utensils _were_ on the list."

* * *

Galina hums in the kitchen, stirring the simmering pot on the stove. Everything was so _clean._ The oven was so modern she hadn't a clue what half of the buttons meant, but she had managed to prepare a hearty meal. She sighs contentedly and wonders how much it cost Marka to purchase all of these things - and, indeed, at what cost it must have come to Nicky.

Nicky, oblivious to Galina's concerns, channel-surfs through the seemingly endless list of shows on the TV, her nose going to the air every now and again as she catches wind of a delicious scent in the air - a smell that had been lost to her for years. Her wrist bangs mindlessly on the coffee table beside her, the dull ache taking her mind away from the prickles of sweat on the back of her neck. How could she feel so full yet so empty at the same time?

For years, this is all she had dreamed of. Galina singing a Russian tune in the kitchen, her favorite place, and Nicky knowing that she was just one step away. Co-dependency was simply the word Marka needed when she felt love and didn't want to admit it.

Yet there was a yearning just beneath her surface, like an itch she just couldn't reach. That she didn't dare reach with Galina around. She had messed her life up with drugs, she knew that...but hadn't they led her to somewhere wonderful? Hadn't they led her _here?_

"Set the table, Nicky," Red says softly from the doorway, her heartbreaking for the little girl that looked so lost in her own home. "Two places, you know how it works. Make sure to remember the spoons for dessert."

Nicky complies, mindlessly setting two places for dinner with the overly elegant place mats and extravagant silverware. Her skin felt like it was on fire - it was an unfamiliar feeling for her. Why _now?_ Everything was perfect. She comes down heavily to sit on one of the dining room chairs. Her hair stuck to her clammy forehead and she rubs her pounding forehead.

"Dinner is served," Red says brightly. her oven gloved hand clutching a dish. She sits across from Nicky and places the dish down, her eyes crinkling hopefully. "Lasagna...your favorite?"

The inflection in her voice hurts them both, but Nicky nods in confirmation. Her voice comes out as barely a whisper. "Still is." She stares at the plate in front of her as Red dishes up. The smell, once so enticing, just made her feel sick. Scrunching her eyes closed for just a moment, she skewers a forkful and presses it to her lips.

"Is it not good?" Red asks worriedly. "I haven't made it in a long time."

Nicky forces herself to smile, swallowing the mouthful of food. "Just like I remembered," she says as she pushes the food around her plate. And it _was._ The only thing that had changed was her.

Red smiles, a newfound hope twinkling in her blue eyes. "Eat up, _malyshka."_

* * *

A blanket of darkness fell over the city as Red washed the dishes, and Nicky dried them. By the time they had finished cleaning, the only source of light was the moon and the candlelight flickering on the table. Nicky watches it, the flame dancing in her brown eyes. Her mouth was dry as she gently planted a kiss on Red's cheek. "I think I'm gonna hit the hay...it's been a long day, you know?"

Red smiles and brushes Nicky's cheek with the back of her hand. "Of course. Clean sheets will do you the world of good. Go on - I'm going to stay up a little longer. Time-zones...they fuck with your head."

Nicky laughs softly, but her mind wanders. "Lucky Marka sprang for a two-bed. You want the right or the left?"

Red shrugs, already focused on some reality TV show that Nicky hadn't heard of. Little girls danced on screen, a woman yelling angrily from the sidelines. Nicky rolls her eyes. "Whatever you'd like."

"The left it is then." She gives Galina once last glance and heads for her bedroom, her head swimming. "Goodnight, Red."

* * *

Collapsing onto her bed, Nicky felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her stitches ached considerably, and her head pounded with every breath she took. Every time this had even begun to happen before, she would just get another fix and everything would be okay; she would feel good for awhile.

Gently pushing her bedroom door closed, and making sure Galina was comfortable on the couch, Nicky sat on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. The darkness helped her head, but did nothing for her state of mind. She glances at the door, and sees no movement underneath it. Closing her eyes in disappointment, she reaches for her scrapbook under her bed.

She turns to the last page, past all of the pictures of a twelve year old Nicky and a younger Red from past days. She passes all the happy memories that she stuck down on the pages, passes them to get to now. Flipping through blank pages, until the last page.

There's a single baggie filled with white powder taped down to the last page. She looks to the door and back down to the page, and biting her lip, she takes a pen from her suitcase. She scribbles the date in one corner, her age in another. And then just under the little bag of white powder, she writes:

 _Just one more last time?_

 **Hey guys! It's been such a long time I know! But I'm really hoping that I can update pretty regularly from here on and I have lots more ideas planned too. I hope you liked the chapter. Please leave a review telling me what you think/what you want to see happen. :)**


	28. Chapter 28

_You are my home, home, home_  
 _Wherever I may roam_  
 _You are the place where_  
 _I can rest my weary bones  
You are my home, home, home_

Red rubs her back, yawning and stretching as she comes to a stand. For the first time in years, she looks around her and smiles. Outside, lights twinkled and cars rushed by despite the unsocial hour. It was just what she needed. A place that stayed alive. Smiling as she switched the TV off, Red wonders why she had ever missed trashy American TV. There was nothing but cat-fights and bitchiness, and she didn't need any more drama in her life. The only shadow being from the moonlight, and not wanting to wake Nicky, Red hovers outside of Nicky's door. No light escaped from under it, and it was so late that Nicky wouldn't possibly still be awake. It was a long familiar habit, kissing her girl goodnight, one she had been forced to leave behind. But would she mind now? Was she too old to be mollycoddled? Was she too grown-up to want a mother kissing her goodnight? Was it too late for the little lost girl to change old habits? Red didn't know, but as she padded to the bedrooms, she knew this was one habit she couldn't bear to break.

Her hand just above the door handle, she also thinks about knocking. But if she knocked, and she was asleep, she'd wake her up...and if she wasn't, then she'd think she wanted something instead of just wanting to see her face, serene in sleep, and peaceful for once. As she wondered about whether Nicky would be mad or not, a small whimper that sounded a lot like her name caught her attention.

"What is it?" Red bursts through the door, her accent thick with worry and voice sounding breathless. Her eyebrows knitted together, she squints at Nicky. "Is it your stitches? Your _heart?"_ A thousand worries swirl around Red's head as she stares at Nicky, her eyes scanning over her to see if there were any visible signs of an ailment, anything that she could fix immediately. Her eyes eventually settle on Nicky's balled up fist at her chest, and she closes her own eyes.

"Nicky," her voice is even but it comes from between gritted teeth, and she doesn't want to open her eyes to see Nicky with that _shit_ in her hands. She reaches down and snatches the scrapbook from her hands. "You're doing this whilst holding your scrapbook? Are you trying to forget?" With the other hand she grabs the little baggie, and then she sits down on the bed next to Nicky. "Are you trying to _kill_ yourself?" Working herself up, she takes a hold of Nicky's shoulders and shakes them. "Don't you know how precious your life is? How precious _you_ are?" She crumbles into sobs. "This is my fault. I should have kept an eye on you. Imagine if I had woken up and found you dead?" The thought of touching her cold hand as she brought her breakfast almost made her retch, and she struggled to keep her composure. "Why did you keep it?" One last question spills from her mouth before she can stop herself.

"I don't know. Security. In case I was alone. I don't know. It's not your fault," Nicky mumbles all at once, not looking up. She shakes her head miserably, not completely understanding the gravity of the situation. "None of this is your fault."

"Whose fault is it then? Because for you, I'd find them." She shakes her head. "I just want to understand." Nicky doesn't reply and Red doesn't expect an answer. It was early days and the only thing that mattered was that she gave it up, and hadn't taken it. Instead of yelling, she curls up beside her girl and strokes her hair. "Fall asleep," she instructs sadly. "The morning will be better."

After a few moments, clearly exhausted, Nicky's breathing began to slow. Her eyes had fluttered closed and she had curled up. For once she looked peaceful and it was the only thing Red had ever wanted to see. Sitting up, Red squints in the darkness at the little baggie and the scrapbook. She opens it and flicks through until the first empty page, where she sees Nicky's chicken scratched message.

Shaking her head, she crosses a line through it. Instead she scribbles two stick women, one with a bushy head of blonde curls and another with a red mane, curled up in a cosy bed. At the bottom she scrawls:

 _As many times as you need._

* * *

Leaning on the counter top, Red watches Nicky carefully as she picks at her cereal. "It's 70 degrees," Red says, an eyebrow quirked quizzically. She tugs gently at the blanket wrapped around Nicky and laughs. But as she sits down next to her, she focuses on the pattern properly, and the cogs in her mind start to whir as she remembers why it looked so familiar. "My _babushka's odeyalo,_ " she says in surprise. Her hands stroke the fabric nostalgically and a sad smile pulls her lips up. "I haven't seen this in years."

Nicky had stayed silent, enjoying the sounds of Red just talking as she woke herself up. It was comforting after almost forgetting the sounds of her voice. Now she could recall and recognize every nuance and change in tone, and the regret that saturated her voice as she rubbed circles into Nicky's back beneath the blanket made the walk as a 12-year-old, with a heavy blanket and a scrapbook worth every pitiful step. Shrugging the blanket from her shoulders, Nicky passes it to Red. "Here," she says, giving Red's hand a squeeze, "It means a lot to you. You should have it back."

Galina wraps the blanket back around Nicky's bare shoulders, shaking her head. "My babushka passed it onto my mother when she left home, and my mother passed it onto me when I married Dmitri." Her eyes smart at the memory of her husband but she smiles nonetheless, mostly for Nicky, who stared up at her. "It was always passed on to daughters when we needed it the most… and you found it when you needed it most then, and I want to give it to you now, _malyshka_."

Nicky stares up at Red, somewhat dumbfounded. She doesn't know what to say. No-one had ever wanted her to have anything, if you didn't count Marka wanting her to have straight-As. Not knowing what to say for the best, Nicky throws her arms around her. Galina just chuckles. There was still a formal awkwardness in the air around them, but a weight had been lifted with the hug and it finally felt like there was air to breath.

So much so that Galina felt okay asking a personal question. "Why did you keep it?" Red asks, her fingers trailing over Nicky's forehead. "I'm so glad you did...but I don't understand why."

Nicky shrugs her shoulders, looking away and pulling the blanket closer to her. She brushes her nose over it. "Doesn't matter...it's stupid."

Red gives a little snort. "Trust me. I'll have heard stupider. Probably from my boys!" She rolls her eyes.

"I missed you. When I went back to your apartment and you weren't there...it was empty. Nothing reminded me of you and I didn't know what happened really...or where you'd gone." Nicky shakes her head. She felt numb, like she had all those years ago. "I saw the blanket on the bed, the scrapbook...I thought you would just forget about me. I thought you didn't want me anymore. The blanket smelled like you. It was warm. Felt like you were giving me a hug...so I took it home. It was hard to carry and I guess it made it worthwhile. Like I was doing something for you. I thought...maybe it'd show you how much I loved you. Bring you back." Nicky shakes her head. "I don't know."

Red's eyes filled with tears. This time, and for once, it was her that didn't know what to say. Picturing that little girl from the scrapbook crawling into her cold bed and hugging a blanket that would be the only sense of warmth in her life for years to come made her feel sick with guilt. A warmth that would be replaced by hard drugs and a predilection to hit the self-destruct button. That made her feel worse and she hugged her arms to her chest.

"Fuck," Red whispers under her breath. She was overwhelmed with hurt and pain and regret, but tried to not let it show. "Nicky." Galina breathes, cupping her face with warm hands. "You know you don't have to worry about that now, right?" She rakes scarlet nails through Nicky's hair, and Nicky leans into her touch, not shying away anymore. She had missed her too much to let time get in the way.

Nicky nods and tries not to let the tears fall. _Happy. Let this day be happy. "_ I know," Nicky nods, still leaning on Red, and happiness, a welcome, missed feeling, flooded through them both. _  
_

* * *

"I've been thinking," Red says tentatively. Nicky looks up, gesturing for Red to continue as she halfheartedly chewed her very late breakfast of cereal. She places her spoon back in the bowl as Galina bit her lip anxiously. "Yeah?"

"It's Yuri's birthday soon. First one I've seen in awhile," she says, melancholy tainting her tone, "I'd like to organize a party." Her eyes shine as she looks up at Nicky hopefully. "I was hoping you'd like to come. He doesn't deserve it," she laughs. "The fucker treats his wife like a...well, like he's a man," she sighs. "Men. Just don't do it, Nicky. They're overrated." She sighs and then continues. "I'd really like it if you could come. The boys would love to see you again."

A mischievous smile appears on her face and she laughs. "I think so too." She stands and puts her bowl into the sink, not bothering to wash or rinse it. "And...yeah," Nicky says shyly. "Yuri deserves to get shitfaced with his mom and live it up," she grins.

Red shakes her head. "Maybe. But not _you,"_ she warns with a frown. She brushes the hair out of Nicky's face tenderly, and Nicky smiles sadly, wishing she could turn back the clock for the both of them. "I missed you so much. Everyday I wondered what you'd be doing, what would make you smile - hoping that something would. The people I stayed with knew exactly who you were...knew why I cried for you," she smiles wanly. "I know...I know the drugs were because of me. Because I couldn't... _didn't_ take care of you."

"Red, list-" Nicky starts, wincing at the memory of bad times and not wanting Red to blame herself.

"No, Nicky. You need to hear this," Red insists. "I know it was easy to block out the pain with alcohol and drugs. But that was then and this is now. And if it _fucking kills me_ you are not using again. I'm here now. You don't need to block anything out. Do you understand me? Hmm?"

Nicky nods wordlessly, a heaving sigh escaping from her lips even though she was content. "Yeah."

Red nods, pleased with her lecture. "And anyone who says otherwise?"

"Fuck them," Nicky says with a grin, repeating what Red had told her all those years ago. "Fuck them all."

 **It's been a little while! But here it is. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please tell me what you think in a review and what you'd like to see. I'm crossing my fingers that I can update again soon, I miss it!**

 **By the way, the quote at the top is from a kid's movie I saw and reminded me so much of Red and Nicky, so hopefully you think so too.**

 **:)**


	29. Chapter 29

Music blared in the vast, empty room - so loud that both women could feel the beat matching the beat of their hearts. "Nicky," Galina attempts to sound stern through her laughter as she places napkins and name places down on the tables, "I think you've tested that thing out enough now!"

Nicky throws her head back in a laugh and concedes, switching off the stereo and finally deciding to help Red with the name cards. "Is this Yuri?" Nicky asks as she holds up a picture from the middle of the table, squinting at it curiously. She gasps, a cheeky grin appearing on her features, and points at the youthful woman surrounded by little boys. "Is this _you?"_

Galina takes the photo and smiles fondly. "Yes, Nicky. I was young once, too, you know." She stares at the photo of her and three little boys with mischievous smiles. Looking back at photographs were bittersweet - on one hand, these snapshots were precious. On the other...well, there was one curly haired little girl absent. That's why she had bought a camera for this very occasion. Even if it was years too late for there to be gap-toothed grins and puffy dresses, she still wanted a picture with all of her children.

"Can I keep a copy of this?" Nicky asks suddenly. She looks up hopefully, and Red wonders why she even needs to ask. Wrapping her hand around Nicky's, Red nods agreeably.

"Of course," she says, her finger stroking the small faces in the photograph. "What do you want it for?"

Nicky shrugs. "I just like it," she says, tucking it away in her pocket. Changing the subject, she asks, "I don't know why we're doing this now when the party starts at six. It's still light outside."

"It's summer," Red says, rolling her eyes. "It's always light. And I want it to be a night to remember," she frets. She glances at Nicky furtively, wondering if she knows how desperately she wants the night to be perfect. Nicky does, but doesn't look over at Red. Instead, she fiddles with the tape and holds it up teasingly. She straightens up the table cloth and looks up to Galina.

"Okay," Nicky says lightly, throwing Red a reassuring smile. "I'll tape the banners up."

* * *

Lorna peeks her head round the door. Through the loud music and people laughing, she navigated her way towards a familiar voice that joked around with a tall dark and handsome stranger.

"Nicky," she breathes, her fingers coming to rest on Nicky's arm, gripping like she didn't want to lose her. Even in the darkness it was plain to see just how far Nicky had come. Her cheeks were pink with excitement rather than flushed with the exertion of her heart straining to pump the blood around her body. Her face was fuller; so was her figure, which fit into the blue dress she was wearing perfectly. "You look..."

"Cheap?" Nicky laughs through her shock. She doesn't know what to say but grips the soft drink in her hand much tighter than she should. She shakes her head, her wild curls shiny as they bounced in the light. "I'm not used to picking out dresses on a budget."

"Oh, you don't have to - all you have to do is send it back..." she murmurs. "But never mind," she says quickly, "I want to know about you. How are you?"

With the punch bowl topped up and the buffet food straightened, Galina spots Nicky smiling in the corner of the room. Her head held high for the first time in months, Red heads over there, thanking people and giving hugs as she passed so many familiar faces.

"Lorna," Red states, not bothering to hide her surprise. "I hope you're doing well." The way her arm wraps around Nicky shows a solidarity that Nicky had missed her whole life. Her stare plainly meant one thing: _don't you dare hurt her again._

Lorna swallows hard. "I, um..."

Nicky looks up at Red with a twinkle in her eye and then starts to laugh, a tipsy sounding giggle escaping from her lips. "Relax, Ma. I invited her." Red steadies Nicky, her hand keeping her upright.

Red's other hand lifts Nicky's drink to her nose. "Have you been drinking?"

"No!" Nicky insists, rolling her brown eyes to Lorna. Red places the drink down on the table, seemingly approving, and smiles at Nicky. _She's having a good time._ "Drunk on love...so they say." Trying to be serious requires too much self control, and Nicky bursts out in giggles. "I'm kidding. That's just fucking weird." She breathes and the stuffiness of the room is suddenly acutely apparent to her. "Listen, Red," Nicky says, rubbing the heel of her hand on her eyes. "I'm getting too hot and tired. I'm gonna get a cab back to the apartment. Tell Vasily that I said happy birthday."

Red's forehead creases in concern and her hands are suddenly on Nicky's face. "You do _feel_ a bit hot. Do you want me to come home with you? What if it's an infection? Your _heart."_ The worry is clearly building in Red'd mind and Nicky catches her hand as she brings it to her face, looking straight into her eyes.

"Hey, Red - I'm fine. I think it's just tiredness. You know how the op goes. It takes awhile to get back to normal. That's what the doc said." Nicky explains, repeating what she had been told in an attempt to calm Red's fears.

Galina nods absently. "Yes, yes...I remember." The anxiety was ebbing away and she could see clearly again, and Nicky was looking worriedly at her. It went against everything she stood for as a mother as she nods again, "I'm sure you'll be fine...go home. Look after her, Lorna," she implores. "I know you're a good girl at heart. It's nearly over anyway. I'll see you at home, malyshka."

* * *

Opening up the apartment door, Nicky didn't bother giving Lorna the grand tour but rather slouched down on the couch, breathing in steady breaths. Lorna looks on, still hovering in the doorway, one lip pulled in under her teeth in worry.

"Shit. Are you okay?" She says worriedly, sitting down next to her. She pushes her hair back and Nicky leans into her hand.

"It's okay," Nicky says, a little breathlessly, "It's just sometimes my heart...you know. It's been an exhausting day."

"I know," Lorna smiles. "But you looked like you were having a lot of fun...you deserve it." Lorna looks down a little guiltily, but still entwines her hand with Nicky's. Not everything was perfect, but it didn't stop her heart from soaring.

Nicky's heart had soared too, and she knew that it would mean nothing in the end...just like it always had meant nothing. She presses her lips together and pulls her hand away gently. "I'm tired. I think you'd better go." Lorna nods, and feeling confused about her feelings, bends to kiss Nicky's cheek and hug her goodbye. It's bittersweet for the both of them, and it breaks through Nicky's cold facade. "Text me and tell me if you get home okay."

Lorna smiles as she opens the door to leave. "Goodnight, Nicky." The door swings behind her in a slam.

Nicky closes her eyes and rests her head on the back of the couch. "Goodnight, Lorna..."

* * *

Nicky paces back and forth in front of the couch. The TV gave off ambient sound that was somewhat distracting, but the sound of the wall clock ticking ominously still stood out worryingly as it counted down every second that Red was still out there, God knows where. She looks at the clock, and worries all the more.

She hadn't said that she'd be back at any time but there was an unspoken agreement that she would be back when the party ended. Hadn't that been obvious when she'd said, _"It's nearly over anyway. I'll see you at home, malyshka."_ Nicky shook her head. It felt fuzzy. Like when they had put her on pain medication in hospital...it was a shame they hadn't let her take it home.

Standing in front of the window, Nicky groans. _Where are you, Red?_ The worst possible thoughts run through her head. _Oh God. She's been hit by a car._ Red blood mingles with hair, disguising itself in the signature look she took so much pride in. Her leg is twisted at an angle. But the worst part is her face, tortured because they had just been reunited...and now she was gone again.

Nicky swallows hard, her knuckles turning white as she presses them into the window frame. _What if it was something worse? What if she's just left because she wants to? Because she's sick of playing Mom to a stray drug addict…_

The thought makes Nicky bite down hard on her lip, the blood she finally tastes acting as a grounding technique, pulling her back down to Earth as the door clicks open. "Red?" Nicky asks, her voice filled with panic. In an instant, she is in her arms, her nose buried into Red's shoulder.

"Nicky," Red murmurs, stroking the back of her neck. "I thought you'd be in bed, silly girl." She unhooks Nicky from her neck and sits down on the couch with her, wrapping the blanket around her cold shoulders and putting her arms around her.

"I was worried," Nicky says indignantly. Her eyes were still glistening with tears. "I thought..." she shakes her head. "It doesn't matter."

Galina frowns. "It matters to me."

"I thought you'd been in an accident. Or in trouble - you know, like before...Or, or...that you just weren't coming back." The fears that had consumed Nicky all those years ago rushed to the surface and out of her mouth in a strangled sob though she tried to hold it back. "It was horrible. Why didn't you _call?_ And why are you so late back?"

Red looks down at her earnestly and feels overcome with guilt. "I was getting the boys home. They were so drunk I couldn't leave them..." she pauses. "But you're right. I should have called. I'm sorry that I didn't think."

"I just...I don't know. Twelve year old Nicky still has a lot of fears and she's still there. When you left, I got used to you being gone. It still hurt but you know, you can learn to ignore lots of stuff. I put it to the back of my mind and whenever I thought of you...whenever I _let_ myself think of you, I just felt kinda numb."

"Nicky," Red says powerfully, pulling up Nicky's chin, "I will never leave you. I will never abandon you like I did. I was younger then - I know you can't imagine that, but I was. And I believed everything my husband told me. Now I'm older and stronger and I have missed so much that whatever happened, I would never leave. I thought you'd be in danger if I stayed before. Now you can stand on your own two feet too. You are not a puppy I brought in from the street. I'm not just going to dump you when things get tough. You know that's not what happened before. And now...I'm promising. Whatever that means to you, I hope you believe it. I promise I'm yours. Your mother if you want that," she says tentatively. "You are my family. My girl. My only girl!" She laughs. "My boys don't need me so much anymore...except when they're shitfaced," she sighs. "But I know you do. And whatever happens...we'll get through it together."

 **I have to rush this authors note cause I'm supposed to be out like now but I hope you enjoy the chapter, leave me a review and thanks to my friend nofearonlylove for helping craft this chapter!**

 **Much love**

 **Star xo**


	30. Chapter 30

Nicky paces back and forth in her room, the simple action simultaneously taking her mind off of the drugs and making them the only thing on her mind. It was simply the nature of the beast called addiction - every now and again, despite being clean for days, weeks, months it would flare up like a fire within her. Raging. Demanding to be felt. Hot tears spill down her cheeks as she is flooded with emotion.

She glances at the door. The walls were thin enough that she could hear the quiet snuffling of Red's deep breathing. Dragging herself to the door, she opens it and creeps into Red's bedroom. The sleeping figure on the bed looked peaceful, and Nicky was reluctant to disturb her, but the urge for comfort was too strong to resist. Like a child again, Nicky crawls under the covers with Red. The warmth of her body was an instant comfort, but the hands that wrapped around her were a lifesaver.

" _Malyshka,"_ Red murmurs, pulling Nicky towards her and still half asleep, but now feeling alert enough to know something is troubling her girl. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I want to go _back,"_ Nicky says powerfully, a sob erupting from her. "I keep replaying it in my head. Our perfect summer. Our perfect Halloween. Our perfect Christmas morning." She starts to cry properly now, the release of emotions both cathartic and soul destroying. Red strokes her hair, pulls her closer, and wraps her arms around her. "You gave me the only love I've ever known," she says, her chest feeling like it might burst, "I just want to go back!"

Red nods almost stoically, but then she allows herself to shed a few tears too. "I want that too," she says, scared to let the words out in the open. "I wish we could go back." She shakes her head in the darkness, letting her chin rest on Nicky's head. "But we can't….as much as it hurts, wishing for it will only make it worse. You'll drive yourself crazy with the what-ifs...with the if onlys." _I know I did,_ Red adds in her head. "But you know what, Nicky? I'll never forget those perfect days and neither will you, as much as you think you want to forget. I was never sad for a moment with you. You have to remember that," she emphasises. "We just….we just have to make more perfect days. Hmm? What do you think of that?"

Nicky considers for a moment, a silence falling over them both. "Sometimes…" she starts, looking up guiltily at Red, "I feel lost without the drugs, Red." She nibbles on a fingernail anxiously. "It's easier with you...but it's still there. It's always fucking there," she says dejectedly, but like it was something she had been holding back for a long time.

Red doesn't say anything for a moment. The only movement is her hand stroking Nicky's curls, her fingers getting lost in the locks. "I think….I think you need NA." Red says gently, pulling on a stray hair lightly. "And I think you can do it. With me."

Nicky nods, tears falling down her cheeks and making her neck uncomfortably damp. Red wipes the tears away and lets Nicky lean on her, wrapping her arm around Nicky's shoulders. "Go to sleep, _malyshka."_

A few moments pass and Nicky's breathing deepens. The room is silence again but there's a heaviness. Red heaves a sigh, unhappiness crushing her. A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child, after all. "I should have taken you with me," Red whispers, her voice cracking with the tears that spilled. Her hands caress Nicky's face, and she wishes that everything she had done, she had done differently. Her voice is desperate. "Why didn't I take you with me?"

Nicky swallows hard. The words she had always wanted to hear. The words she had begged as a child. She snuggled into Red's side. She was where she had longed to be for years. So why, she thought bitterly, do the tears still manage to escape?

* * *

"It'll be fine," Red reassures Nicky as she throws on clothes in the other room. "You just have to try it, you know. If you don't like it, well..." Red hesitates. She doesn't want her to just give it up before really giving it a shot. "I'll be waiting for you outside. Just like I did when you were at school. Okay?" She calls softly, her brow creasing in concern. She could hear shuffling and movement in the room, but Nicky had been silent for a while.

Nicky smiles, and throws on a jacket over her outfit. "I know," she calls back. It was always a relief to know that it would be Red waiting outside for her when she was younger. It meant that she wasn't always so uncertain. Life had never been so consistent for her. And now...well, she felt just the same.

"I understand, you know," Nicky says, eyes firmly glued to the floor. The room was small and crowded but it felt like the right moment to say it.

"Hmm?" Red asks. Her focus is on the NA sponsor making small talk with the other addicts in the room. "You understand what?"

"Why you left me." Nicky says, clearing her throat. "I get it now. I mean...I didn't when you left. I thought you were like everyone else. Like Marka." Red winces, focusing properly now, but lets Nicky continue. "I understand, Red. You don't have to hate yourself for it." She scuffs her shoe on the floor, and gives Red a sheepish half smile. "You know...in case you ever thought about it."

Red lets a small chuckle escape. It felt nice to smile instead of cry. "Go on," she says encouragingly, a bright twinkle in her eye. "You'll be perfect!" Red gives Nicky a little push, just a tiny shove to make her start walking towards the others.

Nicky smiles back weakly at Red. She wasn't sure Red knew how these things worked, and she wasn't entirely sure herself - but she was pretty sure you couldn't be perfect at it. "Mhm." Nicky says quietly, miles away from her usual loud self. She wanders towards the group, looking back at Red for reassurance, who gives her an excited smile. "Bye, Red." Nicky whispers as she watches her exit. It's almost painful to watch. _But she's coming back._ Nicky tells herself to breathe. To relax. _She's coming back._

Red has similar thoughts as she lingers outside of the building, wanting to rush back in there and wrap her arms around Nicky. But she stopped herself. She wouldn't always be here to stop her from using. And when she _was_ gone, she didn't want Nicky joining her for a long, long time. She hesitates for a moment. She knew that she had around an hour, and as much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't stay outside for the whole time. She pats her pocket, feeling her phone, and wondering if Nicky would be okay one last time, she finally walks away.

Nicky took a deep breath and smiles at the group leader. "Nicky," she says, extending her hand out. Her natural ability to talk to people comes flooding back as she feels more at ease with the situation. After quick introductions, Nicky finds a seat near the back and settles down to listen to everyone's stories. It was almost scary, hearing stories so eerily similar to her own. But hers was unique. She would have a happy ending, she told herself, a small smile appearing on her face.

A brunette with glasses talks next. Nicky feels a flash of recognition - but that could be from anywhere. She had seen some...less than legit places on her drug fueled travels. ""I don't have a great rock-bottom story because my rock bottom is happening right now. Not that you're not all great, but I guess I just thought I'd never be here."

Nicky snorts. Who thought they would? The girl gives Nicky a smile, her glasses askew, and she finally recognizes her. Lorna's friend at school. The geeky girl with the glasses. _Alex._ When she continues, Alex stares straight at Nicky. It's clear the recognition is mutual as Alex raises an eyebrow. "Heroin was the best girlfriend that I ever had. You know, she always made me feel better, and she was always available. But even the best girls will fuck you over, you know?"

Nicky's smile fades, and she rubs her wrist. The bracelet that she wore to remind her of better times felt heavier - her Christmas present from her only friend when she was young. What was Lorna now? She shook her head; she didn't know. She didn't even know if she wanted to know what they were now. It might be too painful.

"But hey," Alex continues with a shrug. "You never know what's round the corner." Nicky smiles wanly - that, more than anything, she knew.

* * *

Red checks her watch again anxiously. She had never been an anxious person; she had simply never seen the point. But now she realized what other people went through as her heart raced and she couldn't seem to stop her brow from furrowing. It only stopped when Nicky appeared at the door, when the relief hit her like a ton of bricks. A brunette woman accompanied her, and Red smiles at them both as they make their way towards her.

"Hey, Ma." The smile on her face tells Red that it was better than she anticipated, and she feels elated to see the relief on Nicky's face. "Meet Alex. Alex, this is Galina." Nicky introduces. Red chuckles softly. That name felt so alien to her now. It wasn't her, and she wanted people to know that. Galina left her child when she needed her. Galina followed her husband's wishes no matter what. Galina wasn't someone she wanted to know, let alone be. Red came back despite the odds of being hated. Red worked to save her daughter. Red had rebuilt her life from the ruins. Most poignantly, Red was something Nicky had chosen - figuratively, and literally.

Red smiles at the new girl. "It's Red," she says, running a hand through her tresses, "Galina's like an old haunt now."

"Nice to meet you, Red," Alex says pleasantly. "Nicky must favor her father."

Red suppresses an amused chuckle, and Nicky smirks, giving Red a wink as she considers Alex's statement. "Nope," she says finally, an eyebrow cocked in amusement, "I definitely favor Red."

Red rolls her eyes and wraps a protective arm around Nicky's shoulder. "Nice to meet you, Alex. Hopefully we'll see you around again."

"For sure!" Alex says. "Good luck in staying clean," she says earnestly, her lips pressed into a line. "Gotta find a better girlfriend somewhere, right? Less expensive one, hopefully." She smiles wanly.

"What's this about girlfriends?" Red asks with a twinkle in her eye. "Whatever you do, don't find yourself a Sparkle Tits." She rolls her eyes. "What about Lorna, hmm? I thought you two had made it up."

"No," Nicky says thoughtfully. "Maybe I should give her a call."

"Maybe," Red nods. "Just take it slow, I suppose." She tucks a hair behind Nicky's ear. "Let's go Home, hmm, _solnyshko_?" In the daylight, she really did look sunny. With a sad smile, she wonders what her father would have thought of Nicky. A little granddaughter.

Nicky smiles, unaware of Red's internal monologue, her fingers entwining with Red's. "Home sounds good to me."

* * *

 ** _A/N:_**

 ** _Hey! I hope you liked the update. I know it's been too long. :) Leave me a review telling me your thoughts. I love hearing from people.  
Just a pretty please...if you write fics with spoilers from S5 can you please write that in the description/not put spoilers in the description? I haven't watched yet...but I'm too excited and have heard good things! Also thanks to nofearonlylove who was a huge part in writing this chapter...I love hearing your ideas. :)_**

 ** _\- Star xo_**


	31. Chapter 31

Nicky stood on the balcony, watching the world go past as she took another drag from her cigarette. God, she had missed smoking; the feel of it between her fingers, the smoke billowing from her mouth. Now, she found, it didn't quite have the same effect as it once did. Her lungs felt less resilient between each drag and her chest heaved. Having to keep one eye on the door was also somewhat of a buzzkill, though she didn't want to face that Russian wrath waiting for her in the kitchen. Interrupting the peace, her phone rang out, signalling a message. A sigh escaped from Nicky's lips as she held her cigarette in one hand and phone in the other. Lorna's name flashed on the screen; a surprised look colored Nicky's features.

 _Hey Nichols...you at home?_

Nicky barely had any time to consider the message before Red's voice broke through her concentration. "Do you want pancakes or waffles for breakfast?" Red calls. Nicky looks to the door and quickly stubs out the cigarette, shoving her phone into her back pocket.

"Shit," she mutters, waving her hand in the air in a futile attempt to get rid of the smoky scent that clung to her. "Uh, whatever's easier, I don't mind!" Nicky calls back, running her fingers through her hair and letting the light morning breeze freshen it. Despite her response, Red opens the door in order to appreciate the morning air with her girl. Nicky groans when Red wrinkles her nose and inhales a handful of her hair.

She rolls her eyes and isn't particularly angry, but says it anyway. "Your guilty face was a giveaway."

Nicky scoffs. "I don't have a guilty face." She grins like a child and throws her head back in a laugh, relaxing into Red's grip on her hand. It was strange how it had all rushed back to her so quickly. The affection. The kisses on cheeks. Smiles like she'd never felt pain. Like she'd never felt abandoned. Red was her shelter, her _home._ Nothing would ever change that; not distance, not time, and certainly not due to anyone else's doing. Home wasn't a place. It wasn't bricks and mortar and although Red had confided in her about missing the place where her boys' heights were marked on the wall, Nicky knew she felt the same way.

"The rest?" Red requests, pulling Nicky inside for breakfast. As vices went, she knew that cigarettes weren't something to worry about normally. But she was worried, and she definitely wasn't against confiscation as a way of making sure Nicky's lungs and heart weren't being suffocated. "What if you meet someone, huh?" Red says, framing it like Nicky would recklessly see it. "And they didn't like the smoke?"

Nicky smirks. "I haven't had any complaints yet." Nicky's eyes flit to her phone and the smile fades. _Not from Lorna, anyways._ But she shakes her head and hands over the packet, staring longingly at it.

"Come inside, _malyshka,"_ Red says, forgetting about the cigarettes almost instantly. That's one of the best things about Red, Nicky thinks as she wraps her arms around her; she never holds onto a grudge. Never brings it up in a fight. "Let's eat."

The smell of breakfast was something Nicky never tired of. It was Red. Just like the scarlet lipstick and nails, just like the crimson hair. Like storybooks at night. They all came and went with Red for Nicky. And she prayed that they would never go again.

Nicky hops onto one of the breakfast bar stools, immediately picking up a waffle and chowing down. She gives Red a grin that reminds her why it is that she does everything she does. "Beautiful morning." Red comments, her hands wrapped around her coffee mug. She wonders what today would bring. It was a much more relaxed lifestyle than she had ever been used to, and having the chance to sit back and do whatever she wanted had some drawbacks - she often didn't _know_ what she wanted to do. There was no NA meeting, no rush for them to get to a hospital appointment. She had no bakery to make the ache in her back worth it. It was a bittersweet thought.

Nicky scoffs at the words "beautiful" and "morning" being in the same sentence, but smiles anyway. She swallows the last of the waffle and shakes her head. "We need to find something to do. I can tell you how many floorboards we have."

"Oh yeah?" Red raises her eyebrows, remaining unimpressed. "You know what I can count? The amount of gray hairs on my head you've given me!"

Nicky rolls her eyes and giggles. Clearly, this wasn't going to work with Red. She'd have to find her own fun. Just as she was about to suggest something, the doorbell interrupted her train of thought. She huffs in annoyance, and throws a hard glance to Red. "Ugh, if this is Marka," Nicky mutters darkly. "I'll get rid of whoever it is." Red smiles. It was nice to know that someone valued her company over others, even if Nicky was just being anti-social.

Nicky yanks the door open with another heavy exhale, ready to tell whoever it was to, politely, get the hell out of here. She wasn't expecting for the person behind the door to fall into her arms in hysterics.

Nicky doesn't quite know what's happened as she shuts the door behind Lorna, pulling her into the kitchen where Red hovers, unsure of what to do. Nicky shrugs over Lorna, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Lorna simply heaves another sob, ugly cries ruining the once light atmosphere of the room.

"Come on, kid," Nicky says uncertainly, mopping at Lorna's face with her free hand. "What happened?"

Red stares silently. She never hesitated in offering her opinion, especially not with Nicky, but this time she bit her tongue. Perhaps it would help heal Nicky if she felt powerless to do anything to stop the pain; if she tried mopping up tears that seemed endless. To not have the power for once. She knew what it was like to lose control, but, Red thought, she didn't know what it was like to have the control taken from you. Perhaps it would shake her into caring about herself. Not that Nicky wasn't a sympathetic person - she was, very much so - but this would be an opportunity to have closure. To close the book to that chapter of her life.

And then Lorna opened her mouth. Lorna, through the quick breaths, pants out an answer that tells Nicky all she needs to know. "I loved him. More than anything! And he left me. Do you have any idea what that's like?" Lorna screams hysterically, her face turning pink with effort. Red found biting her tongue increasingly difficult to do, and her jaw worked furiously.

Nicky hadn't moved. She stares ahead, a cloudy look in her eyes. She nods thoughtfully, almost absently, as her fingers rake up and down Lorna's back in an attempt at comfort. "I think..." Nicky starts, pausing as she licks her lip in contemplation. "I think I do."

She remembered back to when she was a child. When Marka had screamed those exact words to her. When Nicky didn't care, because she knew Galina would be there to tuck her in at night and take her to school in the morning. When she knew that none of it mattered because she was Red's best girl. Red's only girl, and that she was special - not for anything but just for being Nicky. Because "just Nicky" was always good enough for Galina. Why wasn't it ever good enough for Lorna?

Nicky pauses. She didn't want someone to fuck; she didn't want to be someone's second choice. She had grown tired of that shit long ago. But she hadn't grown calloused like Marka. She hadn't let the storms that she'd weathered harden her. As she held the sobbing girl in her arms, a line from a children's book from long ago, read in a heavy Russian accent, sprang to mind.

 _Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not._

"Come on." Nicky says softly, a sigh escaping from her lips. "No-one's gonna wanna be your rebound if you have mascara tears and lipstick on your teeth."

Lorna manages to snort a laugh, and leans into Nicky. "Why would they want to anyway?" She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. "I'm the problem. I was always the problem." She lowers her voice like it's a secret and cries even harder. "They call me _crazy._ They all do!" Lorna insists.

Nicky winces. She can believe it - she had seen some of the crazy shit Lorna had gotten herself into whilst trying to keep boyfriends. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Nicky asks awkwardly.

"He chose her over me!" Lorna spits. "Vinnie. He cheated on me with my own _sister!"_ She howls into her sleeve and leans on Nicky's shoulder for reassurance.

Nicky nods. "Here," she says, passing her a tissue. "You've always been..." Nicky hesitates. _A crazy bitch._ _No, Nicky,_ she scolds herself. "Eh...eccentric."

"You think so?" Lorna asks hopefully, looking up with teary doe eyes.

"Sure," Nicky says easily, dabbing at Lorna's face with a tissue. "Don't let him take everything about you with him. You're smart, and kind. You're funny, at least funny looking," she jokes. "You're beautiful. He's an idiot to let you go."

"He is, isn't he?" Lorna says more forcefully this time. She stands up straighter. "Do you think I should fight for him?" She pushes up her bra and glances at herself in the mirror. "I can fix my make-up in the car. I can win over Franny, right? She's never been the same since the baby..."

Nicky knows she's not really listening anymore. A lecture wasn't going to solve anything and Nicky was too tired to give one anyway. Conversations like this were draining in a way that they hadn't ever been before. It wasn't back and forth bantering, it was just plain annoying. She shook her head minutely, but gave Lorna a smile. "Do whatever you think is right."

"I think I'd better fight for my man." She smiles at Nicky so brightly that she thinks she might be blinded. And then she's reminded of where she's going - back to that black hole of love and affection and fighting and tears...Nicky didn't want that. She didn't want to be a part of it. And though Lorna kisses her cheek, she doesn't feel much apart from pity.

Nicky closes the door behind her with a gentle click. She closes her eyes and lets Red pull her close, leading her to the couch. She was a little girl again, tucked up under Red's arm as she rocked and hummed Nicky out of her misery. Red brushes the hair from Nicky's eyes. A sea of blue concern looks down at Nicky, imploring her to tell her everything. Nicky didn't know everything. So Red asks her the one thing she thought she might. "Do you love her?"

Nicky doesn't answer for a moment. Red isn't sure if she's ignoring her. If she's fallen asleep though it was only afternoon. Or if she's just considering her answer. Finally, Nicky takes a deep breath. "I don't know." Nicky answers truthfully. "Maybe...I think once, I did."

"And now?" Red asks gently, still facing the TV that flickers some light into the otherwise dim room. "Do you think you love her now?" Though the question seemed cruel, Red couldn't help herself. She needed to know, like someone needs to scratch an itch.

Nicky stares ahead at the TV. She felt so tired. "I don't think so," Nicky replies hoarsely. "Not now that you're here...not now that I know relationships shouldn't be built on mind games and scams." Nicky wipes the tears that pool in her eyes away furiously. "Not now that I don't need her instead of my next fix." Nicky nods slowly. "Not now," she repeats resolutely. "But..." she says hesitantly, wrapping her arm around Red, "I do love you." It was a release to say, and she instantly feels better for it. She just hopes that it's repeated back to her and not thrown back in her face. Not that Red would do that. Nicky looks up at Red anxiously. _Not that she would do that...?_

Red smiles into the darkness. Her hand squeezes Nicky's fingers and she can imagine the little smile on her face as she snuggled up in her lap like her boys used to. It was so nice, and Nicky was instantly reassured by the action. Red leans over and kisses the top of Nicky's head. "I love you too, Nicky."

 **I hope you enjoyed.** **Stay safe, lovelies.**

 **\- Star xo**


	32. Chapter 32

Red sighs as she circles another job in the paper. Red rings cover black and white. None of the jobs looked appealing in the slightest and she longed for her bakery. Sometimes she could swear she could smell the aroma of sweet treats being baked, of savory snacks being passed to customers to try. She stares at the paper wistfully. "Nothing is right," she says in annoyance, slamming the Sharpie down.

"Relax, Ma," Nicky says, her mouth full as she crams another Pop Tart in the toaster. "Life's for living."

Red raises an eyebrow. "Well, that may be, _malyshka,_ but I've worked my whole life. I could run a bakery in my sleep. You..." she pauses to let Nicky swallow the mouthful of "food" as she called those artificial treats. Nicky called them delicious. Red called them shit. "You're used to a different life," she settles on a choice of words that are diplomatic. "I need to work, Nicky. I'm going to go out of my fucking mind." Nicky rolls her eyes, licking the icing from her finger, but concedes.

"There's a new bakery opening down the street. I think Marka knows the owners." Nicky offers, not put off of her Pop Tart by Red's look of disgust. "I think I have her number somewhere around here."

"Why is it not in your phone?" Red asks, completely missing the point. Nicky frowns and shrugs her shoulders. "You have mine in there, right?" Red asks worriedly. "What would happen if you had an accident?" She shakes her head like she's trying to get the image of Nicky having an accident out of her head. "Anyway, I don't think so. That place is full of yuppie bullshitters and hipsters."

Nicky sighs. " _Ma."_ She says forcefully. "Does that really matter?" She quickly changes the subject. "I'll give Marka a call for you, okay?" Nicky says finally. "Or write to her. She's always too busy to talk on the phone." Nicky says bitterly, though she says nothing to insult her.

Red offers Nicky a sad smile. Does Marka not know how lucky she is? "Thank you, sweetheart, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

"No," Nicky says after a moment. "I think it'll be good for me." Nicky considers for a moment. "I think I have some things to tell her myself, too."

"Okay." Red says, relenting at long last. "Tell you what. I'm going to go run some errands. Collect some things. You write your letter in private. Okay?"

Nicky nods. As Red leaves, Nicky grabs a pen and paper from the drawer in the kitchen. It was a strange feeling, writing to the woman who considered herself a mother yet had done nothing to prove it. For a long time, Nicky just stares at the paper. Then, finally, she starts to write.

 _Marka,_

 _I know it's been a while. For both of us, though. Not just me. I feel like I need to write this to you, just to move on with life. I know it might not be what you want to hear, but I really need to say it._

 _You shouldn't have been a mother. You shouldn't have decided to have a child, and then abandon her at every opportunity. I know Paolo has a problem with germs or something, but you chose him over me every time. And I should be saying fuck you. But I don't want to, because I don't need to anymore. I'm not a kid anymore._

 _I have Red. And she's my mother, the mother I never had before. I know you offered her money to stay with me. I guess I should be angry about that, but I don't have the spare energy to spend hating you when life is good now. I don't have any regrets. I don't know if you do, but it would be nice if you did. Nice that you regretted the fact that your actions, at least partly, led to my heart stopping._

 _But like I said. I don't have any regrets, not even that. You pay my rent, so I suppose in some twisted way, in your own, strange way, you want me to be happy. So I have one last favor to ask you. Red - she needs a job. She misses her bakery. I know you know those yuppies working down the street from us. Can you do me a solid and put in a good word? It would mean a lot to me._

Nicky hesitates as she goes to sign her name. Does she put love from? Regards? She didn't know. After a couple of moments deliberation, she decides on simply _\- Nicky._

After glancing at the clock, she realizes that Red would probably be home soon. But she couldn't delay sending her letter. She shrugs a jacket over her shoulders, grabs her keys, and heads for Marka's home.

Recognized by the doorman, Nicky is let through with a smile. She stops, and turns toward him. "Hey, man. Can you give this to Marka? Don't put it in her box, but give it to her?" He nods amicably, and takes the letter. Nicky grins as she heads for the door. "Thanks!"

It wasn't the same as giving Marka the letter herself, but she wasn't sure she wanted to do that. It wasn't something she gained pleasure from, upsetting Marka, but it had to be done. She takes a deep breath as she leaves the building again. It felt like she was finally breathing fresh air.

* * *

Nicky looks up from the couch, finally switching the TV off as Red comes through the front door. Her eyes shine brightly. Nicky sits up, her interest piqued. When leaving, Red had simply said that she was just going to collect something, and she had been gone for far too long for Nicky's liking. In her hands, she clutches a little envelope.

"What did you get?" Nicky asks curiously. Hands try to reach for the envelope and Red smiles fondly, remembering three little boys who would always do just the same. Still, she slaps Nicky's hand away and pulls her over to the couch.

"Come sit and I'll show you." Red laughs easily. She pulls Nicky close to her and smiles. She had missed being able to do this, and being able to do it so freely now was still a novelty. She wasn't sure if it would ever wear off. Red reveals a stack of photographs. Nicky chuckles as she sees a photo of herself pulling a face.

"Oh god, Ma - why'd you take that one?" Nicky holds it up to inspect it and rolls her eyes. She looked goofy. Her hair was wild and she was scrunching up her nose. "You should throw that one in the trash."

"No fucking way!" Red says seriously, slapping Nicky's hand away again. "You pulled that face all the time when you were younger," she smiles, her finger stroking along the photograph. "I always imagined what you'd look like now. If you still had your curls. If you still scrunched up your nose. If...if. So many questions. I had to imagine you as twelve years old though I counted down the days for every birthday you had when I wasn't here. Thirteen - a teenager! Fourteen...I wonder if she's doing well in school. Fifteen. Is she in love?" Red sighs. "It becomes fuzzy in your head. All of those things you remember so clearly, you wonder if you imagined it. If you imagined the whole thing! You weren't replying to my letters. Of course I know why now, but then...I thought you were angry. I understood. But the years passed and I wondered if you really hated me. Which I also would have understood, but it broke me, too. I wondered if you were okay. What you looked like. I didn't even have a photograph, Nicky." Red closes her eyes, and cups Nicky's face in her hands. "I could only imagine."

Nicky nods thoughtfully as Red reopens her eyes. "I never thought of it that way." Nicky says quietly. She had the scrapbook. The memories of Red, knowing she probably wouldn't change much. But Red...she was a teenager when she left. And they change so quickly. Without even a photo to remember her by, it amazes Nicky even further that she came back. That she risked her marriage just to come back and find a troubled young adult that might hate her.

"How could you?" Red says simply. "You aren't a mother, malyshka." Red brushes stray hairs from Nicky's eyes. "I had to fight my mind every day. You were still there, even if you were a little faded around the edges."

* * *

Nicky plants a kiss on Red's face as she heads to her bedroom for the night. "Goodnight, Red," she calls softly.

"Goodnight, honey." Red replies, relaxing on the sofa. The nights had always been her friend when she had been forced to leave, when she could sit back and recall memories, the tears sliding down her face and dripping down to her mouth which still quirked into a smile despite everything.

Nicky sits cross legged on her bed, and pulls out her scrapbook. At the back of the book, Red's letters lay, all ripped open now, but still safely tucked in their different colored envelopes. She opens the one that she knows to be the first. Her eyes scan the page as she tries to see if she can read the desperation in the letters. See if Red really thought she hated her. It was a twisted activity, but she had to do it.

The first time she had read them, her mind was so foggy with the drugs, the shock of Red coming back, and the anger at not getting them the first time round that she hadn't been able to appreciate the words. But this time she'd take her time. Phrases jumped out at her as she reads each and every one of them.

Malyshka.

Things have gone horribly wrong.

Sweetheart, please don't hate me. I think of you every day, I still do. If you hated me, I don't think I could go on.

Nicky. You're 15 this month. Are you studying hard? Have you fallen in love? Do you still think of me? I still think of you. I think I always will. Happy birthday, milaya.

The ink was smudged every so often, tears splattering across the page. It broke Nicky to imagine Red writing each one, sobs wracking her body, but fingers still gripping the pen.

I'm sorry for the smudged ink. I'm sorry for everything. But not sorry to have met you, my best girl.

After coming to the end of the last letter, which sounded more hopeful than many of the others, with Red promising a way to make this whole thing work, Nicky closes the book. She wipes the tears from her eyes as she hears Red finally padding into her bedroom. After spending so many years in a state of heartbreak, Nicky wanted to do something to make Red smile. To make her realize her worth.

After a think, Nicky finally settled on making Red breakfast in the morning. But, she thought, her brow furrowing, she would never wake up before Red. So, slipping out of bed and hopping on the cold floor, Nicky made her way to the kitchen. She had no idea what to make; indeed, she didn't even know how to make a pancake. So she tapped a question into Google: overnight breakfast ideas. Within minutes she had the recipe for a Spanish breakfast casserole. It sounded good to her.

Within a half hour, the kitchen was full of mess with every counter top covered in dirty dishes. She wrinkles her nose as she washes the dishes and waits for the casserole to cook, her eyes growing heavy with sleep.

Whilst her daughter cooked and cleaned to do anything in order to make Red happy, Marka sat at her kitchen table and read the letter that Nicky had sent her. The dark of the night reminds her of her loneliness whilst Paolo was out of town. Her finger follows the lines of the letter, and she covers her mouth with her hand to stifle the tears.

She had never set out to be a bad mother, never intended to be neglectful. But she had been. She was never meant to be a mother. She wiped her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup, and folded the letter up. Then she reaches for a piece of her own paper, and unscrews the lid from a pen.

 _I hope you are well. We haven't spoken in some time and we will have to catch up soon! I have a business proposition for you. My daughter, Nicole, has someone who she thinks will be perfect as a baker for your new business. I've enclosed her details. Please give her a chance, and let me know when the opening is. I would love to attend._

 _Regards,_

 _Marka Nichols_

Marka puts her pen down. Files the letter from Nicky away somewhere, and then goes to bed. There was no use in trying to reconcile now. It would always be too little, too late.

* * *

Morning rose in the sky and Red was up before the sun, ready to face the day once again. After a little while of watching early morning television, she steps into the kitchen and frowns. The counters were sticky although she cleaned them yesterday, and there was a smell of cooking in the air despite not having baked anything. "Nicky," she calls, a cheeky smile on her face. "Did you have a midnight snack or something?"

"No!" Nicky calls back with a grin, running into the kitchen still wearing her pajamas. "I made breakfast!" She goes to the refrigerator and pulls out the casserole dish. "I just have to heat it up."

Red smiles, a genuine sense of surprise in her chest. She felt loved, properly loved, for the first time in a while. "Thank you, Nicky," she says, kissing the side of her face. "It looks delicious."

"Hold off on the compliments until you taste it." Nicky laughs.

"Nicky," Red says, setting the table, "I'd think cereal was made by Ina Garten if you made it for me," she says earnestly.

"Good," Nicky laughs, peering into the oven at the dish bubbling away suspiciously. "Because that's what we might end up having!"

 **Heyy guys. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter. Please tell me what you think in a review. I hope everyone is safe and well, especially with current events.**

 **\- Star xo**


	33. Chapter 33

_Six months later - December 25th_

Nicky's eyes flutter open to the sounds of Christmas music floating from the kitchen. A grin appears on her face as she listens to Red humming away in the kitchen, knowing that she's cooking breakfast. Just like that oh so close to perfect Christmas they'd had all those years ago. She jumps out of bed, despite the cold floor, and pads over to the door. The music was clearer and Red's humming had turned to mumbling the lyrics. As she looks out at Red, she notices once again, her own name on a stocking, despite her age. It was touching. If it wasn't the same stocking as all of those years ago, then Red had done an amazing job of making it look identical. Nicky smiles and joins Red in the kitchen, breathing in the delicious scent of syrniki.

Red, at first, had been reluctant to serve her traditional breakfast of pancakes for Christmas breakfast. She had abandoned the tradition when she'd had to abandon Nicky, and she had to admit, despite the persuasion it had taken her to pick it back up again, it felt so natural as she whipped the ingredients together.

"Mm," Nicky says with a grin, her excitement bubbling. She rests her chin on Red's shoulder. "Smells great, Red."

"It should," Red laughs. "This is years of pent up regret of not being able to make them. Of wondering. And now I don't have to wonder. I have my boys and my girl right where I need them." She reaches up for the powdered sugar and her hands brush the NA key tags hanging from the cupboard. Her eye catches Nicky's and she smiles. "All safe and sound. Safe and _clean."_ She adds for good measure.

Nicky beams, reaching up to brush her fingers along the key tags herself. She remembers the first one she brought home, a white tag, and wondering where to put it. Red had soon put an end to that line of thought.

 _"It'll go in the kitchen." Red had said firmly. "It's not going to be hidden away. I'm so proud of you. I want us to be able to see it. A reminder of what you've accomplished."_

 _"But what about when people come round?" Nicky asked anxiously, playing with the key tag. "Your boss from the bakery."_

 _"What about them? I want to tell them as well. Nicky," she said, cupping her face with her hands, "I want to scream it from the fucking rooftops." She kissed her temple, resting their foreheads together. "I am so proud of you."_

Now there were several key tags hanging from the cupboard. White, orange, green, red and blue. Six months sober felt so much more gratifying than getting her next fix. It was a welcome change, and she finally had something of her own to be proud of. Something to work at. And she could, she felt, with Red at her side.

"You don't mind cooking today?" Nicky asks. "Are you not sick of it? Everyday must be like cooking for Christmas at the bakery now." Since taking Red on, the bakery had allowed her to add to the menu, and slowly Russian treats were what every customer wanted when they walked in the door. It was rewarding but hard work, and Red often complained about her back.

Red hands Nicky a plate and squeezes her hand, grateful for the concern. "Don't worry. Of course I don't. It's always been my passion." Red says. Nicky isn't sure if she means taking care of people, or baking, but either way, the thought made her smile. "Merry Christmas, Nicky."

Nicky takes the plate gratefully and plants a kiss on Red's cheek. "Merry Christmas, Ma."

* * *

"It looks perfect." Nicky says as she switches on the Christmas tree lights. She stands back and admires the simplistic beauty. "I haven't seen a Christmas tree at home in years," she admits. "I wonder what the baby will think."

Red laughs. "Babies are fickle. He'll either love it and try to pull it down or scream the place down because he's afraid. Maybe both! But it'll be perfect either way, Nicky. Nothing could ruin today. Not again. I would never let that happen."

"I know," Nicky says, quietly but confidently. "And Red?"

"Yes?" Red says uncharacteristically softly.

"You didn't let it happen when I was twelve. I know it hurt you just as much. Maybe..." Nicky proffers. "Maybe even more."

Red smiles. She reaches a hand out for Nicky. Neither of them had the monopoly on pain. Everyone had pain in their lives; you just have to get on with your life, praying to a non-existent god that the dust will one day settle and that the playing field will be leveled. Red had done just that, and waited every single day for a chance to be better again, hearing her own mama's words echoing inside of her head - _Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet._ Life had poured misery down onto her, and yet things were looking up. Despite the wait, despite the years of hardship and anguish...things were looking up, and she was staring at the proof of that in the face. Her beautiful, grinning face. "I love you, _malyshka."_

Nicky smirks, her competitiveness bubbling to the surface. "I love you more."

* * *

The living room was full and bursting with life. Red's sons and their girlfriends made themselves at home in the smallish apartment and Nicky didn't object at all. It was so different having a room filled with family. Filled with noise. Filled with the sounds of a baby babbling as he looks up at Nicky with puppy dog eyes and a pout. Nicky slides off of the couch and sits on the rug with the baby.

Nicky stares at him, his little starfish hands grabbing for Nicky's hair. She smiles and tickles his neck, causing him to shriek with delight. "Say hi to Auntie Nicky, Ivan," Vasily encourages the little boy. "Say hi!"

Nicky lets him hold one of her fingers in his fist. With her other hand, she waves. "Can you say hi?" When the baby just waves back, dissolving into giggles, Nicky breaks too, and laughs easily. She pulls the baby close to her and gives him a kiss, surprised at how natural the affection feels. Was it different somehow, for Marka? Did something not just click as she held her baby close? Nicky didn't know, but right now, it didn't matter. As she rests her chin on the top of Ivan's head, a camera flashes in her peripheral vision as Red starts to disappear into the kitchen. Nicky had grown used to her incessant photographing, and though she didn't like to admit it, liked having the chance to look back on an event after it was finished.

Nicky rolls her eyes but, passing the baby back to Vasily, follows Red to the kitchen. Red largely ignores Nicky's presence as she stirs pots and sprinkles various spices into others, but she knew she was there. Whether she was overwhelmed with the company, or just craving some alone time with her, Red understood. But when Nicky started playing with a ladle, Red spins around. "Nicky, what are you doing in here?"

"Hmm?" Nicky asks. "I don't know. Do you want any help?"

Red wipes her hands on her apron and sets the spoon she was holding down on the counter top. "Okay," she says, pulling a chair up for herself. "Cut the bullshit. You hate helping me in the kitchen. What's up?"

Nicky grinds her shoe into the floor, her eyes trained on the tiles. Her hands reach up behind her neck and for a moment, Red wonders what she's doing. And then she holds her hand in front of her, and offers Red her precious necklace. Her necklace that had been there for her longer than anyone else. The necklace that symbolized hope in a hopeless period in her life. The hand that holds it is shaking and Nicky blinks hard a couple of times. Red's brow furrows and she doesn't make a move. She doesn't know what game Nicky is playing, or indeed if this was much more than a game, and so there was no way she was going to say something blindly. "I think you should have this back." Nicky says, brown eyes shining.

Red is glad she's sitting. Again, she didn't take the necklace, but left Nicky's hand in the air. _What is she saying?_ Nicky holds it out insistently. "You might have a granddaughter one day." Nicky takes a deep breath and resists the urge to snatch her hand back and hold her beloved necklace close to her, like it always had been. Through everything. "You..." Nicky shrugs as if she hadn't spent a long time thinking about what she would say in this exact moment. "You might want to give it to her."

"Maybe," Red nods thoughtfully and comes to a stand. She wraps her own hand around Nicky's and closes her fist. Concerned blue eyes meet scared doe eyes and Red tucks a strand of Nicky's hair behind her ear. She fishes the necklace from Nicky's palm and clips the necklace back around Nicky's neck. Where it belonged. Where it would always belong until _Nicky_ wanted to give it away. "And if that happens one day, and if she wants to, then her mother can give it to her herself." Nicky blinks back tears that threatened to spill over. She buries her head into Red's neck and Red holds her tightly. "You're mine, Nicky."

Nicky nods as she steals a little piece of turkey from the counter. "I know," she says, her mouth full over Red's shoulder. Hearing the change in her voice, Red turns her so that they're facing. "You little thief. Get out of here!" Red laughs, swatting at Nicky with an oven glove. "I think Ivan's missing his Auntie." Red smiles. "Tell the boys that dinner is in fifteen."

* * *

"This looks great, Mama!" Yuri says enthusiastically. Red smiles at her son and sits down at the table.

"Thank you, honey." Red says. "Merry Christmas, everyone. This year hasn't been easy but it's been...rewarding." She squeezes Nicky's hand and smooths back Ivan's hair. She raises her glass. "Here's to many more!"

Nicky holds out her glass to clink with Maxsim's as the doorbell rings. Red's eyes immediately flicker to the door, and then back to Nicky, whose fingers wrap tightly around her glass, knuckles turning white. Her gaze is cast to the floor. Red takes a moment to gather her bearings and then clears her throat. "Why...why don't the boys continue with dinner and we'll go and see who's at the door, Nicky?"

Red pulls Nicky up from her chair. "Red?" Nicky whispers, her fingers scrabbling for Red's. "They're dead, aren't they? They can't...they can't take you again?"

"It'll be nothing." Red says quickly, in an attempt to dispel her fears. Red's own fears were spilling over, but she pushes them down, and flings the door open self assuredly. "See." Red says triumphantly. No-one stands at the door, and they both stand there, puzzled, for a moment. And then Nicky bends, picking up a large envelope on the floor. She reads the sticker on the front and hands it to Red.

"Galina Reznikov." Nicky says, shrugging. She closes the door, a wave of relief washing over her. Everyone was still here. Everyone was okay. They walk to the table, together again, and Nicky absently plays with the baby's hands as they sit down again, everyone waiting with bated breath to see what it was.

Red sits down at the table again, composed and smiling. "It's okay," she reassures her family, opening up the envelope. "It's divorce papers."

"Oh, Red," Nicky says softly, entwining her fingers with Red's. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Red says simply, grabbing a pen and signing them. "I don't need to be married. I don't want to be, not anymore." She caresses the papers, and knew that it was the right thing to do. "It's a new start and I don't plan on leaving ever again."

"And I'm glad," Yuri booms a laugh. "Christmas just hasn't been the same without you."

Nicky nods in agreement, a sad smile crossing her lips as she watches Red put the papers into a drawer. "Agreed."

"Well," Red says, hiding her smile by dabbing her lips with a napkin. "You're stuck with me now - forever. Can't divorce your kids. Remember that." Red laughs.

* * *

"Come on, everyone," Red ushers the family from the table, everyone feeling uncomfortably full. "Let's do gifts now." Her eyes shine excitedly and she pats Nicky's back gently. She had years to make up, and she had put so much thought into Nicky's present. Of course she had put thought into everyone's, but none of them grew as excited for Christmas as Nicky had done - presumably, because they knew it would be a special event every year, whereas Nicky's had been hit and miss at best.

Sitting around the tree, everyone takes it in turns to exchange gifts. Laughs and hugs were exchanged and Nicky basked in the moment. The peace and contentment. It was strange; a yearning that she'd had ever since childhood. Now, the reality felt even better than what she had imagined.

"To Nicky, from Mama." Vasily reads out, passing the present to Nicky. He shakes the box gently. "Hmm...feels light. Did you cheap out, Ma?"

Red laughs and clips him round the back of the head and Nicky shakes her head, deftly taking the present from his hands. She unwraps the paper carefully and studies the present in her lap, watching as it blurs at the edges as tears form in her eyes.

"Hey, no crying!" Maxsim cries. "That's the rule for Ivan, anyway." The baby, as if on cue, starts to grizzle and Nicky passes him the wrapping paper to keep him amused.

"Sorry." Nicky says. The present - a little wooden box personalized with pictures of Nicky and Red, many of which Nicky had objected to being taken, with the quote _if you lived here, you'd be home now_ carved into it - was beautiful, and Nicky held it close to her. "I love it, Red."

Red bends down to give Nicky a hug, ignoring twinges in her back. "It's a box so you can fill it. Your scrapbook was getting a bit full, hmm? And trust me - there will be years of memories to put in there. I promise you, _malyshka."_

"I know," Nicky says. She passes Red the gift she got her, and smiles brilliantly. "I hope you like it."

Red rips into the paper eagerly. "I know I will." Red says diplomatically, eyeing Vasily's gift of toiletries in the corner. Inside the box, a necklace lay. "What is it?" Red asks curiously as she holds it up. It just looked like a squiggle to her.

"It's a sound wave." Nicky says proudly.

"Oh?" Red says, clipping the necklace on and admiring it again. "What of?"

"Of me!" Nicky laughs. "Saying 'you are my home'. Just so you always have it close to your heart."

"Oh, Nicky," Red says, pulling her daughter in closely for another hug. "I don't think that would ever be a problem, even without the necklace. But thank you. It's beautiful, and I love it." Her free hand touches the necklace gently.

"Almost as much as she loves your gift of bubble bath, Vasily," Yuri snickers. "I think Nicky won this year's best present for Mom," he says, no trace of resentment in his voice.

"Why am I not surprised?" Red asks, squeezing her son's hand fondly. "I love you all very much. Merry Christmas, everyone."

* * *

Nicky curls up on Red's bed as they stare at the TV screen together, watching a late night Christmas movie. Everyone had left, and whilst the noise and busyness of Christmas had been lovely in the daytime, Nicky most enjoyed the time they spent together alone.

"Are you getting tired?" Red asks as she plays with Nicky's hair. Nicky shakes her head minutely. She would never tire of this. Red chuckles softly. "I think you're lying."

"Am not," Nicky murmurs, her eyes growing heavy. "I don't want this day to end," she admits sleepily.

"No?" Red laughs. "Me either. It's been a perfect day. But you know what, _malyshka_?"

"What?" Nicky asks, her head buried in her knitted blanket like a warm cocoon. She felt so safe. She always did with Red.

"It'll be a perfect day tomorrow. And the next day...and the next." Red's fingers raked through Nicky's hair. "Because in the morning when you wake up, I'll be here. And you'll be there when I go to sleep, telling me all your funny little secrets and stories from the day. And even when it gets tough, it'll be perfect despite the imperfections. Because we have each other, malyshka. And I think we've proved that we're all we need, hmm? That we'll always find our way back home, no matter what."

"You promise?" Nicky asks tiredly, eyes flickering up to meet Red's.

"What?" Red asks.

"That we'll keep having perfect days. You know, forever. Like the books. Maybe not _'happily ever after…'_ that's not realistic...but these days. Do you promise?"

"Forever, _malyshka_." Red says, looking out of the window into the bright, big world. She didn't need any of that; she had everything she needed right here, right now. There was no hesitation or resistance in her voice, only a peaceful murmur of reassurance. "I promise that."

 **The end!  
I hope you have enjoyed this story in its entirety. Thanks to everyone who gave encouraging words and told me that they liked the story. It was beautiful to write and to be a part of this fandom. But Red and Nicky definitely got their fairy tale ending, right?! Please leave a review telling me what you thought. **

**I hope you're all well and that you stay safe.**

 **\- Star xo**

 **P.S.  
Keep an eye out for a sort of sequel, if you'd like to read something like that...it will be coming very soon. :)**


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